I Just Can't Walk Away

Apologies, but today we break the rule where you don't discuss your dreams. Not your aspirations, but the weird trip your mind took the last time you closed your eyes for too long. :p

But I'll keep it short and not go into all the whats and hows and then this happened kind of stuff. Basically I dreamt about the cutest little girl ever. In the dream, she ran over to me like Widget used to do when he was small, shrieking my name but in kid-speak, and there were hugs and my evil little heart melted completely. Other stuff happened afterwards but the part that really stuck with me was the little girl and who she was supposed to be. Like Widget, she called me Aunty and for a minute I figured that the boy had another kid. But no, this little girl was definitely mixed and since the other part of the dream (with the little kid, whose name was Liv/Olivia, btw) involved flirting with some dude... I presume Liv wasn't a niece of mine through marriage. Which kinda left Cass.
Annnnnnnnnd I'm gonna need the universe to will that adorable chiblet into being because ohmyglob. But it's not like I can just send Cass a text saying hey, I had a dream where you had the cutest little girl ever and I'm gonna need that to happen sooner rather than later, okay? because it's not like she doesn't have kids because she doesn't want them. Sigh. Soooo... 2017, how's about you lend me some of zallia's magic and poof that chiblet into existence. And then years from now I can tell Cass how I knew it would happen and there was this dream and yes.



Shifting gears, of course AG is having a sale the absolute second I figure out that I goofed when plotting bill payment this month. Of course they are. I'd be more upset but even if I hadn't goofed, I still wouldn't have the money. Self, get a second calendar to keep near the computer for bills. Looking on the computer always runs the risk of you being a dumbass again and looking at the wrong month. Oh, the shame. The shame! Seriously, I felt/feel like such an idiot.

Back to AG briefly: new pictures of things appeared but I'm too lazy to upload/share now, so you can hunt around and find them pretty easily or wait til tomorrow when we discuss why Melody ain't gettin' nothin' for Christmas this spring. I will say Rebecca's dress looks 100% better than the prototype that leaked last year.

Once I was told, "If you're not careful, you're going to end up the crazy cat lady." And I couldn't stop my mouth. I tried. But you can't just grab the words and shove them back in, no matter how much you might want to. "But I like cats."

Moving along, I have the start to a fantastic headache. Luckily I have a giant bottle of pain relief, and also I think it's a caffeine withdrawal headache so let's remedy that now, shall we?

I had a dreamhouse. Two, actually. Both actually kind of messed with my head, truth be told. They're both quick, so just scroll on unless you think you were in them or you like cracked out dream retellings.

Last one first. In it, I guess I'd graduated or done something in college and it was a Big Freakin' Deal. And somehow I ended up inviting the Ex to the celebration without actually meaning to. I think the dream placed the blame on Facebook since it's not like I could call him or anything, but maybe I emailed. Don't know. Point is, for whatever reason he actually agreed to come and I remember this moment in the dream, before he showed up, where I was freaking out because I haven't spoken to him in years and not entirely by choice, either. So why in hell would I invite him? Yes, applying earth logic to dreams always works, doesn't it?
   Anyway, he appears and we're sitting in my room on my bed (I lack chairs for the most part) and I'm trying to think of where he's going to sleep and why the hell he doesn't have a hotel room or something because there's no room at this inn... and I start to cry. Because of the way things ended and I was finally going to find out what the hell had happened and why he was too much of a chickenshit to tell me at the time. I was going to get that explination that would probably not make things all better, but at least I would know why and the fact that he'd shown up for this meant it hadn't all been some elaborate lie...

And then my brother woke me up to sign something for my father. I might point out that I had this exact dream twice today. The. Exact. Same. Dream.

The other is from a couple of nights ago, actually. In it, there's a road trip to visit zallia, only I don't think it's supposed to be where she actually lives *now*. I don't know for sure, obviously, but not the point. In the dream, she's in this fairly small town and for awhile the dream is pretty awesome. I don't remember anything about it other than fun was had by all. Then, towards the end she mentions that she hasn't been sleeping well and she thinks it's because of this weird doll she got.

The doll is made of things a doll should never be made of (animals should not be harmed for these things, man.) and the doll is naturally something out of a Supernatural episode. It comes to life, sort of, and this is the least horrific thing about the damn doll. (Do not ask. You do not want to know.) But even that is creep-tastic. I remember what I've learned from TV and we have to find a way to burn the damned thing and it is not exactly willing to go quietly.

The good thing is that sometime, years ago, I managed to learn a trick for my nightmares. It usually works, and I can't explain it, but there's a moment in the dream where I realize it's a dream, or at the very least I become so stubborn that I insist I must be right and I can alter the dream so it doesn't scare the crap out of me. I believe it took living through a hundred repeats of a bomb in a stripmall before I picked up on this, though. So, dream dolly is trying to escape and kill us all (don't they always) and my stubbornness kicks in and... well. Dolly loses. The dream ends with it pouring and us being unsure how to drive home since everyone is shaky as hell and no sleep and... yeah.

Oh, the problem with that trick is that once I invoke that rule as it were, I become incapable of anything not semi-normal in the dream. Oh, sure, I can run through a building and not end up completely winded (not at all likely) but if I was in a world where I'd need telekinesis or something? Screwed.

Okay, who doesn't dream about lesbians, a bus with skylights, witches, vampires, and a big robocop type thing done in the fantastic Barbie pink where the big reveal of the dream is none of those things, but the crazy backstabber who stands at the back of the bus and announces [as pink robocop advances ever so slowly with his fleet of minions behind him] to not!me that for all the moping I was doing about being dumped by some crazy dude who, it turned out, had a girlfriend on the side, he had more than that. He was married. To crazy lady giving the speech. Something about an STD [say wha?] and how the whole impending apocolypse was my fault and I should just go home and cry, but wait, that couldn't happen because she was gonna have big pink smack us down.

And then I pushed her out of the back of the bus and the nonsensical fight sequence began.

Seriously, why do I still remember this dream? Bits of it were awesome. Bits of it terrified me. [I'm sorry, but being on a bus where a zillion birds fly by overhead and keep circling you is not cool. Everyone else enjoyed the hell out of it though.] I can't remember the next thing that went by, which just figures because it was something kind of awesome. And I remember basically behind a friend of mine hiding during the bird thing and feeling like such a jerk while doing so because her sister had just died.

But then tonight? Tonight we top that.

And then some.

In the dream there's some scavenger hunt thing, only... not. Because that's weird. And we're basically let loose on this section of the city and no one really does anything, but everyone has to wear a specific ring type. You can't switch rings, but... later in the dream I end up with my brother's, so it's okay to give yours to someone else, I guess. Who knows. Anyway, about halfway through, everyone's been hounding me to watch this fantastically funny movie and I apparently have time to kill, so I watch it, and there's some bit part played by someone who looks like me. Like, exactly like me [dream me, not me-me] and it's a bit strange, but probably explains why everyone kept bugging me to watch this movie that didn't look interesting in the slightest. But dream me is amused and the movie's at the end and I wander off through the end credits and possibly even the end scene, not really caring what movie!me is going to do, and as I walk through the crowd people keep looking at me. And giggling a bit. But I chalk it up to movie!me and ignore them, although honestly, creepy.

And I get back to my table and everyone wants to know what I thought and I shrug and say it was funny and then I spot other!me. And she's talking about how yeah, normally she wouldn't have done this last scene, but she felt like taking a chance, and hey, movie nudity isn't the same as real nudity, right? And it was an epic scene if ever there was one, right? And everyone else agrees and I stand there, mouth open, and think, "oh. shit!" There's an appearance by the ex thrown in, and that's just fantastic, and then there's this moment with the scavenger hunt and for whatever reason, I've got a blinding headache. So they put these eye drops in my eyes and tell me to keep the box, but not to use anymore until I read the box carefully. I agree and wander around, pretty much blind and a little out of my mind. Which, for a dream, is saying something.

Later I read the box when I can see again and realize dude. They freakin' poisoned me. o_O Someone else asks to use the drops and I tell them sure, if they don't mind possibly dying.

Poison eyedrops. Fantastic.

Okay, it's rare that I have a dream where I'm able to wake up by simply thinking, "Okay, no, I'm done" as I close my eyes, only to open them again as I'm still in my dream, but waking up, too. To celebrate, I'll bore you with the tale of space zombies, Captain Tightpants as Superman, and Lindsay Lohan in what looked an awful lot like SWAT gear.

The dream begins at some megastore. At first I thought it was Toys R Us, backed up by the complaining that "in my day, Barbie took up 3/4 of an aisle and now she's forced to share?" Which isn't totally true. Barbie had a little more than that. But then, as we're set to leave, we notice that the top shelf on the back has old clearance stuff and some new stuff, too. She, who used to be Tracy, but now is someone shorter and with darker hair, offers to pull some of the dolls down for me and demonstrates with one of those grabber things my parents have. I figure what the hell, if they're left out where people can see them, they can, in theory, grab. So she demonstrates on these dolls that are in the freezer. o_O I don't really want a frozen doll [and she is, indeed, covered in ice] but some little girl comes by and wants one without uttering a damn thing about "so cool!" so for lack of puns, I reach up on tippy-toes and snag it for her. When my brunette friend goes to snag a couple of clearance dolls [Claudia Kishi. Oo!] she knocks them down behind the shelf... and then ducks through the freezer and is suddenly outside, and all I'm thinking is "That cannot be good for the food." Okay, I'm also wondering why freeze a doll [Claud wasn't in the frozen food section, btw, this was just how BF was chosing to leave the store to find the place where Claud was] but anyway. BF cannot find the doll and I peek under the rollers [wtf?] that are holding the bottom shelf up, so, really, this food should be rancid] and I point out a doll head and Claud in the distance. BF... is now a dog. Like, an actual dog. Very cute. Very, very weird. She brings Claud to me, but now Claud is just a messed up torso, but BF-dog-form didn't eat her or anything. It's just enough for me to say to hell with this.

I resume the looking at the top shelf and suddenly BF is Cass and we've bypassed the new dolls because I'm not sure they should be sold, but we find this cool book bag/binder combo that I actually really want. It's got Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and two other cartoons [I don't remember the other two. One might've been Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls?] so Cass and I pick out our bags and then her stepfather appears and they talk about how he hasn't heard from her and how he's dyed his hair and something about her brother/his son going out for films and as they do that, Cass points out nifty lipglosses and things, and then she bids him farewell. She walks away as I'm gathering my stuff and then calls out for me to grab this lipgloss-sized/shaped thing of hair color and says that it, an actual lipgloss, and something else are free with the purchase. Score? Sure. So we debate colors and finally gather our stuff, though it takes me a little longer and she's pretty much at checkout, when someone walks by, looking an awful lot like Captain Tightpants, and he's trying to get someone to call a code 911 and the other person is acting like he's insane. Fair enough, all things considered. Cass is waiting and for some reason I go back to where I picked up my stuff and throw everything but the bag back and notice a familiar redhead. I've somehow decided to shriek "Code 911!" and all hell breaks loose. The lights cut and it's now more of the blue light space movies have, and LL is all outfitted in her black SWAT-looking gear and trying to get people to move to the damn exits, which isn't helped by someone announcing over the speakers, "We're gonna crash! Get out, get out, get out!"

Brilliant. It's chaos and people are lost and confused and I just want to get the hell out of there. Captain Tightpants comes running by screaming at people to leave by the most direct way possible, and to demonstrate he runs through a freezer that leads to another aisle, and effectively cuts out having to go around, but before anyone follows, he comes out three doors down and says that exit is... full. So he races to the next and we, like lemmings, follow. Halfway, he starts to fly and I swear, he's now in a Superman outfit. He flies straight into this blip of light and a gazillion people follow. I'm worried I won't be able to find Cass afterwards if I don't go out the same exit she did, so I head towards that one [it's not that far] and then the light dims a little more, but also becomes harsher somehow, and then people come out of the light. Stumbling. Like zombies. Shit. I stop running/floating [damn you, gravity!] and someone behind me points out that if we stagger around, the zombies won't eat us. Fair enough. Only I can't stop floating and the nearest group of zombies notices me, stares right at me with their too blue eyes, and I have time to think, "SHIT!" and then wake myself up.

( Bizarre dreamscape )

So. The banks are closed tomorrow. Which shows how well I keep up with the world at large, eh? Making matters worse is the fact that I am not in possession of my check. You'd think frickin' Walgreens would realize that if the banks are closed tomorrow, they can't very well pay us then and expect anyone to spend part of their check at work. Fools!

Anyway. To distract me from the fact that I am painfully broke right now, I will show you the newest additions to my room. You may thank/blame yellowgrrl. Though the crappy pictures are all my own doing, the spark for the "oooooh, shiny cuteness!" came from her general direction, yes. This is why I should not be allowed to shop online. I buy stuff I don't need but find really, really cute. Dangerous, dudes.


( two more )

Naturally I want about three more. On the other hand, three out of however many exist? Good deal.