impy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
impy) wrote2025-12-15 05:53 am
impy) wrote2025-12-15 05:53 am
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Welcome to Impy's brain is unable to hold a single, solitary thought for any real length of time, part eleventy-billion. I know I get *makes vague but sweeping hand gestures* spacey at the end of the year because work really does suck in ways it doesn't have to, but I feel like this December I'm more untethered than usual.
I think part of that is because I got sick sooner than I seem to normally, but given my FB memories that popped up this week, it wasn't by much. It could also be that the house is only kinda decorated? Like Widget did a few things but left so many other things and right now I lack the energy/ambition/desire to do anything about it. Actually, thinking about it, having that weird appraisal right before Thanksgiving probably did a lot towards unsettling me, and then you factor in Cass's stepfather dying riiiiiiiiight before goddaughter 1's birthday and yeah.
*big sigh* So, yesterday was his memorial lunch, for lack of a better phrase. I'm still not entirely sure if that's what it was supposed to be or what, but it was held out at the event space next to the restaurant he worked at for decades. Like when I met and started really hanging out with Ari and Cass, he was working there, and chances were good if we went out to eat while I was at their house, it would be at that restaurant since he'd either comp it or it'd be discounted heavily. (Not that kid!me ever really put that together and always made sure to order the absolute cheapest thing on the menu, either in fear that I/my parents would be on the hook for the bill, or because you simply do not ask someone else to pay insane prices when the cheapest thing will do just fine.) Anyway, for something that was supposed to start at 1pm, it didn't really seem to kick off til 2pm (which was the original time anyway), but the extra hour and change did give time to acclimate before everyone and their hamster arrived, causing Cass to hiss about, "I thought she said this was going to be small" in more, and less happy words. It seemed to be primarily family and the immediate people who worked with/owned the restaurant initially (and those of us adopted in), and then I'm guessing the rest were friends or coworkers who showed up a little later. But I honestly don't know since for the most part I didn't interact with him all that much.
Thing is, he's probably the friend's parental figure in my life who showed me it was possible for someone to seem, and possibly even BE a not great parental figure but then change to become a much better one.
I don't know how much being a kid colors my perception of some of the things he did or I was told he did when I first met A&C, but there were some things that made me wonder wtf (like he'd seemingly throw them under the bus when their mom was raging about something that either wasn't done, or was done and shouldn't be done), and I'm still not sure what happened with Ari's failed semester abroad in college (at the time she blamed him for not paying the tuition like he was supposed to, but I don't know if that's something that was later found to not be his fault), and for awhile Ari was pissed as shit at him for that... but at some point, he seemed to change.
The stories I'd hear about him became things he was doing FOR them. It's possible their perception of him changed, but at some point it became VERY clear that of her two father figures (not counting her grandfather), Hal was the better father. He'd go out of his way to spare Cass's feelings, something her biofather wasn't seemingly capable of at the time (and to be fair, i still do not like that man so my bias is showing), he'd intercede in spats between Cass and her mom and not necessarily be on her mom's side by default. I wish I could remember better, but there was something around the time Cass moved in with her dad (either right before or right after) and she was going on about how great her dad was, even as he was actively letting her down at that exact moment and she was pretty clearly in denial about it, and whatever he wasn't doing, Hal WAS... and she just couldn't see it. This happened a lot around that time period and it would drive me nuts.
He would show up for things without having to be reminded, he obviously loved Cass and Ari ( to say nothing of his bio son) and showed up for them when things got weird with Ari, and him choosing to be called Poppy by Cass's kids (the name she used for her beloved grandfather) still makes me cry if I think about it too much, because he KNEW what it meant and what the expectations would be. It breaks my heart that he only got to be a grandfather, something he pretty clearly loved, for such a short period of time.
And because future!me will absolutely forget this if I don't write it down: Erin, his second grandbaby, when told about the plan to spread his ashes, was initially horrified because she thought, "the sharks are going to eat Poppy?!" and people explained gently that no, that wasn't going to happen and she then pivoted to, "OHHHH, the sharks are going to GUARD Poppy!" and that is the cutest damn thing I've heard in a while.
At the lunch, the three girls were pretty inseparable for awhile. When a stranger (to them, I think she was technically a relative of theirs but they didn't know her) sat down, GD1 carefully walked over to our table (it was the next table over, so not far) and then gestured for GD2 and E to come over because, y'know, stranger danger. If GD1 would wander away, E would call out for her to come back, come back. E is definitely the most outgoing of the three, but GD2 was pretty close, while GD1 is very much into doing her own thing and woe to the person who gets between her and her fixation. Luckily for all three, that one thing seemed to be playing the same mobile game, as the goddaughters both successfully conned their parents into downloading it so they could also play along with E.
I will say, that for a restaurant literally known for one specific item, it was bold of them to not have that item in the offerings. Like, my brother (after I told him I didn't need a ride after all) told me to enjoy the hushpuppies. No hushpuppies to be found. I'm unclear as to why. Did they think they wouldn't hold up to the buffet style presentation? (Ridiculous since they were replenishing the food multiple times once it arrived.) Did they just figure everyone would eat the hushpuppies and nothing else? Entirely possible. I tried the crab dip because I didn't feel like peeling shrimp and while everyone was all, "the pork cubes are delicious! ...assuming they're actually pork." and GD2 was all over them, I... didn't feel like it. I'm not a chicken wing person, but crab dip seemed okay. It was fine.
I hung out with Ari and D, Jess, Cass, and M, and the kids. It was wild seeing some of their family that I haven't seen in YEARS, like her cousin who got us in trouble when we went to see Scream, and now he's got grown ass kids. What the hell.
It was also a little wild to see how pretty and sunshiny (and warm) it was and then go outside and feel the breeze and know the temperature was going to freefall as soon as the sun started to set. Seeing as it was 60-something at the time and now it's 24 (but feels like 14!), it was a pretty reasonable bet.
I always forget how different winter and fall afternoons are and how much I love them. Probably because with my sleep schedule and work schedule, I don't really get to experience them all that much. *muse* Once I got home, I did stay outside for a bit because, well, it was pretty.
And because why wouldn't I schedule something for both days of my weekend, today is eye appointment day. Ooh, ahh.
Debating taking a small nap beforehand, actually.
I think part of that is because I got sick sooner than I seem to normally, but given my FB memories that popped up this week, it wasn't by much. It could also be that the house is only kinda decorated? Like Widget did a few things but left so many other things and right now I lack the energy/ambition/desire to do anything about it. Actually, thinking about it, having that weird appraisal right before Thanksgiving probably did a lot towards unsettling me, and then you factor in Cass's stepfather dying riiiiiiiiight before goddaughter 1's birthday and yeah.
*big sigh* So, yesterday was his memorial lunch, for lack of a better phrase. I'm still not entirely sure if that's what it was supposed to be or what, but it was held out at the event space next to the restaurant he worked at for decades. Like when I met and started really hanging out with Ari and Cass, he was working there, and chances were good if we went out to eat while I was at their house, it would be at that restaurant since he'd either comp it or it'd be discounted heavily. (Not that kid!me ever really put that together and always made sure to order the absolute cheapest thing on the menu, either in fear that I/my parents would be on the hook for the bill, or because you simply do not ask someone else to pay insane prices when the cheapest thing will do just fine.) Anyway, for something that was supposed to start at 1pm, it didn't really seem to kick off til 2pm (which was the original time anyway), but the extra hour and change did give time to acclimate before everyone and their hamster arrived, causing Cass to hiss about, "I thought she said this was going to be small" in more, and less happy words. It seemed to be primarily family and the immediate people who worked with/owned the restaurant initially (and those of us adopted in), and then I'm guessing the rest were friends or coworkers who showed up a little later. But I honestly don't know since for the most part I didn't interact with him all that much.
Thing is, he's probably the friend's parental figure in my life who showed me it was possible for someone to seem, and possibly even BE a not great parental figure but then change to become a much better one.
I don't know how much being a kid colors my perception of some of the things he did or I was told he did when I first met A&C, but there were some things that made me wonder wtf (like he'd seemingly throw them under the bus when their mom was raging about something that either wasn't done, or was done and shouldn't be done), and I'm still not sure what happened with Ari's failed semester abroad in college (at the time she blamed him for not paying the tuition like he was supposed to, but I don't know if that's something that was later found to not be his fault), and for awhile Ari was pissed as shit at him for that... but at some point, he seemed to change.
The stories I'd hear about him became things he was doing FOR them. It's possible their perception of him changed, but at some point it became VERY clear that of her two father figures (not counting her grandfather), Hal was the better father. He'd go out of his way to spare Cass's feelings, something her biofather wasn't seemingly capable of at the time (and to be fair, i still do not like that man so my bias is showing), he'd intercede in spats between Cass and her mom and not necessarily be on her mom's side by default. I wish I could remember better, but there was something around the time Cass moved in with her dad (either right before or right after) and she was going on about how great her dad was, even as he was actively letting her down at that exact moment and she was pretty clearly in denial about it, and whatever he wasn't doing, Hal WAS... and she just couldn't see it. This happened a lot around that time period and it would drive me nuts.
He would show up for things without having to be reminded, he obviously loved Cass and Ari ( to say nothing of his bio son) and showed up for them when things got weird with Ari, and him choosing to be called Poppy by Cass's kids (the name she used for her beloved grandfather) still makes me cry if I think about it too much, because he KNEW what it meant and what the expectations would be. It breaks my heart that he only got to be a grandfather, something he pretty clearly loved, for such a short period of time.
And because future!me will absolutely forget this if I don't write it down: Erin, his second grandbaby, when told about the plan to spread his ashes, was initially horrified because she thought, "the sharks are going to eat Poppy?!" and people explained gently that no, that wasn't going to happen and she then pivoted to, "OHHHH, the sharks are going to GUARD Poppy!" and that is the cutest damn thing I've heard in a while.
At the lunch, the three girls were pretty inseparable for awhile. When a stranger (to them, I think she was technically a relative of theirs but they didn't know her) sat down, GD1 carefully walked over to our table (it was the next table over, so not far) and then gestured for GD2 and E to come over because, y'know, stranger danger. If GD1 would wander away, E would call out for her to come back, come back. E is definitely the most outgoing of the three, but GD2 was pretty close, while GD1 is very much into doing her own thing and woe to the person who gets between her and her fixation. Luckily for all three, that one thing seemed to be playing the same mobile game, as the goddaughters both successfully conned their parents into downloading it so they could also play along with E.
I will say, that for a restaurant literally known for one specific item, it was bold of them to not have that item in the offerings. Like, my brother (after I told him I didn't need a ride after all) told me to enjoy the hushpuppies. No hushpuppies to be found. I'm unclear as to why. Did they think they wouldn't hold up to the buffet style presentation? (Ridiculous since they were replenishing the food multiple times once it arrived.) Did they just figure everyone would eat the hushpuppies and nothing else? Entirely possible. I tried the crab dip because I didn't feel like peeling shrimp and while everyone was all, "the pork cubes are delicious! ...assuming they're actually pork." and GD2 was all over them, I... didn't feel like it. I'm not a chicken wing person, but crab dip seemed okay. It was fine.
I hung out with Ari and D, Jess, Cass, and M, and the kids. It was wild seeing some of their family that I haven't seen in YEARS, like her cousin who got us in trouble when we went to see Scream, and now he's got grown ass kids. What the hell.
It was also a little wild to see how pretty and sunshiny (and warm) it was and then go outside and feel the breeze and know the temperature was going to freefall as soon as the sun started to set. Seeing as it was 60-something at the time and now it's 24 (but feels like 14!), it was a pretty reasonable bet.
I always forget how different winter and fall afternoons are and how much I love them. Probably because with my sleep schedule and work schedule, I don't really get to experience them all that much. *muse* Once I got home, I did stay outside for a bit because, well, it was pretty.
And because why wouldn't I schedule something for both days of my weekend, today is eye appointment day. Ooh, ahh.
Debating taking a small nap beforehand, actually.
