impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Default)
[personal profile] impy
In the past week I have washed pretty much every dish I think anyone in the house has used in the last freakin' year. At the moment I have maybe... six dishes still up in the air and two of those are the crock pot and its lid, which I didn't even realize was dirty until I peeked in it yesterday. o_O I don't remember the last time anyone used it! I'm guessing it was a meal I didn't partake in for whatever reason but still. So it's doing the heat and clean itself kind of thing. Hopefully it'll work.

I'm so tired of cleaning but every time I find myself with more than ten minutes of downtime, I gravitate towards finding something to clean or mess with. I clean instead of grieve. I thought when this happened with Dad it was because I was worried people would appear at the house and be horrified. Yeah, nope. It's how I process grief, or work around it or something. At least it's useful.


But I also bitch. My brother has been saying for the past week that he was coming by Saturday to mop the downstairs and vacuum the upstairs. Saturday came and went and nothing. Sunday he said he'd be by to do it then. Yeah, nope. Monday, Monday for sure he said as he stopped by Sunday to use the bathroom on his way wherever with his friend Lauren. I'm agreeing with Mom and Widget that it's not a good thing when he sees her. For someone who damn near died a few years ago, she seems to have gone right back to some serious 'fun' drinking. And the boy doesn't need that kind of encouragement, dammit. Anyway, Monday came and went and not a peep. This morning I get a call asking when Mom will need to be picked up and then he mentioned that he'd be by today to mop because he ran over a nail or something and had to get the tire patched yesterday. Our car, btw, because for some fucking reason he's been using it instead of his. WTF. The real rage was Sunday after he stopped by and I asked him to walk Angel before he left because he and Lauren woke the damn dog up and seriously, just take her down to the pond to do whatever she's gonna do. It's less than a five minute thing, y'know? But they don't. I go and take the dog and realize they're still sitting in the parking lot, in someone else's space btw, and they were there even when I came home fifteen minutes later. Since he didn't immediately disappear, it's not like he was waiting to make sure I wasn't murdered... and even if he was, he obviously could've walked the dog, dammit. The dog and I limped most pathetically down the parking lot and yeah, I wanted to smack someone. I was in full on rage mode by then.

Annnnnnnnd now I'm exhausted. This whole sleeping for four hours, max, thing has to stop. I'm not good with it. But I can't sleep yet because I must wait out the crock pot since we're in the cool down portion.

On the plus side, for maybe the next couple of hours parts of the house look amazing. Seriously, the kitchen is glorious and so is the front hall. I'm more proud of the kitchen because the hall is because I cheated and hid the books Mom and I got from the boy's ex when they wouldn't accept "no, really, we shouldn't, we don't have the room." Gotta find room for them on an actual shelf orrrrrrrr give them away. After reading, obviously.

Back I go to sorting old mail, I believe. Thrills and chills!

Wait! It's officially summer so that means the Summer Mini Challenge is up and running! If you write or want to write at all, I highly recommend this. I'm eying at least one of the tables and I just looked at the post like thirty seconds ago. Yup, when I'm not falling asleep where I sit, I'm signing up.
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impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Default)
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