I Just Can't Walk Away

Because I cancelled my Paramount+ account due to the CBS fuckery, I've been spending the heatwave inside and binging S3 of Yellowjackets. Monday, Mums appeared and I thought she was just going to sit for a few minutes. Two hours later, we break for dinner because I'm not able to eat and watch because you never know when the gore's gonna appear. Said gore is why I didn't rope Mom in earlier, since she's more squeamish than I am when things are actually shown.

I nearly lost it when I asked her something and she responded with, "They really like some of those names, huh?"

She'd watched nearly two full episodes and hadn't realized that it was a dual timeline. To be fair, I'm not sure it'd be super obvious if you picked it up where she did (S3, episode 7?) but still. ♥ She seemed very relieved when I told her they were the same characters, just at different times in their life.

At some point I will be putting some of my thoughts together, but today is not that day.

If I bitch later in the week about getting pinkeye, I'm gonna be SO pissed.


Saturday I got my Sally Hansen Crystal nail polish I'd been eying. For freeeeeeeeeeee. It was my Employee of the Month reward. :D It's so pretty, though I haven't worn it yet since I was wearing a blue polish at the time. (Technically two, but they're nearly dupes of each other.)


Tired now. Gonna sleep.

Apparently Wednesday sold out Sunday, other than a small restock/found batch on Monday and then poof. Yay! (I mean, boo for me not getting her but dude, her selling out so fast is pretty nifty. )

I need the vertically challenged Leos to stop fucking with me. I just... no.

The week before my vacation started, and no I don't remember which day nor do I wish to look it up, a cute guy comes through my line at work and asks in a very chill way if I'd let him take me to lunch sometime. And because I've decided what the hell, let's try NOT being a complete social outcast of my own making, I agreed and gave him my number. He passed the next test when I told him I wouldn't get back to him for few hours because I don't keep my phone on me at work so uh, blowing up the number wouldn't be wise. He just sent a text or two and didn't melt down when I didn't immediately get back to him.*

So we text back and forth for awhile, even throughout my vacation and while a few yellow flags did come up, it's not like it's his fault he's a Leo. (It is, however, his fault he didn't ever ask when my birthday was, but ehhh.) Sunday, we chat on the phone for about an hour and there comes a moment or three where I'm mentally like, yeah, no, but not in a "my god, what the fuck is wrong with this guy" way.** More in a kind of not really expecting to hear from him again way. But he ends the call with a vague promise to try and set something up before I go back to work. Again, my dude, that's Wednesday, but ok. As one of those people who can thrive on cancelled plans, I don't put too much stock in that, and that's good because nothing gets set up or, as far as I can tell, attempted. But we do text, and if you're like, "but I thought you said nah, I'm good" I am attempting to shake off years of social awkwardness, so I kinda need some practice and again, nothing that really hit the WTF meter. I can be a judgy little crab and it was nice chatting with someone who did grow up here that I didn't know before. At some point the texts lag a bit and I figure this is where he's going to politely dip out and ghosting here would've been fine. We've had multiple moments where had he gone poof, it would've been fine, ok? Just those moments where you might realize oh, no, this just isn't a connection and that's fine.

But nope, he doubles down and on Thursday night before work I get a message about him wanting to stop by on one of my breaks and we could hang out, have some food. I do the social panic and then agree because what the hell, why not. He does reply to this, btw. I reply to that and then keep my phone on me because duh. Midnight comes and goes, my break comes and goes, and nothing.

Nothing.

I hear nothing until this morning when I checked my phone maybe 20 minutes ago and realize I have a missed call and two texts from him last night, asking if he could swing by work then.


My good dude, what the fuck. To be fair, I did re-read the Thursday text and it didn't specify it was that night, just sometime, but I feel like then going absolutely radio silent for 95% of the weekend (I figure 9pm on a Sunday is probably 5% of a weekend if we're being generous, let's not really do math) erases any of that goodwill.


...the fuck. I'd honestly written him off as just being weird in his ghosting timing but this is almost worse. At least if he ghosted, that'd be the end of it. o_O






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*I still remember the dude who either looked me up on FB or I gave my number to, I don't remember which, who lost his goddamn mind when I didn't get back to him ASAP. My good dude, I was at work. I immediately blocked him when I finished reading through all the messages, of which there were many and they were increasingly unhinged.


** Not like, say, the guy who went on a texting spree that culminated in a shirtless photo of him cradling a gun. Immediate block for you, too, my dude.

All right, let's try and catch up with the various AG things I've missed or just not shared here. In no particular order because what even is time these days?

The Truly Me lineup got a new outfit and they swapped in a few new dolls. This does mean that they also axed a few, but they've been running sales on those both on site and on Amazon, so if you've missed one, you might keep an eye out. Actually, keep that in mind but they're also on sale right now and it's a pretty easy way to see which dolls got the axe and which got to make the jump. We're gonna concentrate on the newbies or else I'll get lost down a rabbit hole. Again.

( We've got collabs, Belle, new TM stuff, and lord knows what else to cover. )

I think that mostly catches up. I'm considering it done, though I know I missed a few of the CA was on fire/AG does collabs outside the company things. Gotta draw the line somewhere.

Sooooooo... AG's collab's continue, only now it's with Clueless for the 30th anniversary. Cher and Dionne invite you in.
( Don't take a shot each time you read/think As If. )

Widget's playlist this morning is most interesting. We started with the Beach Boys & Wouldn't It Be Nice, went to Gotye's Somebody That I Used To Know, and have transitioned to Tom Petty's Mary Jane's Last Dance.

Sometimes you just have to catalog the small things. To keep with the theme, Mums was singing along to Wedding Bell Blues, and when she hated whatever came next, I got to sing along to Runaway Train.

This has been your musical morning notation.

Let's catch up, shall we? Over the weekend I got to cross off "pool of blood INSIDE the store" off my unwanted bucket list because some 18 year old dude got into a bicycle accident, then possibly drove himself to the drugstore instead of the ER that is like, three doors down, and tried to bleed out via his foot on our carpet. None of the higher ups answered the call, again, so A's solution was to pour enough peroxide on the bloody pools to make a bloody foamy mess that I literally could not look at for too long without wanting to hurl. I made the mistake of watching (by accident) when she poured the second bottle on the second puddle and seeing the foam go flying was just confirmation that I could never be a nurse.

That and seeing, for approximately half a second, the pool of blood coming outta the kid while A was outside calling 911, again.

( Side note... )

Sadly, the person I thought might actually have insight into what should be done either overslept or just straight up didn't show by the time I had to leave. Sigh.


In better news, I went and got my permit yesterday. Again. Whatever. I'm still not looking forward to having to do the actual skills test, but I figured I should go ahead and get the written out of the way. Had I fully realized that yes, having had my permit before (and being ye olden age) would've meant I could skip the excessive (not really) waiting time for the skills test, I would've done this prior to the heatwave time. Probably. Maybe. Dunno, actually. Anyway, going to the DMV was about as fun as you'd expect. Lots of people, very loud, and a lot of waiting. Overall wait 15 minutes my ass. I should've cleaned my glasses while waiting but since I was juggling my purse, my paperwork, and my book that held my "maybe I can get my RealID?" stuff, I didn't really have the hands for it. Passed the vision test, got sent to the testing room where I was told absolutely NO TALKING and no cheating. Cool.

The dude who was in there nearly the entire time I was waiting was still in there and dude was talking to himself the whole damn time. Naturally my station was right next to him. Part of me wanted to say something after, but I'm also fairly certain he had to repeat the things to himself so he could figure out the answers. So... I didn't say shit, but did have to eventually skip questions that were obviously worded as traps because he was distracting as fuck. Hit my magical number of "yay, you passed!" questions, left the fishbowl of distractions, and went to pay even more fees. Yay. This is where I was asked if I was gonna take the skills test soon because if I got my physical card, I had to wait 31 days to take the skills test. I think. Seriously, this station was right under one of the speakers blaring out the numbers being served, and the lady was very nice but made me seem loud. I went ahead and got my ID made same day, which meant going to wait in the camera line and then getting the Wednesday Addams smile treatment. As in, I tried to smile for my ID unlike last time (where I looked very much like a dour version of my dad) annnnnnnnnd they had to redo it with my glasses off. It is a terrible photo and I loathe it, but I figure maybe that'll help me not drag my feet as much about getting the actual license?

Not gonna stress about that now. To celebrate, first I hit the Dollar Tree where I was trying to get a new laundry basket (success, though they only had the same white and grey as before), and a new garden flag holder. Failure on that one. Sigh. Grabbed a couple of drink mixes for mom and headed out to Michaels to see their early Halloween/Summerween stuff.

I ran into someone who also seemed to be in Halloween heaven and I debated buying some of the cute but def overpriced stuff, but wanted to hold out incase TJ Maxx had any of the Summerween stuff I'd seen online. Spoiler: they only kinda did. They had exactly one very sparse display that filled me with joy but almost everything on it was a candle or kitchen towels and I needed neither. The line was also wrapped through the queue three times so I didn't feel like standing there just to be possibly told that my gift card didn't work. So... I went outside where I almost immediately melted because that heatwave is no fucking joke. Jesus. I couldn't even stand in the shade while I tried to figure out where Mums was parked because there were some people canvasing the area and I didn't want to get roped into whatever weird thing they were trying to recruit people for. Instead I chose to wander around the parking lot, at noon, wearing all black (well, Rainbow Brite was on my shirt), trying to pick our car out of a sea of very similar cars. It was not my brightest move and Mom didn't answer her phone, and there I would have stayed had she not honked her horn when I started to walk right on by.

Oh, there was a stop at HomeGoods between Michaels and TJ but other than a cute crab I couldn't get a picture of because some lady wouldn't get the fuck outta the way and I didn't feel like fighting her over it since I didn't want to buy the crab, it didn't really have anything I wanted. They did have a cute Stitch and Scrump mug and a Queer all Year purple mug, but again, not worth the line.

Came home, cooled down, got some lunch, seethed again over Michaels putting locks on their doors (it's why I ultimately didn't buy anything. I got annoyed even if I do understand why they probably did it. But maybe have a sign at the hallway entrance that says you need an associate now?), and vegged out through Bob's Burgers and The Great North, which I gather is likely on its last season? Booooooooo, Fox. Booooooooo.

AC got fixed Thursday afternoon. I woke up sometime after when the cat launched herself at me and I remember snuggling back into bed because for the first time in a week it was legitimately comfortable in my room instead of just close enough. ♥ The downside of course was that I went from pretty much springing from my bed when my alarm went off because work has AC to dragging my feet because bed is comfy, dammit.

I am not loving this lack of AC shit, mmkay? I didn't love being woken up this morning when it FINALLY felt cool in my room for the first time since last Thursday by the one two punch of Widget making cleaning noises and then Cass calling to basically tell me we were still in a holding pattern for the great cell-switcharoo (more on that in a sec) and not catching the hint when I tried to point out that my room was finally livable but the absolute second I moved out of that ONE spot, I would immediately burst into flames.

It wasn't quite that bad but it was close.

I spent the day at home in the hopes that we'd hear something from the AC people or the landlords and neither happened. Hell, I was also waiting on the cell-switcharoo and it turns out we didn't even need the SIM cards that should've been here last Friday but weren't even shipped til Friday or Saturday (and it's a good thing because apparently they expire and the ones that showed up expired in April), so that was...fun.


It's hot, I'm miserable, and at 3am it shouldn't be 80-something inside and out. I'm tempted to go back outside and see if I can call the rain because holy fuck, I hate this. It's hotter now than it was before midnight. The fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.


Also, I started watching Yellowjackets and between the heat and the show, I may never eat again. Not smart, self.

But what's even better is that this afternoon I told myself I'd watch something comforting and less traumatic, so I went back to pick up where I left off in Poker Face only for it to be ( spoilers, obviously, but damn, show, wtf. )

I was less traumatized by the fucking plane crash and ensuing gory deaths on Yellowjackets. o_O

I hate feeling icky and not knowing why. Not even sick exactly, just... not well. Like I woke up with a headache, but not the caffeine headache, and I'm not sure if the weather's wonky enough to have prompted it, so... headache of unknown origin. And then other body parts started listing grievances. Which isn't fun because you have to try and decide if food is safe to eat but if you don't eat, you can't take the pain killers to knock out the headache and also what if the problem is just you're hungry and probably also in need of something for that headache? DECISIONS.

So, I eventually went upstairs and grabbed my comfy sweater that I tend to wear only when I feel gross in some way (chenille sweaters make my brain happy which helps with everything else), found a Nutrigrain bar and then tossed back some ibuprofen. Now my brain is down to a dull roar and I've got actual food in the process of being made.

I also read a bit more of the last of the books C loaned me, but our MC is still on the wrong side of 'realism vs what makes a good read in fiction'. Like yes, realizing aliens are real and among us and you're in the presence of one and dear lord, they can do what's basically magic is probably going to actually break one's brain, particularly if that person is very logical to begin with, but my god, man. Get with the program because right now you're really dragging everything down and I need you to be on Artemis Darth Vader's level, or at least on mine.


Most of my wayward mail arrived over the weekend, huzzah, and I meant to take pics but again, spent yesterday feeling blargh and that only got worse. Squishable Baby Mothman stuff is so cute, I need it all. I need one that I can balance on my shoulder or around my neck for weighted goodness, so get on that, guys.

Someone really needs to smack me when I get ideas. Over on playthings, someone brought up An American Girl Anthology, which seems like it's...there. I'll be honest. I totally judge actual books by their covers. A shitty cover is hard for me to look past if I don't know anything about the book (sometimes you hear about a book before you see it, so the cover isn't doing all the work upfront). This, my friends, is a shitty cover. It's not the worst, but it very much screams I am a boring academic work that is going to spend a little too long navel gazing. But! In that same post, that same someone mentioned they went to the book tour (I...wha?) and then went ahead and read a few of the essays and their review thus far sounded interesting. Then someone ELSE mentioned that it's $11.25 with free shipping and um, I bought it. I'd considered, for half a second, buying the hardback when I thought that was the only option but for a much lower price, I'll hope the paperback is good.

Yesterday was a mixed bag. I spent the wee early morning hours devouring A Sorceress Comes to Call, which is really good thus far, but around 6am I started to feel decidedly not great. I still don't know what it was, whether it was nerves about Boa's vet visit or cramps or both, but it was not great. I did FINALLY get some sleep, but only for a couple of hours, and I credit that to the cat coming to bed and basically putting a firm paw on me and telling me to relax, she was there.

When I did get up, I was kinda excited because I remembered Bob's Burgers was supposed to have been back from its very long, no good, very bad (for me) hiatus. Yeah, the ep wasn't up on Hulu. Booooooooo.

So I gathered the cat and away we all went to the vet. She was decidedly not happy, but she didn't scream or do her possessed growl-bark, so there's that. We get there and after some unusual parking choices by Mom (I don't think either of us initially realized the spots right in front were actually parking places), we head in. Huzzah, we immediately are whisked back to one of the rooms to wait. The actual visit itself wasn't too long, and the time spent with any actual person was much shorter. They didn't comment on her weight this time (huzzah!) and basically just told her how cute she was and how pretty. Because she IS. ♥ She got her vaccines and only complained about one. I'm never sure what I'm supposed to ask when they ask, "Do you have any questions?" Like...no? I mean, I did mention at one point that she does eat pollen pods and that's not good, but that's not a question really.

Anyway, I pay and get the cat back in the carrier, which I did huff to myself about since normally the tech or the vet will do this so I don't have to be the bad guy on both ends of the trip, and it seems the least one can do when you've just charged me $200 for two shots and about 6 minutes of face time with a tech (about 1 minute with the vet). Still! Away we go.

Only the car won't start. And it's like, 2:30 in the afternoon in May in the fucking Bible Belt so it's hot. I call my brother and then head back inside with the cat so we can enjoy the AC. (Sidenote: near their thermostat was a sign that said "Are you d___? No? Then no touchie!" or something like that. My brain kept filling in the d word as drunk but it might've been an actual name as that'd make more sense.) It took about half an hour for him to show up, or at least for me to notice, and I stayed inside til Mom came in, hit the bathroom, and then held the door for the cat. I'm not sure whether we need a new battery or what, since the car wouldn't start-start but you could get the air/radio on. I guess we'll see if it starts this morning or not, and go from there, but I didn't have new car battery in my budget. Stormy, whyyyyyyyyyyyy. I had oil change and oil pan replacement in the budget instead.


Sigh. Made it home despite the fact that by 3pm the traffic suuuuuuuuuuuuuucked. BUT! When I settled in with my chips and dip (don't judge), the new Bob's Burgers episode was ready to watch, so there's that.

Alas, I woke up with a caffeine and weather headache and I'm gonna need the weather to stop fucking with my sinuses, dammit.

Oh, and the other bummer was that I went to get Boa's Gotcha polish and at first I thought I was just misremembering the name because when I pulled out the right bottle, it seemed to have pink glitters and I remembered it being a purple glitter bomb. NOPE. It was the right bottle, it's just that the hex glitters have bled/faded to pink. Booooooooooo. I lowkey kind of hate it now, but I'm hoping it either looks better on or that the glitter will continue to bleed/fade to silver. That I can live with. The upside is that in theory I think I have a dupe already but I haven't fished it out to look yet. We'll see if it's suffered a similar fate. It's also not quite the same as wearing the exact same polish. Le sigh.


To end on a happier note, my Olive Ave order arrived and the free gift was a new basecoat they're trying out. So I'm giving it a whirl and we'll see how it goes.