(no subject)

Holy crapmuffins.

I'm... 80% done with packing up my room (percentages are completely made up, naturally) and I just realized that for as bad as I'm feeling about having so much crap, I actually have waaaaaaaaaaaaay less than when I moved in. I knew, on some level, that I'd ditched A LOT of stuff, but realizing that when I'm done I won't have boxes outside of my closets unless I choose to? Yeah, that's a big difference. When we moved in, I had so much stuff that my closets were completely full and two corners were also stacked as tall as I am (taller, actually) not to mention random things here and there or downstairs because apparently my initials are too difficult for some people to figure out.

Holy.

Hell.


I'm awesome, I am, I am.

Sadly, my second reaction after awe (and hunger because I've been working non-stop for hours) was the desire to buy shit. :P

are you fucking kidding me

Just once. Just fucking once I would like the universe to simmer the fuck down and get off my back. I'd like something good, or sorta good, to come without a huge price tag afterward.

Last night, about the time I was getting ready to give up on my packing for the night, Widget appears and says he can't sleep. I give him a hug and ask him why and when nothing pops up, I ask if he had any plans today. He says no, so I tell him what the hey, he can stay up if he wants. It's summer and he's got no plans, right? So we look at pictures and he helps me pack and things are good, man.

I go to sleep somewhere around 8am and I should mention the boy hasn't been home all night. I looked at the wrong day on the calendar, so I thought he had work at 9am and figured he did that thing where his ass stays out all night and then decides, "fuck it, just won't go home. Ha!"

A little after noon Mums comes in (keep in mind I haven't been asleep all that long, and half of that was restless anyway) and asks how she should look up the number to the Berkeley County Jail. I ask why, hoping I don't know the answer. Yeah.

So. I get up and look it up and hey, technology is great, you can totally look up current inmates.

My brother is a fucking moron and if you've somehow come across this, Sunshine, I mean every word of this: IDIOT.

The first two charges are dumb enough and those I understand (hey, guess what, this ain't fucking Colorado, dipshit! And also, you can't have an open container of alcohol in the car with you. That shit goes in the trunk and EVERYONE knows this!) but I can't decipher the next two and truthfully, I don't want to because they sound most unpleasant.


He was gone most of last week, I haven't seen him since he's been back, and of course he hasn't paid me the money he owes me. He hasn't even paid people off from his last run in with the law that screwed everyone's finances over so yeah. I'm pissed.


I am so upset that I have cycled through everything and wound up back at "sick."

I just... I hate him. I hate that he's this fucking irresponsible and that he manages to drag everyone else down with him and that he seems to not give a damn about anyone but himself and I think the thing I hate most is the fact that I keep being surprised by his incredible stupidity.

I expect better of him and I don't know why. He's done everything in his power to prove that he's never going to grow up, he's never going to learn even the basics (keep the alcohol in the trunk til you get to your destination!) and clearly the pot has burned away any of his functioning braincells that used to render him more or less intelligent and not just "smart for SC."

I give up.

Consider this the towel officially thrown in. I don't care what happens to his shit when we move but it can't stay here and it can't go to the new place so I hope he's got a plan for it. If not, hello junk yard.