impy: tori from jackie's strength video (MLP: FiM Flames Flames)
Dear teeth,
Stop being jerks. Thank you.

Remember the great Saga of my Sweet Valley books? And how it was previously resolved?

I never actually got any email with any updated links or anything, so I thought maybe they just fixed it so the previous downloads wouldn't expire. (Stranger things have happened, k? Also, about that time I keeled over and had serious Sinus Health Issues.) Yeah, this morning they all started to expire.

So I went back through my emails very carefully to make sure I hadn't missed something. Nada. Off went another email to the lovely ladies at Chick Lit Isn't Dead and now I feel like a huge friggin' stalker even though none of this is my fault or theirs. Fuck you, St. Martin's Press. Your handling of this whole thing has been so incredibly bad that if I were watching this instead of being involved in it, I'd suffer so much secondhand embarrassment for you that I'd have to look away and just never come back.

Which is probably not how you want potential customers to react, right? You don't want them thinking you're money grubbing assholes, or too incompetent to figure out how to run a simple little giveaway, do you?

Apparently you do. GEEZ.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (molly)
Was going to review Nineteen Minutes but I think I'll let it sit in my head for another day before trying to gather my thoughts further.

Instead, we'll turn our gaze to toys. Because with me it's all books and toys with the occasional splash of television thrown in and a side order of cats.

Monster High has better pictures of the 13 Wishes line-up. I still need Clawdeen in my life immediately, and Frankie looks even more impressive than she did before. Eee!

Lagoona's Technicolor yellow is explained as one of the wishes (Freshwater!) and looks better than when she was just bright effing yellow, but I still worry that she's going to end up looking really obnoxious in person. *fret*

Mattel also brings us the news that Life In the Dreamhouse is getting a doll line (YES) and it's going to have Midge (MY BABY) and that the Raquelle doll is set to be so perfect I am dying. DYING.


Side note: If you haven't been watching 'Dreamhouse, you need to. Like now. Seriously, go get yourself some popcorn or whatever your snack of choice is and come back, ready to devote about an hour to this.

Now watch. It's a gazillion jokes going at all times and yes, they're totally mocking themselves too and it's awesome.


MLP brings us the TRU exclusives which include a set with Queen Chrysalis and a talking Nightmare Moon. I still need last year's set with Nightmare Moon. :P

AG has the pages sort of up for the new February release on the 14th but there are no photos aside from their facebook pic. Curiosity is driving me mad. But I'll be okay because I'm holding out/hoping for free shipping soon as they tend to do it for Easter shopping and Easter is early this year.

Did I ever update you lot on the Sweet Valley thing? You know, where I won the ebooks but the ones they sent came with an expiration date, so I emailed the ladies running the giveaway? So they emailed back and said it wasn't their intention to give away trials so they were going to get in touch with the publisher. Time passes and we get another email to say they haven't forgotten us and are still awaiting an answer. Another email to say to heck with the publisher, they'll buy us each a set if we're still interested. Then on the heels of that we get an email saying :
GREAT NEWS!!!! I just heard from St Martin's--they are going to reissue your eBooks this afternoon-so you can own them!

Um, I never got an email or anything from St Martin's so I'm still a little fuzzy on what's going on aside from the fact that I am Not Impressed with the company. (I am, however, impressed with the ladies running Chick Lit is Not Dead.)


To end on a good note, I should be getting mail soon and when I do, pic spam! :D
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (aww man mshigh)
  You might recall that a month ago I was all atwitter over winning the SVH ebook series from Chick Lit Is Not Dead. I waited patiently and when we'd hit a month out and no word, I sent a little note to the site (as they'd requested) and let them know no pretty shinies for me. Someone else had already posted on the site about their lack of shinies, so I figured it was just lost in the holiday shuffle.

I checked my email when I woke up this morning and it appears I was correct, someone didn't hit send when they should have (essentially) and so the five of us who won were waiting on something that wasn't going to come. :P

Fair enough, especially when I checked the email account I'd given them when they asked which eReader I wanted my books to appear on. (I chose the ONE that doesn't bork my phone) Waiting for me were a slew of links for my books!

I clicked the first one and my glee turned to "...wait, wtf?" for a variety of reasons.

1) This invitation to download a book expires in 30 days. Once you download the book, you will have 60 days to read it. Perhaps someone more well versed in the ways of things will point out that this just means "crack open the damn thing before 60 days are through and hey, yay!" but I'm taking it as "you have 60 days after DLing it to read it and then POOF. It's gone!"
   Which is a dick move. I waited a month for these, and no where in the fine print prior to this did it say "you win them for two months and then we repo them." Is this a standard thing? Because if so, I'd like to opt out of this reality. I prefer it when you win something and it's yours. Like that shitty copy of Letters to Kurt that I cannot give away. That sucker is MINE, whether I want it or not. But these? These that I want, poof? How fair is that?

2) Naturally these are incompatible with the only reader my phone has not rejected.
  Why, oh why, did you bother to ask which one I would prefer to use then? Seriously?

I am bitterly disappointed. Emphasis on the bitterly. Funny, MacMillan. Oh so funny.

I'll admit, my first thought beyond a stream of obscenities, was "dammit, now I have to buy them" but then the genius part of my brain said to hell with that. I won these stupid things and if they think I'm going to fork over an additional $35.88 in two months, they can kiss my ass.

You can publish shitty "10 years later!" updates and I'll accept it because the author/creator is obviously insane. You can then follow that up with the creator being blissfully unaware of how anything, anywhere, is ever done with the possible exception of France (I dunno but you can't go three seconds in an interview with FP without France being mentioned) and I'll still fork over my money because I am a fan. But this?

This is where I draw my line.

Which sucks for you, because I can't think of too many other people who love SV the way I do.

Book reccs.

Dec. 8th, 2012 01:06 pm
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (looking glass)
Things I have learned today:
Walgreens Nice Iced Ginger cookies taste horrible. I'm giving the rest of the package to Mums. Maybe she or the Widget will like them. (So why did I eat three cookies before making this decision?)

The Fudge Kit I bought at work was less work than my usual fudge recipe (it's like they shrunk that one down, honestly) but the bits that were left in the pan don't taste as yummy as my usual recipe. I'm thinking my initial "there isn't enough sugar or butter in this. My arteries aren't screaming for mercy!" reaction may be correct, but it's still setting. As it is, I'm pretty sure I'm going to wind up buying the ingredients for my fudge and killing my arm to make it. Mmm. Fudge.

The humidity around here is making my ornaments take forever to dry. But I know they will. Eventually. One day. (I knew this already but hey.)

In SV land, I find it's not the holidays until I have read The Evil Twin, The Return of the Evil Twin, and Magic Christmas. Some years I read the mini series leading up to Evil Twin but most years I don't. I always try to leave one of these three for Christmas Eve reading because as twisted as I am, that's what makes the holiday. That and a Psych holiday special, a viewing of The Family Stone and enough jam thumbprints to kill a person. Usually I try to make it Evil Twin or Magic Christmas as The Return is more of a New Year's story.

I'm pretty sure most SV fans have read The Evil Twin, but let's take a moment to discuss The Magic Christmas. Maybe this will be the year I learn what it's a rip-off of?

Liz and Jessica are given dolls by their grandparents. Neither is all that thrilled because they're 12 and too old for such weird dolls. Each doll comes with a poem, and despite the fight the twins are engaged in come Christmas (always and forever, man) they come up with the same answer at the same time. When they do, the dolls come alive and hobble off to return to the realm. The twins follow and are sucked into a strange land, each with the doll turned young prince who is essentially their twin but in prince form.

Mermaids, unicorns, flying leaves, and an evil wizard all play big roles in the book and things are just so completely over the top and fabulous that I have to love it. There's a cameo by Amanda and Samantha from the Wakefield Saga (ee!) and the twins learn the true meaning of Christmas. Or twinhood.

And Lila ends up with an even uglier doll.

In the grand hierarchy of holiday SV books, I figure this one is right after Evil Twin and above Return.

We also enjoy Big for Christmas, where the ripoff is obvious in the title alone. A Christmas Without Elizabeth is... special (I'd rather know how the Valley would be different without Jessica), and The Year Without Christmas is Jessica being her shallow best.

We don't know why we are suddenly we but there you go.

Fudge should be set. Wish me luck.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Default)
I have a million things I want to do, and probably should do, but sadly I am exhausted so they will have to wait. I'm hoping that I'll wake up sometime mid-afternoon and have time to work on my to-do list, but until then, have a mini-rant and some useless trivia. Huzzah!

  Work would have been pretty much perfect except that around 5:30 this morning, the guy who used to deliver our newspapers came by for the third time and he went off because the store was still closed. Dude, they were doing the floor. It takes time to dry. The first time we were outside because we couldn't get back in until one of the aisles dried. The second time the floor was still wet and the registers were down because hello, thunderstorm. Third time he just starts screaming what bullshit this is and he's directing his anger my way. And no one fucking said anything. Fuck you, floor cleaning dudes. But majorly fuck you, Syd Wilson, paper-douche. Really, you seemed to be under the impression that bitching at me with the fun words would somehow magically make it so that I would risk fucking up the floors just to sell you your cigarettes. Uh, no.

And had I thought about the fact that I could have probably reached them without needing to go behind the counter, I still wouldn't have because by this point I was ready to tell you to fuck off and never come back to the store when I was around.

Had you been nice and understanding, I would have called you back when I realized I could probably reach the cigs, or get someone who could, and then rung you up on a different register. But your screaming? Yeah. It rattled me. So the next time I see you, you'd better apologize. Or else I'm not ringing you up then, either.

Self: the next time you go looking for books Susan Wittig Albert wrote for Sweet Valley, just look here:
* Standing Out, Sweet Valley Twins #25, Bantam, 1989
* April Fool, Sweet Valley Twins #28, Bantam, 1989
* Princess Elizabeth, Sweet Valley Twins #30, Bantam, 1989
* Jessica On Stage, Sweet Valley Twins #32, Bantam, 1990
* Mary is Missing, Sweet Valley Twins #36, Bantam, 1990
* War Between the Twins, Sweet Valley Twins #37, Bantam, 1990
* The Twins Get Caught, Sweet Valley Twins #41, Bantam, 1990
* Elizabeth's First Kiss, Sweet Valley Twins #43, Bantam, 1990
* Mademoiselle Jessica, Sweet Valley Twins #46, Bantam, 1990
* Mandy Miller Fights Back, Sweet Valley Twins #48, Bantam, 1990
* The Twins' Little Sister, Sweet Valley Twins #49, Bantam, 1991
* Elizabeth the Impossible, Sweet Valley Twins #51, Bantam, 1991
* The Slime that Ate Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley Twins #53, Bantam, 1991
* Coco Crazy, Sweet Valley Twins #55, Bantam, 1991 (Actually: Brooke and her Rock Star Mom)
* Giovanna's Secret, Sweet Valley Twins #60, Bantam, 1991 (Ciao, Sweet Valley)

Some of those are pretty awesome. (Why yes. I am looking at you, Mary is Missing and Mandy Miller Fights Back) Now. If you'll excuse me, I have to go pass out as I attempt to finish Mourning Gloria.


Apr. 2nd, 2011 12:21 pm
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Lila)
There were two things I loved about SVC. Only one is keeping me from setting the book ablaze.
Pics or it didn't happen. )
  The other has to do with cake and the Wakefield parents. :P
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Default)


  I'm more than halfway through this and my very limited review thus far? Two versions.

What the shit is this?!


ETA: Finished. I don't often speak to my books, but I was reduced to What the blue fuck is this shit?! by the end. I... what? WHY? Who thought this was a good idea? Where were the fact checkers on this project? How hard is it to open a friggin' google search for these things?

For fuck's sake, man.

I need a drink. A lot of them.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (snowy impala)
The bad.
I'm awake. I should have gone to bed already. The truck is going to be in the shop for awhile. Hopefully the boy is mistaken about this (this is where one of you is magical, k?) b ut even if he isn't, paying for the fix is going to be difficult. Ari still hasn't gotten back to me on the whole being able to give me a ride to/from work tomorrow. Normally I wouldn't mind another night off work, I just feel weird about calling out. Again. Mostly that's because the past two weeks my paychecks have been wrong and I don't really want to have to go through a third week of them being wrong. (Which bugs me. The first week is understandable, but I was there when the second week was being put into the computer. If you felt weird about using a vacation day for the Worst Vacation Ever, why didn't you just ask if that's what I wanted done? Also, apparently it wasn't even that. It was not paying me for a night when I was definitely at work. WTF. Payroll. You're doing it wrong. Bonus because the night in question was a night the person doing payroll worked.)

The good.
  My blanket is warm and toasty. It's like being hugged without having to worry about my breath or my hair getting in someone's face. Just mine. Sweet Valley Confidential has shipped. :D I'm so excited for something that I'm pretty sure is going to kill my brain cells en masse, but good lord, I'm practically bouncing at the thought.
Before learning of the truck, I put in my order for doll crack (nothing major) and with it, I have completed my AG Molly collection until it comes time to order Molly/Emily and their accessories. This could mean that AG will throw me a curveball and take out Josefina or Addy first, but I'm betting pretty hard on the Molly retirements and the fact that she was expected by most of the fandom (who keep up on these things anyway) to be archived last year as indicators that she's toast this year. Whatever. Point is, all the stuff currently available that I want? I've got. Or will be getting when they ship off backorder. I do so love doing backorders with free shipping, even if you do have to spend a certain amount to qualify. The only time I didn't like doing it was for Kit's desk and that's because it was a semi-expensive purchase looming overhead with little warning as to when it would swoop down and nail my bank account. Little ones though, those I can live with.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to decide whether to do my Ella pic-spam or watch the third season of The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Yes. Seriously. Mmhmm. It's so over the top and insane that I lack the words to properly describe it.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (naughty)
I'm trying to decide how to properly word a not-quite thank you note to the insensitive woman who hosted my father's memorial service. Given the way she blew up at my brother two days after making everyone in my family, excluding Widget, feel like complete and utter shit at the actual memorial, I thought it was only right to make sure that she knew exactly how much of a cunt I think that makes her. Seriously, who chooses that day to be a right royal bitch to someone? How much of a whackjob do you have to be to introduce yourself to someone (hello, we've already met, lady) and then cut someone down?

But I've found that if you word things just so, there's always plausible deniability in certain things. So. Nice thank you card with a not so nice message inside. But not so over the top that she can wave it around and say, "See? See? Ungrateful trailer trash!" or something. Warfare is dangerous in feminine hands.

Thus far I have this. )

*muse* Ah well. I'll figure it out, right?

Soooooo, I'm blaming [ profile] luxken27 for this. She informs me of Amazon's price for the new SV book that comes out at the end of the month. I take my time, wait Amazon out, and then suddenly in a fit of insanity I buy it. But I detest paying for shipping when it's going to kick it up close to $25 anyway, so I ordered a few books that are essentially from the bargain bin. (I love bargain bin books. LOVE.) Happy but not wholly satisfying, to tell the truth. I'm itching for something else. But what?

Who knows. But two days later I get a notice that the first three SVH books are being re-released in one volume and despite the fact that I know these are the re-issues (and I have serious, serious issues with the third book's revamp; wake up and smell the suck, Elizabeth) I still wants it. But I'm ready to deny myself when I notice that Ghoulia is back in stock on Amazon. And together they're pretty damn close to being $25 even. It's a SIGN, I tell you.

So... I bought them both. I fully expected Amazon to do what it usually does at times like these and hold my stuff hostage until my pre-ordered stuff was available. No. Ghoulia's been shipped, some random book from my first section has been shipped, a third book is in processing to ship. My mother is going to have kittens when my mail starts to pour in, despite the fact that I didn't go completely insane. Two orders from two different paychecks, man.

Whoa. Why did no one tell me that Hey Dude and Salute Your Shorts were available on Amazon's on demand thingie? (Btw, Clarissa Explains It All is on sale for $9.99 @ Best Buy for those who care about such things.)
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (torriiiiiii)
New work pants ordered. (Oddly enough it was cheaper to order them online, ship them to the store, and take total advantage of a coupon code.) Now to wait for them to come in. Despite the fact that I would bet fantastic amounts of money that they're there at the store and they could just pick them up off the shelf. Whatever. Don't care. Have to remember to warn dad that they should be calling. They were basically half price and I seriously need a new pair. I should have bought two pairs, but I am thinking new shoes are more important than the extra pants at this particular moment in time. *muse* I'll look for those in a bit.

Anyone else a SVH fan? There's a shitstorm going on on [ profile] 1bruce1 about the new book that comes out next year. 10 years after the fall of SVH... er, I mean... Who knows what I mean. If you sign up at, they'll email you the first chapter of the book. And you will kill me for suggesting this because OHMYGOD. The horror.

I've vented everywhere else, why not here? )

Hey. Barnes and Noble! Fuck you. I pre-ordered my Tori crack as soon as it was announced and yesterday you canceled my fucking order. Which I would understand if your stupid site weren't telling me I could totally order it RIGHT NOW and pick it up at the store, so long as I was willing to pay more than my pre-order was for. WTF, man. Out of the three stores in my area, it's available at two of them. I want my effing pre-order price, I want my DVD, and I want it fucking now. Just because you want to weasel out of me getting it cheaper does not mean I'm going to let you.

That's right. I, the shyest, meekest, quietest little mouse around? Totally willing to throw down just to get my DVD for, what, like three-to-five bucks cheaper.
impy: Sweet Valley Twins Jessica looking pissed in new glasses with the text 'someone is going to PAY for this.' (pay for this)
...I just figured out what NaNo for this year should have been. For me, anyway. SVH from the non-Wakefield perspective. But Impy, they did that shit Senior Year! To which I say:

Dude, SY does not count.

  SY does not count because to really, truly be part of the Valley, we need more than the fastest/worst alcoholic recovery of all time.
   We need evil doppelgangers, mildly annoying doppelgangers of dead girlfriends who Died Tragically, at least two occasions where a gun is presented as more than a fashion accessory but doesn't actually do anything other than shoot a B list character or Steven Wakefield, psychos falling in love with one or both of the Wakefield twins, the Droids, Todd and Liz doing the "are we/aren't we dance", Jessica forgoing the obvious evil plan for something incredibly stupid and failing in her plan, but ultimately reaching her goal, D-list characters getting thrown under the bus in a possibly literal situation depending on the level of psychosis at the time...
  We need the pool push, the Todd punch, the complete and utter disregard for continuity as a whole, Lila being Lila, vampires, and at least one run in with either a ghost/werewolf/or some other creature that Should Not Exist. We need brushes with the law that prove that the SVPD couldn't catch a killer if the killer ran straight to the police station, drenched in the victim's blood, had video tape of the crime being committed and confessed right then and there, just to walk two feet out of the police station and wait for them in the road... right after they announced this brilliant plan. We need someone to do a drug of any persuasion, have a really bad reaction, and hopefully DIE or horribly disfigure a small child or something.

  If you do not have the above, you, my friend, do not have Sweet Valley.


Jul. 21st, 2005 05:42 am
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (sexy beast)
...The headache continues.

Also, much drama everywhere. Why do people feel the need to constantly add more drama to things? I swear. Luckily, this go round I can just kind of sit back and look, though not really laugh.

because I can and it will haunt you to wonder what's behind the cut )

I'm hungry. Though I sincerely doubt there's anything really all that munchable in the house. There's popcorn, and I'm debating the merits of it. And... I could have a sammich. That might be best. *muse* Finished reading SVU: Face It and...whatthefuzzy? Whenever Jessica went and got 'mature' she also lost her ability to plan evil plots. So that's how they killed it, eh? To lead into the Elizabeth mini, anyway. And then that killed it dead. Sigh. Started to read one of the SVU lurve diaries, but my brain exploded, so I switched to Every Boy's Got One by Meg Cabot, which Mom picked up for whatever reason. Tis cute.

La. Cold. Need to address the letter to Ryan, wait until the sun starts to rise and head out to the mailbox. Bah.

You know what's really annoying? My brother spent the week at a beach house. How fair is that?

Off to forage for food.


impy: tori from jackie's strength video (Default)

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