I give

Sep. 23rd, 2012 08:38 am
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (MLP: FiM Flames Flames)
I've racked up quite a fine trying to finish this fucking book, so you lot are going to share my suffering, okay? Okay!

Let's start at the end: I think this will be my final Anita Blake book. I've never been all that fond of Anita herself, but I was intrigued by the world LKH dreamt up. When she put her mind to it, the woman could do creeping dread really well, and early!Anita might not be someone you'd ever want to call a friend but you'd be glad she was out there fighting the good fight, catching the bad guys and all that.
Since I read the Merry books first, I had no real issue with the sex when Anita finally began having some... and even when some turned into a lot, so long as there was a plot elsewhere, I had no real issue.
Then her wires got crossed and all plot seemed to escape while the sex went on and on forever. Boring sex! Meh. STILL. I'd come to give a damn about some of these characters and I either wanted to see them again (Damian, Edward, Asher) or I wanted them to be redeemed (Dolph, Richard) so... I hung around.
But with each book, I began to hate myself a little more. I began to hate LKH a lot. I was ready to give up and then the sex cut back and plots were sort of reintroduced to the story! Hallelujah!

Yeah. No. No they weren't. Coupled with the fact that Anita is the biggest fucking monster in the series these days and LKH is either pulling the biggest con ever (I don't think she's that talented, sadly) or is too blind to see the fact that her heroine is now decidedly the bad guy? I'm out. This book exemplifies almost all the reasons why.

I may pretty the thoughts up later, but as it is... )

You are a terrible character, Anita Blake. Earlier you would kill current you and run screaming from everything that made you a possibility as her future.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (nonononono)
My inner masochist came out to play a couple of weeks ago. I requested Flirt and the new LKH book (Bullet) from the library. I'm thinking Saint Laurell isn't quite as popular as she used to be since the wait list for Bullet was the same for Flirt. Non-existent.

My brain will never accept this as okay. )

All that said, and there's more I may edit in later, the comic at the end is adorable and worth being read.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (bestfriend)
My level of masochism is rising, though to be fair, I did not bring this entirely upon myself. When at the library during our last visit, Mums pointed out the new Merry Gentry book. Cass had begun reading it and she needed someone to commiserate with, so I decided I'd read it next.

Yeaaaaaaaah. Three pages in and I realized that for the most part, I don't really care all that much. Seems a bit odd since I like the Merry-verse more than Anita's (because while the joke is that Merry and Anita are the same character, they aren't. I think they're rapidly blurring together for their author, but I can still pretend that if the two met, Merry would be horrified by how much Anita lies to herself and the way she treats her gaggle of interchangeable boytoys.) but I couldn't really muster up any enthusiasm for the book. Possibly because Cass was bitching about it and I'd heard that a character I sort of liked (as much as one can like anyone on the B/C-list, I guess) suffered a serious case of character assasination.

It was worse than I feared. My pain, let me share it with you.
I'm not done yet, so this is pain in progress! )

Conclusion thus far?

Oi.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (blood)
It took a week, but I finally finished Skin Trade. I will probably never be clean again, but these things happen.

If you're wondering whether or not Anita is safe to read again, she's not. It's sadly that simple. Not even Edward could save this train wreck, and alas, his appearance was obviously that of a clone, because the real Edward was nowhere to be seen.

Anita has never been my favorite character in the books. I hated her for the most part from the word go, but for quite awhile I liked the idea that when she was recruited to do a job, she did it. She might not do it perfectly, and she'd whine like hell, but she would get the damn thing done.

As the series wore on, this ability was a little less rock solid. When Anita finally gave it up to JC and Richard, I was okay with that. I came from Merry-ville originally, so it's not like I had room to complain about sex in the series. But when we hit double digits for the various boytoys and guys kept as food, you knew that if your fictional counterpart ended up anywhere near Anita's stomping grounds, your death would go unpunished because Anita had better guys to do. Even if they didn't want to do her.

Which is to say nothing of the quality of the writing taking a serious header for the shitcan.

But the ideas and the world presented, those have always kept me interested. That, and the hope that Edward or someone would kill Anita.

It won't happen now. Our failsafe is gone. Instead, a new one has been put into action and we all know it's flawed from the start.


Spoilers. For real, man. )

And because I believe in letting someone dig their own grave, I present, in its entirety, the moment that made me realize she'd just completely phoned this one in.

The Case Against Skin Trade: )

Vampires

Aug. 3rd, 2009 04:15 am
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (random freakout)
... I'm almost done with Skin Trade. I'm kind of torn on how to rate it. Thus far, the sex has been essentially non-existant. [I peeked ahead, it does appear] So, you'd think this would mean the A-plot could move on with just a few bumps in the road thrown in for kicks, right?

Right. I just finished [before my nap] three pages of Anita and Wicked dancing around in circles about why Jean Claude didn't send anyone Anita would really want to feed off of. JC doesn't want anyone else added to her list of boytoys and Anita is confused as to why he'd essentially send all newbies. Whine, bitch, luckily no moaning. Wicked points out that she requested people who could handle themselves in a fight and whom she wouldn't mourn all that much if they, y'know, died. Plus, when hunting someone who likes to kill strippers? Is probably best if you don't flood the area with his victim of choice, right? LOGIC is used by a character named Wicked.

Anita cannot process this. Logic has no place in this world, man. So. Three pages of this.

I call bullshit. Even if Wicked was however many miles away, Edward was right there. The REAL Edward would have bitch slapped Anita and pointed out she got what she wanted and if she'd just, you know, stop fucking all the monsters, maybe these things wouldn't happen. Or, better still, he'd have killed her or let the cops do it. Because it's the equivalent of the badguys standing there while the magical pretty girl transforms for the better part of two to three minutes [and that's assuming she doesn't have other pretty girls backing her up, in need of their own transformations]. She was so busy whining that she wouldn't have noticed the SWAT guys turning their attention her way. Really.

Anita herself has never been my favorite part of the books. As time has gone by and the lines between Anita and her character have blurred, my like of her has shrunk even more. But then something interesting happened in ST, so I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to actually cut the series out completely. Anita has realized she's horrible at her Fed job. Conflicted in ways she wouldn't have been years ago, and she doesn't say this as a source of pride.

On the other hand, this is also the same character who assures a weretiger that she's not into rape and then, less than ten pages later, mind-fucks him just so she won't get mind-fucked herself. Realizes what she's doing and then does it anyway.

I long for the day when Laurell wakes up and realizes that her preternatural community is tired of this shit and has killed Anita a thousand different ways. And considering LKH is forever going on about how she's basically just transcribing what her characters tell her... It could so happen.

[I can dream. Let me dream.]

Over in Entertainment Weekly, we've got a vampire special that is a little less special than I hoped for. LKH brings the unintended laughter and I really, really hope they call her out on her "genre I sort of pioneered" comment next week because, yeah. Oh, the hilarity. Also, claiming that Anne Rice didn't really influence her writing/characters at all made me snort soda. Cuz, really? I'm thinking your vampires would beg to differ...

But whomever said all the genre was missing was the vampire who was a shoe whore? Needs to do more reading. Queen Betsy, man. Queen. Fucking. Betsy.

Annnnnnnnd I'm really not sure I'd include the Blue Bloods series or P.C. Cast's series, but I haven't read the latter so I can't be sure. It just seems weird to have their list of however many super fantastic vampires and have them also on the list. Oh, and Edward Cullen is not the Cullen made of awesome. That title belongs to Alice and anyone who argues on that point will be kicked in the head. [You may, however, offer up a different Cullen. But not Edward. Because as an actual vampire, he's lacking.]
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Default)
...um, no. See, once upon a time the LKH books could have the funky scary covers. Now I demand to see them showcasing what you'll actually find inside. Y'know, the smutty covers. Now dueling saws or whatever. Apparently new Anita touches down in June. Which means around my birthday I'll let you know how many braincells I killed.

It's sad that a) I'm still going on about this and b) I couldn't tell you a damn thing that happened in the last six or so books, but I can remember two of her short stories [from Strange Candy] with almost perfect love. Well, one I disown the ending because it's lame, but it's like everything but that last page was made of awesome. And those two damn stories keep me hoping even though they're old.

I have a headache and I'm hungry. I should eat something that's not just crunch peanut butter.

Also?

It's cold.

But the oracle will be updated sooner rather than later.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (heaven ain't)
Ahh, Book Exchange. I'm awfully glad you moved the however many tenths of a mile closer, but you will forever disappoint me. And yet, at the same time, you will also provide me with giggles to last the whole day through. It was just after opening and someone else had already beaten me there. Someone fairly loud. She was hunting for very specific things, paranormal romance to be precise, and about the time I gave up looking for any Jim Butcher novels, I overheard her [because I have ears that work more than 20%] asking where, oh where, the LKH books were. Now, I'll admit that waaaaay back when, at the other location and back before it was all porn, all the time, I had to have the same question asked.

But it took a will of iron [and a fear of truly Southern Fried Accents] to not run over and ask which book she was looking for, and if she knew that the brain bleach could only dull the memory, not wipe it clean.

Naturally this was the ONLY book she didn't announce to the entire store. I suspect that had it been one of the later ones I own, I might have offered it to her for like, five bucks for the hardback, which would be infinitely cheaper than whatever BE would have asked.

As it was, I picked up one of the older Roswell books, a BSC Friends Forever book [Claudia Gets Her Guy, I think], one of the River Heights books, and a couple of the AG books [Meet Felicity in hardback, Very Funny, Elizabeth, and Kirsten Learns A Lesson]. You now know some of the crap that catches my attention when I'm shopping second hand. I'm tempted by so much more. I was thisclose to buying a whole bunch from possibly the Sweet Valley Jr. High series, maybe something else... Wait, no. California Diaries. Technically, I think I own them all, but I seem to have lost a couple over the years and I don't recall which ones. It's times like this I wish I had my cell again, because by now I would have put in a list of books I need and kept it there. You might say the same thing could be done via pen and paper and a note slipped in my purse.

You might not realize that my purse and I are only friends on trips of the long persuasion, including those to Target. Anything else and I like to fly solo.

I'm thinking I'm going to go around and have people snag boxes for me, as if I were to move. I will then box up my crap, shove it out of my room and into the crack den, and then slowly reintroduce it to my room, only this time it'll go where it needs to go. If I didn't loathe getting rid of things, I'd say things might find their way to new homes, but let's be honest. I'm a pack rat.

I'm just not sure when exactly I could do this.

So.

tired.

*dies*
impy: Sweet Valley Twins Jessica looking pissed in new glasses with the text 'someone is going to PAY for this.' (pay for this)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*chokes*ooooooooooooooooooooo*cough*o.

I finished Blood Noir this morning. Finally. If you're curious, it's not as sex filled as most of her more recent stuff, although it's probably about on par with Merry, who hasn't been getting all that much, all things considered. In fact, the two days of fucking we only get to hear about after, and while much is made about it, it's a plot twist and we don't have to read the actual scenes. Hallelujah? Anyway, that's not what the scream was for. The scream wasn't even for the book ending.

It was for my poor, sweet city getting mentioned and thus sullied in one of her later books. :P

In case you want to see my brains on the wall... This is what happens when you remove plot, then bad porn, and are forced to rely on your rusty storytelling skills. )

Charleston is now without a Master of the City.

...I'm sure the prepified city is all a front.

...actually, that's where I get a little hazy. On the one hand, cool. On the other hand, considering I nearly died from parts of this book, uncool. Jason doesn't die, things work out, and now I must make sure that the vampires of my sunshiney city don't go apeshit. Fun times.

Little things:
It's taken... however many books, but hearing Richard call the mother of all freakin' darkness "Marmee" is just painful. I know Queen of the Damned was taken and all, but couldn't you find something else to call her?

Anita's thing for just-past jailbait is creepy. Doubley so when commented on by Richard.

A thought: If M. Noir is using Anita, and everyone is well aware of it and even considers taking Anita out so that M. Noir can't fully wake up, you'd think they'd just poison Anita and kill her when they had the first chance. Tell her it'll save all her boytoys and J-C will take good care of them, assuming it doesn't kill him when she croaks, but since she won't take the final marks and people are forever cutting the two of them off, it shouldn't. Kill her.

Was there something in the water to make the latest supernaturally inclined books by various authors have their stars suddenly lose chunks of their memory? Dresden did it, and it's not the first time, it's also similar enough that I must comment. I want to say one of the others I read did it too, but now my memory is hazy...


On the plus side, despite my apparent foaming at the mouth moments above, I lived through Blood Noir and needed it so I could channel my annoyance at something.

November's Offerings


Pullip: Marianne. While the name alone should guarantee her love and a home, it doesn't. I think I actually like her, but I would destroy her in seconds without even meaning to. Also, that's pretty much the only picture I love-love-love, and even then I know she's just too much.

DAL: Charlotte. I love the hair color and the eyes, but again, too much. She's cute, though.

Taeyang: Alberic. He has lovely eyes. Truly. I like the makeup around 'em, too. But no. Just... no.

So, November's safe for me. Which is good, since I just paid off August's. Well.... technically, I'm in the middle of doing that right this second. I can multi task. Yay me.

Today's heroine: zalliazallia

orange

Jul. 28th, 2006 05:57 pm
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (blood)
Orange postcard sized notice of doom.

Namely, we "tried" to deliver your package, but no one came to the door.

I only believe this if it's my normal mail man. The replacements have each been busted on the lie... repeatedly. [When you watch the mail truck arrive at your mailbox, shove stuff in and then move on to the next house as you scamper to the box and see the note? Yeah. Busted.]

Finished DM. I kept holding out hope there was a plot. No. Filler. So. Much. Filler. I know quite a few people had pretty much deemed this their last try book. You know, last try before Anita was relegated to the trash bin for good, or until the author found someone who didn't kiss her ass and made her insert a plot into the book and then follow it through like she used to do. I'd love to say I'll just shove the Anita books to the corner of my brain and say that's it. But I won't. I'll wonder if she ever managed to regain her sanity or fake it nice and pretty like before.

Merry's got another book or two before I scream in unfun ways. Only Laurell's all crotchsoulbound to Anita that even when working a Merry book, she's actually working a piss poor Anita book on the side.

Whore. :p

I want my box o' books, dammit.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (bunnies!)
Before I toddle off to shower and leave a note inquiring as to the odds of my non-secretary making a phone call for me, we'll play a rousing game of continue to bitch about danse macabre. You know it'll be a blast.

Today's drinking game? Everytime Laurell Anita says "Sweet Mary, Mother of God" well, you know what to do. I don't remember if she always said that or if it's just the phrase of the book. Right behind the word of the book! Which is?
Winsome. Everyone from Auggie to Asher is described, repeatedly, as winsome. I noticed this even as I was half asleep yesterday. That's never a good sign.
We presume you know the whole OMG!Anitamightbepreggers thing, which I don't consider a spoiler because a) the first chapter of doom has been online for ages and b) it's mentioned on the book jacket. So there. Anyway, I think this is one of those times when it really doesn't pay to read other supernatural type things. I'm used to MaryJanice Davidson's weres and their ability to sniff out pregnancies. Why? Because it makes sense, especially if you go with their ability to sniff out just about everything else. So the entire book [or however long that looms overhead] I keep waiting for one of the weres to breathe anywhere near her and that'll be that. Obviously this never happens.

I must be the only person on the planet who likes Damian [I don't even know why], but it would be nice if she'd stop trying to kill him by forgetting him. How the fuck, other than sheer stupidity, did that happen? She spent 300 pages [literally, since he doesn't show up until page 311] mentioning him repeatedly and how she'd managed to nearly kill him a few times, blah blah blah blah... and then she does it again. Meh. I did snort at his comment to the rehashed plotline though, so maybe that's worth it, sorta.

I find it extremely painful when old Anita pops up. Y'know, in between the sexing it up and whatnot, you'll have her yammer on about preternatural somethingorother and you'll think, "Oi! Anita, I remember you. How ya been? Oh, yeah, knee deep in ass."

No, I'm not done yet. But if the last Merry book didn't even manage to break a night, I suppose I shouldn't complain about the fact that I'm not sure this one will break 48 hours. But I think I'm gonna since there are ghosts of plot bunnies, but they were crushed under all the mind numbing sex.

Btw, Marmee Noir? Makes me snort each and everytime I read it. Right now even.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (bed)
So, at the urging of the Anita blake comm, read the first three chapters of the new book.

My head hurts so. Fucking. Much! And here's why. )
Yes. I realize that if I don't like something, I can always just not read it, buy it, whatever. Still, just because I don't like one thing doesn't mean I won't like the rest. Or something. Besides, one of these days people will figure out that you're is not the same as your. One day.

Actually, I think I agree with much of what the ever loverly T.S. said in his comment about it. Except I want Ronnie to bitch slap Anita.

And before I manage to forget this little fact, I love the vamp politics, the weird way her world is set up, and sometimes I even love Anita. But I don't really love the direction she seems to be heading down. At all.

Blah. Fixed printer. Productive. Trying to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith today. Really want to hit a used bookstore.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Default)
So, I finished A Stroke of Midnight. Tasty, but... )

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impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Default)
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