Allure vexes me so

I have decided that the subscription to Allure was a mistake. The only reason I went ahead with it was their stupid free bag/cheapness. Speaking of which, I am still bagless, by the way. They also sent me two issues I don't give a rats ass about [they still remain unopened in their little plastic baggies] which isn't their fault. But the fact that the second one came incredibly late? Totally their fault.
You see, I got my first issue and then the second one hit newsstands. I waited a few days, it didn't show, so I paid my friggin' bill. Yes? With me so far? Good, because customer service wasn't. Annnnyway. I went online, found that InStyle spoiled me horribly as to how customer service is handled [fully automated! Online this is a good thing, bitches.] and paid my bill. A week or so later, issue two arrived. Sometime in July I get to work and see the Kate Hudson issue and I'm all excited because I like Kate Hudson. I might actually read this month's issue. Yay! ... and I wait. And I wait. And the issue dwindles down to selling out and I email, realizing that either the issue has been mislaid or some such nonsense.

And I fucking wait for three days for someone to get back to me.
Your first two issues were sent, then service was suspended on your
subscription while awaiting payment. When your payment was received,
service was resumed with the September 2006. Your expiration date has
been extended by the number of issues missed. Please allow six to eight
weeks for this change to appear on your address label.

You may want to pick up the August issue on the newsstand.

If you should need further assistance, please be sure to include all
previous e-mail correspondence.

Thank you for subscribing to Allure Magazine.

Sincerely,

Stacey

Oh, really? Do you think this might have been something I wanted to know about BEFORE THE DAMN THING SOLD OUT*?!

[*at work, so I could get my discount, that is.]

According to US weekly, September is Christina Whataretroslutta, of which I will then be tempted to set the thing ablaze and send the charred remains back to Allure, voicing my displeasure.

But catty behavior aside, is it too much to have been informed of the change in the stupid subscription? Eh? G'ah. This is almost [but not quite] as annoying as the subscription [ever so brief] to US weekly where they then sold my name out and I kept getting calls from this creepy dude who would not take no for an answer when I said stop calling me, I don't want any stupid magazines, and if you don't stop the monthly calls, I'll hunt you down and make you watch Dora the Explorer [also known as the most boring show in the world] until your eyes bleed. This is just vexing.

More later. Going to hunt a widget and return a credit card.