Apr. 13th, 2013

impy: tori from jackie's strength video (exactly)
Mums has been watching Charmed (on WE maybe?) at dinner time for the last few weeks. On the one hand, I love Charmed. It was my big fandom. I have probably forgotten more about Charmed than is healthy for most people to know in the first place, and yes, that does sound super weird no matter how you say it.

I thought, a few years ago, that I would be able to rewatch some of the seasons that enraged me at the time, and that with enough time between us I'd be able to handle the little disappointments like a sane, rational adult. I'm not really sure why since I'm not known for my ability to be sane, rational, or adult. But I think it had something to do with taking a huge break from Charmed in general and sometimes distance gives one a perspective that is most needed.

Tonight was the series finale. I missed most of the second half of it, but I made sure to watch Piper beating the shit out of Billie because it was about the only thing that made season eight bearable for me.

 photo PiperpunchingBillie_zps9790279a.gif

This also means that I was there for when the Manor went kaBOOM and Piper flips out over Pheeble dying and doesn't even think to look for Paige until she hears coughing, assumes/hopes it's Paige, finds out it's Billie and attempts to kill her with her own bare hands. When Leo stops that mess, they just leave without once discussing looking for Paige again.
What the everlovingfuck, show. It's been YEARS and this still pisses me off to this day. So much about this show. SO MUCH.

So I wandered off, figuring the spike to my blood pressure should probably be avoided. Wouldn't get out of my head.


Towards the end of Charmed (so, probably around S5 if not earlier), I'd been openly hoping for the anti-Charmed ones to appear in a better form than the dudes who appeared earlier in the series. I wanted evil sisters to go up against my precious Charmed Ones (and Pheeble) because I was tired of the bad guys being horribly written women who were mostly just a first course before the Men Folk appeared to be the bad guys. I know, I know. I wanted a lot from a show that had a lot of problems keeping itself on the air in the first place.

But I was still hopeful.


And then Billie happened. And as soon as she refused to shut up about her sister, I rejoiced (as much as one could since this whole thing was fumbled right from the start) because of course a kid kidnapped by demons and thus raised by them was going to be EVIL. And then she'd sway Billie and BAM. I'd get what I wanted!

Yeah. Not so much. Christy's less evil badass and more brainwashed annoyance, and I could've stood that, I suppose, but it was just... you had a chance to make your big bad, your final big bad, a strong (if damaged) woman and instead she's some puppet for a dude with bad taste in shirts. WHY?

Any affection I might've harbored for Billie (not likely) died when she used Wyatt in their plan to murder his mother. The line, Billie. THE LINE. You crossed it and you crossed it willingly. You do not deserve future!babysitter status. You deserve the asskicking Piper tried to give you.

So when the show ended, I was basically done with it. I missed it when it was good, I might've cried a bit when TS3 disappeared because for all its faults, I loved that little gloom cloud, but I never tried to replace it with another Charmed board (of which there were still many then) because I was done. I loved certain things and people involved, and I would gladly golf-clap if certain people fell off the planet into the abyss. (Brad Kern, always forever looking at you with this sentiment. You fucked up my show so badly that I cannot ever forgive you. And it's been years, so assume this will be true forever.) But I needed time to recover from loving a show so damn much that every time it broke my heart, it broke it in a big way. I simply needed to not care all that much. And I can honestly say that since Charmed ended, I have yet to find a show that I have loved in nearly the same way.

Eventually I'll be able to form a proper and semi-coherent thought about this and you can bet your arse it'll hit the 100 Things. But for now just have my still seething rage over bits of the series finale.

But to temper that rage with something cute: Mums was railing against the not looking for Paige thing too, and how she could've bought it if she'd immediately gone looking for her kids but didn't so... and I argued (sleepily and with it having been damn near 8 years or something since I watched this thing) that as far as she knew they were safe and sound (...yes.) elsewhere and Paige was so obviously NOT, and Mum counters that Wyatt had been there earlier and Widget comes in and his eyes widen and I gather he's been paying attention when Mums watches. Why? Because he says in the most serious voice ever: "Wait, wait. Is Wyatt dead?" In that tone of voice all TV addicts know. He had to know, tell him now. I died on the inside of the cute.
impy: tori from jackie's strength video (feel this way)


Oh, hey. You wanted your heart ripped out of your chest and that in song form? Well, luckily for you, I've got something that I think qualifies as the why you get after a breakup you didn't instigate... and sometimes even for those as well.

How Come You Don't Want Me
I can't say that I'm sorry for getting so ahead of myself
I can't say that I'm sorry for loving you and hating myself
I had nothing to show you
I had nothing to hold you down
It's killing me to walk away

How come you don't want me now?
Why don't you want to wait this out?
How come you always lead me on
Never take my call, hear me out?
Why don't you wanna win me now?
Why don't you want to show me off?
Tell me why you couldn't try
Couldn't try and keep me here

I see you by my house walking with a different girl
I see you by my house talking with a different girl
She's got nothing to show you
She's got nothing to hold you down
You're killing me, walk away

One day soon I won't be the one who waits on you
Some day soon I won't be the one who waits on you



Personally, I believe that if you have never been either physically or emotionally curled up on the floor crying and wondering why don't you love me anymore, you are either the luckiest bastard on the face of the planet or you haven't done something right. This isn't to say that I think this condition should be permanent, nor do I think it has to mean you've fallen in love more than once. You could be the person who got them back and the world is sunshine and rainbows, possibly with a side order of lollipops.


But I think everyone kind of needs that moment of why otherwise you're going to end up saying or doing something that could get you hit with a frying pan and odds are good that jury is going to be filled with people who did get their hearts smashed so they might say that the person who panned you was completely justified. In the right country the jury might pan you if you survived. Y'know, just because.

Random: Shortest song on the album.


I wonder when you feel like an adult and not so much like a kid.

We're a little over halfway done. You may rejoice or weep. Possibly both?

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