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End of the holiday movie watchathon
Dec. 31st, 2024 03:43 pmBeen keeping a semi-updated list of holiday movies as I slowly make my way through them and today seems like a good day to post the rest. This year's crop wasn't terrible but other than a few standouts, didn't do a lot for me. To be fair, this is the least Christmas-y I've felt in years, and none of this year's movies were so bad that I questioned my own taste, so that's a win.
Friends and Family Christmas
I wanted to like this one more than I did. It had the misfortune of being one I watched when I was thinking I felt better than I actually did and also the name is really dumb, or wasted on this one. I dunno. I adore Ali Liebert and Humberly Gonzalez seemed pretty dang delightful, but the two never really fully clicked. There were moments when their characters seemed on the verge of it but then the plot would yank them back. I will fully admit that the ick might be coloring my perspective here. This thing also felt like the budget was spent strangely, which is odd since I think it was being trotted out as Hallmark's first lesbian romance and you'd think they'd, y'know, pay for that, but it gave me flashbacks to movies you know were filmed as soon as COVID restrictions were limited and things felt... empty?
It felt like this needed one more pass, somewhere, before being released. I did like the parents meddling in trying to get Dani and Amelia together and there was the added bonus of not hating any characters... I just also didn't feel that strongly about any of the supporting cast, which is a bummer. Not terrible, but wanted more. And one day I'll get another Ali Liebert character similar to her Bond Girl's character and then I'll be over the goddamn moon.
As my holiday movie watching winds down, I figured I'd go out with the rest of the Cherry Lane movies. This may have been a mistake.
I gather Cherry Lane was such a hit last year that they decided to spawn three new movies from it this year, and each seems to be anchored by one of the couples from the original movie. Thus far I've watched two, and I have every intention of trying to watch the third tonight/tomorrow.
Season's Greetings from Cherry Lane
We've got our couple from the first year the house was built, Joan and Charlie. I spent almost the entire time Joan was on screen staring at the blonde-blonde going on. Like there's blonde and then there's BLONDE. Anytime Charlie was on screen, I spent the whole time alternating between thinking "he's pretty" to trying to figure out where I'd seen him before. (RIP, Filthy Rich) I do wish the set design went a little deeper for the older time periods because some of this almost scratched the nostalgic itch I had for my childhood (no, I'm not that old, but some of our Christmas stuff growing up was from even before Mums was born, which would put it in that time frame) and some was, well...
Plot wise, Joan and Charlie are dealing with his impending deployment for the Korean War, and Joan's just broken her arm and naturally it's Christmas, so we've got the welcome wagon from the Cherry Lane neighborhood. I mostly liked this slice of the movie, but Charlie/Joan had negative chemistry for the most part.
The 2000's couple, Sarah and Luke, are having their first Christmas on Cherry Lane, and both sets of parents arrive to spend the holidays with the perfect, never disagree newlyweds. Obviously each family has their own traditions and are deadset on doing things THEIR way and Sarah and Luke try to rise above but we need some conflict, so eventually both are sucked into it. Gods above, this section dragged. I feel like I've seen Sarah in something else and didn't think she was a sucking charisma void there, but she is here. She's easily the weakest link in the cast and it is DISTRACTINGLY bad. I think part of this is because for all the problems I might have with this series of movies, the one thing they don't seem to have is the very cardboard meh going through the motions acting that once ran rampant in Hallmark movies. Yeah, uh, she does. It's not helped by both sets of parents being godawful to the degree that I wanted the kids to just kick them the fuck out of their house. I liked Luke well enough but this whole time on Cherry Lane was fucking painful.
Mike and Zian are back, now having adopted the little girl from the previous Christmas, and are both worrying about not being good enough fathers. Zian and Tina have planned to bring back one of Mike's childhood traditions as a surprise and in return Mike has tracked down Zian's bio grandfather and invited him to spend the holidays in the States with them. Not exactly an equal gift but eh. The tradition is basically making a wreath out of holiday cards and lights and it's cute, and also the secondary uniting theme between the timelines, as Mike's dad got the idea from Sarah and Luke doing it after finding a long delayed card from Charlie to Joan. It's cute enough, honestly, though it definitely feels like a reach.
Quinn's back to be the bumbling comedic relief and it's probably my least favorite part of the current timeline. Dial it back, dude. For whatever reason they've invited you into the family. Mike and Zian are the couple with the best chemistry and the fact that the Candace Cameron Bure side of holiday movies has been twitching over the gay invasion of Hallmark helps make this better. Mostly because I enjoy horrible people suffering in small ways.
Overall, it was cute and helped me make my Christmas cookies. Would watch more of 2/3 couples.
Happy Holidays from Cherry Lane is anchored by Regina and Nelson from the 1999 section of the first movie. We roll back a year to 1998 and learn how they met, and once more I am left in awe of how Catherine Bell went from JAG where she managed to have some grit and substance to um... not? It's weird. Regina (her character) is miles ahead of the Good Witch's Cassie, in that I think that Regina could and would throw the fuck down, but it's hard to describe. Maybe the best way is that it feels like she has an acting style for Hallmark and I yearn for more. I'm not entirely sure how we get from "Cherry Lane is so magical that it manages to hook Regina and Nelson up despite the odds" to "now let's move to Florida!" for the original movie but here we are. Nelson and Regina are cute enough and I imagine some part of the Hallmark fandom must love Bell and Denton playing another couple since even I find it a cute nod. Ivy and Hector both continue to feel like they're not quite in the same movie as everyone else, but they do feel connected to each other so I'll allow it.
Then we've got the 2015 story, with Jessie's younger sister, Beth, wanting to get married in Jessie's backyard when her wedding venue gets shut down by the IRS. Turns out that Beth's pastor, Tim, is Jessie's old boyfriend who broke her heart right before she left for college, and we bounce back and forth from Jessie freaking out about having to spend time with him and having to manage her sister's INSANE expectations for a holiday wedding where almost all the stuff is locked in a wedding venue they don't have access to, so Beth and Max seem content to just... rebuy all this shit? God, this section is the worst. I don't like Beth and apparently neither did the makeup department as her face is frequently yellow while her neck is pink (it's giving a toned down version of Hilda from Netflix's Sabrina, which was infamously bad in the makeup department) and oh my god, just stopppppppppppp. Not helped by Jessie's wispy bangs and the odd teetering on religious/not religious with Pastor Tim. Also also, if you're just gonna break into the venue to rescue the dress, why not grab the other shit too?
Back in 1960, we've got Penny and Eli dealing with Eli's father, Walter, staying with them for the holidays after he's broken a hip. After the death of his wife, his relationship with Eli has been strained to say the least. Eli is a writer and a dreamer while Walter is an engineer and practical. Anytime Alex, Eli's son, asks a question for his Christmas time capsule (the unifying theme of the movie, as the box is found in '99 and is referenced in '15), Walter gives a most unsatisfying answer and Eli grinds his teeth into dust. Penny does her best to do hair and give advice and eventually realizes that if she waits for Eli and Walter to find common ground on their own, said common ground will be in a cemetery. Aside from the styling doing Penny's hair no real favors (oh, the irony), this was my favorite time period for this go round. I liked that the stakes weren't romantic and instead we were dealing with two men who just couldn't see past their own hurt to realize the depth of the other's pain, or how they were adding to that.
Overall, this is the weakest of the Cherry Lane movies thus far, but not terrible.
Deck the Halls on Cherry Lane probably had the most solid of this year's lineup in that I didn't hate any of the time periods, though I didn't love the 2000's one as much. Mostly because when the male love interest appeared I deadass thought he was her brother. o_O
2000's time period is Bex and Matty, who are lifelong best friends where he's clearly figured out he wants more and she's totally ignorant of this fact. He shows up her first year in her new house to keep her company and to try and get her to experience life instead of just all work and no play. This is basically just an excuse to meet the various other characters on Cherry Lane who will pop up in other time periods because that's what this series is about.
1981 brings is back to John and Lizzie from the original movie (they were the 70's couple) and I still think they're fab together and hate that so much of their time is spent apart because he's considering taking a job that'll move the family to Michigan (and we already know he takes it because 7 Cherry Lane has a revolving door up until Regina and the kids move in and stay for a good 20-ish years) and she's still figuring out how to tell him she's pregnant with kid #2. Kid!Ivy leans a little heavy on the child actor "look at me acting!" thing but is fine and I didn't dislike the couple spending the holidays with them whose names I don't recall. Probably my favorite of the trio, but mostly because I like John and Lizzie.
1966 brings David and Stephanie and the wackiest of the plots. Stephanie wins a contest to have Tommy SomethingOrOther, a big TV deal, show up and broadcast from her home live on Christmas Eve. Only problem is she used 7 Cherry Lane as her address because at the time she had permission from Eli and Penny, who have since moved. David, our scientist working on satellite tracking/GPS, is super not interested in doing more than two steps above the bare minimum, and shoots Stephanie down when she begs him to let her just...host the thing at his house. Luckily for Steph, his best friend and coworker convinces him that their boss loves Tommy Whatshisname and that if he manages to introduce the two, their jobs will likely be safe even if they can't figure out the science in time. Hijinks ensue, the trio is cute as hell, and of course David and Steph fall in love.
We learn that Tommy WhatsHisName is the singer for Ivy's favorite Christmas record and is Bex's father. If you're the type who needs to hear the big song they make a big deal about in the movie, we do get Tommy performing it.
This one has two issues that come to mind though. One, I swear Bex is using a cellphone totally unlike what would've been available at the time. Two, there's a video of the episode of Tommy's show on Cherry Lane online. It's 2000. Even assuming Bex is wired for business, it'd still take awhile to find the damn thing and watch it. It's a minor nitpick but there.
Sugarplummed was a goddamn delight, as it definitely pokes fun of the Hallmark holiday movies but doesn't shit on them too hard. It also actually felt like it had a budget and was lit like an actual movie, huzzah. I will admit I'm totally biased here though because I adore Maggie Lawson and Janel Parrish and thought they worked really well together. Didn't adore Emily's husband but y'know, he wasn't the point. I'd buy a copy of The Rules if it wasn't a billion bucks just because it cracked me up.
If you actually wanted a synopsis: Emily's got a holiday checklist left by her mother and every year she tries and fails to craft the perfect Christmas in tribute to her mom. She desperately wants her family (two teen kids, one workaholic husband) to connect, but work and the universe have other ideas. We learn she loves holiday movies but also resents them for being too perfect (same, girl, same) and the Definitely!Not!Hallmark Channel's Sugarplum movies are the best and worst example of this. After making a wish on an ornament, Sugarplum is plucked from her movieverse and thrust into Emily's reality and things go about as well as you'd expect.
Initially, Sugarplum's Holiday Rules work... but there's a moment where I was reminded of Charmed's rule for personal gain annnnnnd the rules begin to backfire in massive ways. Emily and Sugarplum (Sue Garplum) are now in a race to fix Emily's life, get the family on the same page, and get Sugarplum back home before the holiday magic disappears.
It's fluffy and silly and doesn't take itself too seriously and still manages to have the best of both worlds for a holiday movie, between the "that's not how any of this works!" to the wonder of what it would be like if holiday movie magic were real.
LoveHard is the only holiday movie I liked better this year and I would maim for a sequel.
Friends and Family Christmas
I wanted to like this one more than I did. It had the misfortune of being one I watched when I was thinking I felt better than I actually did and also the name is really dumb, or wasted on this one. I dunno. I adore Ali Liebert and Humberly Gonzalez seemed pretty dang delightful, but the two never really fully clicked. There were moments when their characters seemed on the verge of it but then the plot would yank them back. I will fully admit that the ick might be coloring my perspective here. This thing also felt like the budget was spent strangely, which is odd since I think it was being trotted out as Hallmark's first lesbian romance and you'd think they'd, y'know, pay for that, but it gave me flashbacks to movies you know were filmed as soon as COVID restrictions were limited and things felt... empty?
It felt like this needed one more pass, somewhere, before being released. I did like the parents meddling in trying to get Dani and Amelia together and there was the added bonus of not hating any characters... I just also didn't feel that strongly about any of the supporting cast, which is a bummer. Not terrible, but wanted more. And one day I'll get another Ali Liebert character similar to her Bond Girl's character and then I'll be over the goddamn moon.
As my holiday movie watching winds down, I figured I'd go out with the rest of the Cherry Lane movies. This may have been a mistake.
I gather Cherry Lane was such a hit last year that they decided to spawn three new movies from it this year, and each seems to be anchored by one of the couples from the original movie. Thus far I've watched two, and I have every intention of trying to watch the third tonight/tomorrow.
Season's Greetings from Cherry Lane
We've got our couple from the first year the house was built, Joan and Charlie. I spent almost the entire time Joan was on screen staring at the blonde-blonde going on. Like there's blonde and then there's BLONDE. Anytime Charlie was on screen, I spent the whole time alternating between thinking "he's pretty" to trying to figure out where I'd seen him before. (RIP, Filthy Rich) I do wish the set design went a little deeper for the older time periods because some of this almost scratched the nostalgic itch I had for my childhood (no, I'm not that old, but some of our Christmas stuff growing up was from even before Mums was born, which would put it in that time frame) and some was, well...
Plot wise, Joan and Charlie are dealing with his impending deployment for the Korean War, and Joan's just broken her arm and naturally it's Christmas, so we've got the welcome wagon from the Cherry Lane neighborhood. I mostly liked this slice of the movie, but Charlie/Joan had negative chemistry for the most part.
The 2000's couple, Sarah and Luke, are having their first Christmas on Cherry Lane, and both sets of parents arrive to spend the holidays with the perfect, never disagree newlyweds. Obviously each family has their own traditions and are deadset on doing things THEIR way and Sarah and Luke try to rise above but we need some conflict, so eventually both are sucked into it. Gods above, this section dragged. I feel like I've seen Sarah in something else and didn't think she was a sucking charisma void there, but she is here. She's easily the weakest link in the cast and it is DISTRACTINGLY bad. I think part of this is because for all the problems I might have with this series of movies, the one thing they don't seem to have is the very cardboard meh going through the motions acting that once ran rampant in Hallmark movies. Yeah, uh, she does. It's not helped by both sets of parents being godawful to the degree that I wanted the kids to just kick them the fuck out of their house. I liked Luke well enough but this whole time on Cherry Lane was fucking painful.
Mike and Zian are back, now having adopted the little girl from the previous Christmas, and are both worrying about not being good enough fathers. Zian and Tina have planned to bring back one of Mike's childhood traditions as a surprise and in return Mike has tracked down Zian's bio grandfather and invited him to spend the holidays in the States with them. Not exactly an equal gift but eh. The tradition is basically making a wreath out of holiday cards and lights and it's cute, and also the secondary uniting theme between the timelines, as Mike's dad got the idea from Sarah and Luke doing it after finding a long delayed card from Charlie to Joan. It's cute enough, honestly, though it definitely feels like a reach.
Quinn's back to be the bumbling comedic relief and it's probably my least favorite part of the current timeline. Dial it back, dude. For whatever reason they've invited you into the family. Mike and Zian are the couple with the best chemistry and the fact that the Candace Cameron Bure side of holiday movies has been twitching over the gay invasion of Hallmark helps make this better. Mostly because I enjoy horrible people suffering in small ways.
Overall, it was cute and helped me make my Christmas cookies. Would watch more of 2/3 couples.
Happy Holidays from Cherry Lane is anchored by Regina and Nelson from the 1999 section of the first movie. We roll back a year to 1998 and learn how they met, and once more I am left in awe of how Catherine Bell went from JAG where she managed to have some grit and substance to um... not? It's weird. Regina (her character) is miles ahead of the Good Witch's Cassie, in that I think that Regina could and would throw the fuck down, but it's hard to describe. Maybe the best way is that it feels like she has an acting style for Hallmark and I yearn for more. I'm not entirely sure how we get from "Cherry Lane is so magical that it manages to hook Regina and Nelson up despite the odds" to "now let's move to Florida!" for the original movie but here we are. Nelson and Regina are cute enough and I imagine some part of the Hallmark fandom must love Bell and Denton playing another couple since even I find it a cute nod. Ivy and Hector both continue to feel like they're not quite in the same movie as everyone else, but they do feel connected to each other so I'll allow it.
Then we've got the 2015 story, with Jessie's younger sister, Beth, wanting to get married in Jessie's backyard when her wedding venue gets shut down by the IRS. Turns out that Beth's pastor, Tim, is Jessie's old boyfriend who broke her heart right before she left for college, and we bounce back and forth from Jessie freaking out about having to spend time with him and having to manage her sister's INSANE expectations for a holiday wedding where almost all the stuff is locked in a wedding venue they don't have access to, so Beth and Max seem content to just... rebuy all this shit? God, this section is the worst. I don't like Beth and apparently neither did the makeup department as her face is frequently yellow while her neck is pink (it's giving a toned down version of Hilda from Netflix's Sabrina, which was infamously bad in the makeup department) and oh my god, just stopppppppppppp. Not helped by Jessie's wispy bangs and the odd teetering on religious/not religious with Pastor Tim. Also also, if you're just gonna break into the venue to rescue the dress, why not grab the other shit too?
Back in 1960, we've got Penny and Eli dealing with Eli's father, Walter, staying with them for the holidays after he's broken a hip. After the death of his wife, his relationship with Eli has been strained to say the least. Eli is a writer and a dreamer while Walter is an engineer and practical. Anytime Alex, Eli's son, asks a question for his Christmas time capsule (the unifying theme of the movie, as the box is found in '99 and is referenced in '15), Walter gives a most unsatisfying answer and Eli grinds his teeth into dust. Penny does her best to do hair and give advice and eventually realizes that if she waits for Eli and Walter to find common ground on their own, said common ground will be in a cemetery. Aside from the styling doing Penny's hair no real favors (oh, the irony), this was my favorite time period for this go round. I liked that the stakes weren't romantic and instead we were dealing with two men who just couldn't see past their own hurt to realize the depth of the other's pain, or how they were adding to that.
Overall, this is the weakest of the Cherry Lane movies thus far, but not terrible.
Deck the Halls on Cherry Lane probably had the most solid of this year's lineup in that I didn't hate any of the time periods, though I didn't love the 2000's one as much. Mostly because when the male love interest appeared I deadass thought he was her brother. o_O
2000's time period is Bex and Matty, who are lifelong best friends where he's clearly figured out he wants more and she's totally ignorant of this fact. He shows up her first year in her new house to keep her company and to try and get her to experience life instead of just all work and no play. This is basically just an excuse to meet the various other characters on Cherry Lane who will pop up in other time periods because that's what this series is about.
1981 brings is back to John and Lizzie from the original movie (they were the 70's couple) and I still think they're fab together and hate that so much of their time is spent apart because he's considering taking a job that'll move the family to Michigan (and we already know he takes it because 7 Cherry Lane has a revolving door up until Regina and the kids move in and stay for a good 20-ish years) and she's still figuring out how to tell him she's pregnant with kid #2. Kid!Ivy leans a little heavy on the child actor "look at me acting!" thing but is fine and I didn't dislike the couple spending the holidays with them whose names I don't recall. Probably my favorite of the trio, but mostly because I like John and Lizzie.
1966 brings David and Stephanie and the wackiest of the plots. Stephanie wins a contest to have Tommy SomethingOrOther, a big TV deal, show up and broadcast from her home live on Christmas Eve. Only problem is she used 7 Cherry Lane as her address because at the time she had permission from Eli and Penny, who have since moved. David, our scientist working on satellite tracking/GPS, is super not interested in doing more than two steps above the bare minimum, and shoots Stephanie down when she begs him to let her just...host the thing at his house. Luckily for Steph, his best friend and coworker convinces him that their boss loves Tommy Whatshisname and that if he manages to introduce the two, their jobs will likely be safe even if they can't figure out the science in time. Hijinks ensue, the trio is cute as hell, and of course David and Steph fall in love.
We learn that Tommy WhatsHisName is the singer for Ivy's favorite Christmas record and is Bex's father. If you're the type who needs to hear the big song they make a big deal about in the movie, we do get Tommy performing it.
This one has two issues that come to mind though. One, I swear Bex is using a cellphone totally unlike what would've been available at the time. Two, there's a video of the episode of Tommy's show on Cherry Lane online. It's 2000. Even assuming Bex is wired for business, it'd still take awhile to find the damn thing and watch it. It's a minor nitpick but there.
Sugarplummed was a goddamn delight, as it definitely pokes fun of the Hallmark holiday movies but doesn't shit on them too hard. It also actually felt like it had a budget and was lit like an actual movie, huzzah. I will admit I'm totally biased here though because I adore Maggie Lawson and Janel Parrish and thought they worked really well together. Didn't adore Emily's husband but y'know, he wasn't the point. I'd buy a copy of The Rules if it wasn't a billion bucks just because it cracked me up.
If you actually wanted a synopsis: Emily's got a holiday checklist left by her mother and every year she tries and fails to craft the perfect Christmas in tribute to her mom. She desperately wants her family (two teen kids, one workaholic husband) to connect, but work and the universe have other ideas. We learn she loves holiday movies but also resents them for being too perfect (same, girl, same) and the Definitely!Not!Hallmark Channel's Sugarplum movies are the best and worst example of this. After making a wish on an ornament, Sugarplum is plucked from her movieverse and thrust into Emily's reality and things go about as well as you'd expect.
Initially, Sugarplum's Holiday Rules work... but there's a moment where I was reminded of Charmed's rule for personal gain annnnnnd the rules begin to backfire in massive ways. Emily and Sugarplum (Sue Garplum) are now in a race to fix Emily's life, get the family on the same page, and get Sugarplum back home before the holiday magic disappears.
It's fluffy and silly and doesn't take itself too seriously and still manages to have the best of both worlds for a holiday movie, between the "that's not how any of this works!" to the wonder of what it would be like if holiday movie magic were real.
LoveHard is the only holiday movie I liked better this year and I would maim for a sequel.
