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impyThank You For Not Morphing is probably the single biggest retconned episode in the Charmed continuity and given how fast and loose they play with continuity, that's saying something. It's where we finally meet the infamous Victor (he goes by Halliwell here but when he pops back up later he'll be Victor Bennet) and learn whether he's worth all the anger Prue has towards him. (Spoiler: yes and no.) It's impossible for me to separate this episode from all the Victor episodes that come later, so you're warned for spoilers for allllllllll kinds of stuff. Sorry.
Oh, and this episode marks the first appearance of Leo Wyatt.
We begin with the Halliwell sisters leaving their house to go to the house party literally across the street. Their new neighbors Fritz, Marshall, and uh... oh, the wikia tells me her name really is Cynda. That's... a choice. Anyway, Fritz, Marshall, and Cynda are throwing a party and it seems they've befriended the Halliwells and there's a semi decent dynamic going on there, even if Cynda's actress is a bit much. It's interesting to note how friendships are mentioned and handled now versus how they'll appear later on, but it makes sense. They've only just discovered they're witches and their previous lives would have featured friends pretty heavily given they're all in their 20's. But as the seasons tick by, we see almost no friends and when we do, it feels super weird because they're never mentioned in passing. The witchcraft definitely took a bite out of their social lives and it's something I hope the reboot manages to balance should it continue.
So. Party. Prue's ready to ditch after saying hello and Piper and Phoebe get all squirrelly when she tries. Turns out that Phoebe invited Andy to the party because Prue was taking too long to properly rekindle this relationship. It's cute and so is Piper's dress and basically the sisters and Andy portions of this scene work really well for me. I also randomly remember Fritz pestering Andy about his parking tickets and it still makes me snicker years later.
While Andy is distracted, Prue makes her escape only to find the Manor's door is ajar. She's momentarily freaked out and then decides Phoebe must be the guilty party. She's even less thrilled when she gets inside and finds Cujo waiting for her. The dog barks and chases Prue out of the house and just before the credits roll, its eyes glow and we know it's not a normal dog. Also, we saw the dog earlier as the sisters went to the party so it stands to reason even without the glowy eyes, it's not normal.
Prue reads Phoebe the riot act about the door and in return Phoebe locks Prue out and it's cute and I'm dead.
At Buckland's, a mysterious dude appears in Prue's office and asks her to appraise his ring. She tries to send him to someone more qualified but he insists. So she takes a look at the ring:
(it's kinda hideous)
And as she starts cataloging its attributes and where it might've come from, she gets both very into her work and also very, very suspicious. She asks where he got the ring and also what was his name again? He tells her that she knows his name and then calls her Prudence. She tells him to get the hell out (paraphrasing) and he says that's no way to speak to her father.
This part has always been a little weird for me since Prue is the daughter who does remember him but she doesn't recognize him at all. The video we'll see at the end kind of makes it seem like maybe the lack of 70's facial hair might've thrown her, but that's not the time frame where your looks change so drastically that no one would ever be able to ID you. Victor and Patty were not teen parents, mmkay? But they needed the ~dramatic~ reveal so whatever. Daddy leaves with an invitation to dinner for all three girls later.
And I'm not great with staying with the linear recap so I might jump around. Shocking, I know.
Prue tells Piper and Phoebe about Victor being back and if you pay attention, you'll realize she only ever calls him Victor while Piper and Phoebe both call him Dad. Prue thinks it's a bad idea to go and she's suspicious that maybe he's only back in their lives because he knows they're witches. Phoebe and Piper don't want to hear this and are both sure that Prue's just being her usual sour self where their father is concerned.
Except when Phoebe goes to visit him before dinner he has no idea which daughter she is. He assumes Piper and Phoebe lies and tells him that people are forever confusing them (like hell) and even Victor has enough good sense to realize how wrong that is. When they hug, Phoebe gets a premonition of Victor holding the BoS.
We see the mailman appear and magically shift his finger into a key that he uses to open the locked Manor door. GASP. He cheerfully runs upstairs and then kicks down the door to the attic, grabs the Book of Shadows, and practically skips down the stairs on his way to the door. As he crosses the threshold, the book magically flies out of his grasp and no matter how he tries, he can't get the book out of the house. As he's struggling, Prue comes home, so he dashes back inside and shifts into Andy. Prue is irked that the door was unlocked, AGAIN, but rushes Andy out when she spots the BoS on the floor. She does agree to his earlier date invite but since this isn't Andy that should be awkward later.
Only it's not, because while Piper and Phoebe are at dinner with Victor, Prue is at home nuking a meal. Andy drops by and while she glares at him, she also lets him in and not a word is said about the date that wasn't. She does, however, fill him in on her father being back and he's almost as cautious as Prue. There's a cute memory about how they missed their prom and then Andy drives Prue to the dinner so she can tell her father all the things she just told Andy.
Prue crashes dinner and then Piper freezes the restaurant to avert a flambe disaster. Victor isn't even phased a little by Piper magically appearing before him bearing a flaming desert and immediately ticks off their powers one by one. Daddy knows!
Yay?
Back at the Manor, the mail man appears again and Piper and Phoebe freak out. Only not because of course, they're Fritz, Cynda, and Marshall. They shape shift into crows (ravens?) and fly out of the house when the Halliwells return home seconds later. Dad gets a look on his face and asks, "Friends of yours?"
Phoebe is thrilled to be able to discuss her powers with someone other than her sisters and even when everyone else is kind of cringing, Phoebe's still gushing about how awesome it all is. Prue is less than pleased and then things go from bad to worse when Victor asks about the BoS. Even Piper is thrown because his timing is so off.
Prue is triumphant, sure that she's right, and she goes off about how him coming back and immediately ask about the freakin' book. Phoebe's still willing to cut him some slack and things snowball very quickly. Victor says he did come back because they're witches and he does want the book, but not for the reasons they think. He never wanted them to be witches and wants to destroy the book for their safety. He implies that Grams cast a spell that kept him away all these years and Piper goes OFF because Grams raised them and how dare he?
It's been awhile, but I'm pretty sure this is one of the only things they don't retcon. Grams really did cast a spell to keep him away. Thing is, this Victor could've found someone to get around it because he's shown to be wickedly smart. I'll come back to that though.
Anyway, Prue gets good and ticked when even Phoebe's mad at Victor and she uses her powers to slam him into a doorway. He gets up, unhurt, says if she wanted him to leave all she had to do was ask, and the way this line is delivered makes Victor such a jackass and I adore it and hate it at the same time. Phoebe and Piper are both appalled at Prue's use of magical force and the three sisters scatter.
Three for three in terms of episodes where Piper just wants to be normal.
Next we see of Victor, he's in his hotel room with the trio of shape shifting idiots who are clearly planning to kill him and assume his identity to trick the girls out of the book. This is where Victor really shines. He calmly lights his cigar and informs them ever so nonchalantly why this plan will never work. After his disastrous meeting with his daughters, they won't let him or anyone who looks like him anywhere near the house, let alone the book... but he knows Phoebe is still the way back in. Cynda asks why she can't just kill him and be done with it and Victor points out that only he knows which buttons to push when it comes to earning her trust back.
This is hysterical considering he left Phoebe when she was 1, but Cynda and co don't know that. He's just sitting there, smoking away as if he hadn't a care in the world as three shape shifters debate whether or not to murder him. God, I love this version of Victor.
I'm going to rant here so you're warned. Victor Bennet will appear later and he'll be all nicey nice and wimpy and I get that they had to soften his edges to make viewers not throw things at their TVs but sweet baby Jesus, he's also an idiot. This Victor knows all about their powers and the Book and he can spot a shape shifter without any hard evidence AND talk his way out of danger without breaking a sweat. You can see glimpses of Phoebe and Prue in him and it works so very, very well. VB? Yeah, no. Even when attempting badassery, he's still too nice and it doesn't work for me. I know that one should be flexible when it comes to first season setups but dude, Victor does not end on a great note and yet we're all supposed to forgive him when he returns in S3? No. It rings hollow and I hate it.
So. Back to the Manor. The next morning Phoebe walks in on Piper and Prue sitting side by side at the table but facing away from each other and picking sullenly at their food. She waves a napkin in surrender and asks for a truce before letting them know about her premonition about Victor stealing the book. She admits that she knew he was up to something but wanted so desperately to have her father in her life that she looked the other way and it's very sweet and rings true for Phoebe. Prue hugs her and all is forgiven. Piper notices Victor's ring on the ground and keep that in mind for later.
Phoebe heads out to get the paper and sees Fritz and Marshall across the street just before Victor appears. She tries to get away but he pleads with her to just see, and then he somehow forces her back to her vision only this time it's extended so she can see that it's not Victor stealing the book at all. It's Marshall and Fritz and Cynda out to get them! Gasp! Seriously, how did Victor pull this off? See? Smart! Sneaky! He let Phoebe know what she needed to know without letting the idiotic three see a thing. Phoebe runs inside and tries to tell Prue what's going on but then Piper appears with Cynda who made cookies! Phoebe gets a panicked look in her eye but continues upstairs to the attic where the book magically helps her find the right page for the spell the vanquish the trio... and anyone else in the house who isn't a Charmed One.
She runs back downstairs just as Victor appears... twice. Two Dads! Piper's not having it and Prue's ready to unleash the spell.
Phoebe tells her it'll kill everyone who isn't them and the Victors begin to try and convince the girls that they're the real Victor. Finally the real Victor tells them to just destroy them both and Piper reminds Prue about the ring. She uses her powers to push it towards Victor who looks at her to ask if she really means it. She does and he slips it on and Phoebe starts the spell. Our trio turn to go and go poof and Victor is shaken but not melted. Huzzah?
When we next see our heroines, Prue is chiding Phoebe about borrowing her dress but Phoebe explains she wanted to look nice for their dad. Piper's just happy to have him back for however long while Phoebe admits she no longer has the same romanticized version of him that she used to. Prue's calling him Dad so when the doorbell rings, we should all know it's not Victor.
It's not. It's Leo Wyatt, the handyman. Phoebe makes an immediate play for him but he holds out an envelope and says he found it out front. Turns out Victor isn't coming; he chickened out.
He did leave a video of Christmas, 1975 and we're treated to some cute footage of the girls as little ones and Alyssa Milano playing Patty Halliwell even though you really, really have to know what you're looking for since the video is definitely more focused on Victor. Am I to believe that Penny (Grams) filmed this? Really?
Really?
Seriously though, I always liked the way Victor was introduced and then just as quickly shuffled away. At the time, Ari and Cass were having similar issues with their father. He'd call and talk to Ari, the sister who had no interest in him, but ignore Cass who desperately wanted him to notice her. And it was hard to ignore the similarities between them and the Halliwells and their father. Perhaps this is why I prefer Victor 1, as I don't like his redemption and I don't really see A&C's father as redeemed either. Or maybe it's just that their Dad going out of his way to avoid Phoebe when she went to New York to find him doesn't match up at all with Victor 2, and they would've been in NY at the same time after Grams's death so you can't even use the spell as a reason to keep them apart. Not unless it fell apart the moment they got their powers back, I suppose.
Still, original Victor was crafty and had schemes and you just knew he got his money in something less than strictly legal ways and I enjoyed it. He wasn't evil but he wasn't particularly good. He lived in the grey area in between and it helped shape the show.
And now let me leave you with some cute Piper:
And party tips from Prue.
Oh, and this episode marks the first appearance of Leo Wyatt.
We begin with the Halliwell sisters leaving their house to go to the house party literally across the street. Their new neighbors Fritz, Marshall, and uh... oh, the wikia tells me her name really is Cynda. That's... a choice. Anyway, Fritz, Marshall, and Cynda are throwing a party and it seems they've befriended the Halliwells and there's a semi decent dynamic going on there, even if Cynda's actress is a bit much. It's interesting to note how friendships are mentioned and handled now versus how they'll appear later on, but it makes sense. They've only just discovered they're witches and their previous lives would have featured friends pretty heavily given they're all in their 20's. But as the seasons tick by, we see almost no friends and when we do, it feels super weird because they're never mentioned in passing. The witchcraft definitely took a bite out of their social lives and it's something I hope the reboot manages to balance should it continue.
So. Party. Prue's ready to ditch after saying hello and Piper and Phoebe get all squirrelly when she tries. Turns out that Phoebe invited Andy to the party because Prue was taking too long to properly rekindle this relationship. It's cute and so is Piper's dress and basically the sisters and Andy portions of this scene work really well for me. I also randomly remember Fritz pestering Andy about his parking tickets and it still makes me snicker years later.
While Andy is distracted, Prue makes her escape only to find the Manor's door is ajar. She's momentarily freaked out and then decides Phoebe must be the guilty party. She's even less thrilled when she gets inside and finds Cujo waiting for her. The dog barks and chases Prue out of the house and just before the credits roll, its eyes glow and we know it's not a normal dog. Also, we saw the dog earlier as the sisters went to the party so it stands to reason even without the glowy eyes, it's not normal.
Prue reads Phoebe the riot act about the door and in return Phoebe locks Prue out and it's cute and I'm dead.
At Buckland's, a mysterious dude appears in Prue's office and asks her to appraise his ring. She tries to send him to someone more qualified but he insists. So she takes a look at the ring:
(it's kinda hideous)
And as she starts cataloging its attributes and where it might've come from, she gets both very into her work and also very, very suspicious. She asks where he got the ring and also what was his name again? He tells her that she knows his name and then calls her Prudence. She tells him to get the hell out (paraphrasing) and he says that's no way to speak to her father.
This part has always been a little weird for me since Prue is the daughter who does remember him but she doesn't recognize him at all. The video we'll see at the end kind of makes it seem like maybe the lack of 70's facial hair might've thrown her, but that's not the time frame where your looks change so drastically that no one would ever be able to ID you. Victor and Patty were not teen parents, mmkay? But they needed the ~dramatic~ reveal so whatever. Daddy leaves with an invitation to dinner for all three girls later.
And I'm not great with staying with the linear recap so I might jump around. Shocking, I know.
Prue tells Piper and Phoebe about Victor being back and if you pay attention, you'll realize she only ever calls him Victor while Piper and Phoebe both call him Dad. Prue thinks it's a bad idea to go and she's suspicious that maybe he's only back in their lives because he knows they're witches. Phoebe and Piper don't want to hear this and are both sure that Prue's just being her usual sour self where their father is concerned.
Except when Phoebe goes to visit him before dinner he has no idea which daughter she is. He assumes Piper and Phoebe lies and tells him that people are forever confusing them (like hell) and even Victor has enough good sense to realize how wrong that is. When they hug, Phoebe gets a premonition of Victor holding the BoS.
We see the mailman appear and magically shift his finger into a key that he uses to open the locked Manor door. GASP. He cheerfully runs upstairs and then kicks down the door to the attic, grabs the Book of Shadows, and practically skips down the stairs on his way to the door. As he crosses the threshold, the book magically flies out of his grasp and no matter how he tries, he can't get the book out of the house. As he's struggling, Prue comes home, so he dashes back inside and shifts into Andy. Prue is irked that the door was unlocked, AGAIN, but rushes Andy out when she spots the BoS on the floor. She does agree to his earlier date invite but since this isn't Andy that should be awkward later.
Only it's not, because while Piper and Phoebe are at dinner with Victor, Prue is at home nuking a meal. Andy drops by and while she glares at him, she also lets him in and not a word is said about the date that wasn't. She does, however, fill him in on her father being back and he's almost as cautious as Prue. There's a cute memory about how they missed their prom and then Andy drives Prue to the dinner so she can tell her father all the things she just told Andy.
Prue crashes dinner and then Piper freezes the restaurant to avert a flambe disaster. Victor isn't even phased a little by Piper magically appearing before him bearing a flaming desert and immediately ticks off their powers one by one. Daddy knows!
Yay?
Back at the Manor, the mail man appears again and Piper and Phoebe freak out. Only not because of course, they're Fritz, Cynda, and Marshall. They shape shift into crows (ravens?) and fly out of the house when the Halliwells return home seconds later. Dad gets a look on his face and asks, "Friends of yours?"
Phoebe is thrilled to be able to discuss her powers with someone other than her sisters and even when everyone else is kind of cringing, Phoebe's still gushing about how awesome it all is. Prue is less than pleased and then things go from bad to worse when Victor asks about the BoS. Even Piper is thrown because his timing is so off.
Prue is triumphant, sure that she's right, and she goes off about how him coming back and immediately ask about the freakin' book. Phoebe's still willing to cut him some slack and things snowball very quickly. Victor says he did come back because they're witches and he does want the book, but not for the reasons they think. He never wanted them to be witches and wants to destroy the book for their safety. He implies that Grams cast a spell that kept him away all these years and Piper goes OFF because Grams raised them and how dare he?
It's been awhile, but I'm pretty sure this is one of the only things they don't retcon. Grams really did cast a spell to keep him away. Thing is, this Victor could've found someone to get around it because he's shown to be wickedly smart. I'll come back to that though.
Anyway, Prue gets good and ticked when even Phoebe's mad at Victor and she uses her powers to slam him into a doorway. He gets up, unhurt, says if she wanted him to leave all she had to do was ask, and the way this line is delivered makes Victor such a jackass and I adore it and hate it at the same time. Phoebe and Piper are both appalled at Prue's use of magical force and the three sisters scatter.
Three for three in terms of episodes where Piper just wants to be normal.
Next we see of Victor, he's in his hotel room with the trio of shape shifting idiots who are clearly planning to kill him and assume his identity to trick the girls out of the book. This is where Victor really shines. He calmly lights his cigar and informs them ever so nonchalantly why this plan will never work. After his disastrous meeting with his daughters, they won't let him or anyone who looks like him anywhere near the house, let alone the book... but he knows Phoebe is still the way back in. Cynda asks why she can't just kill him and be done with it and Victor points out that only he knows which buttons to push when it comes to earning her trust back.
This is hysterical considering he left Phoebe when she was 1, but Cynda and co don't know that. He's just sitting there, smoking away as if he hadn't a care in the world as three shape shifters debate whether or not to murder him. God, I love this version of Victor.
I'm going to rant here so you're warned. Victor Bennet will appear later and he'll be all nicey nice and wimpy and I get that they had to soften his edges to make viewers not throw things at their TVs but sweet baby Jesus, he's also an idiot. This Victor knows all about their powers and the Book and he can spot a shape shifter without any hard evidence AND talk his way out of danger without breaking a sweat. You can see glimpses of Phoebe and Prue in him and it works so very, very well. VB? Yeah, no. Even when attempting badassery, he's still too nice and it doesn't work for me. I know that one should be flexible when it comes to first season setups but dude, Victor does not end on a great note and yet we're all supposed to forgive him when he returns in S3? No. It rings hollow and I hate it.
So. Back to the Manor. The next morning Phoebe walks in on Piper and Prue sitting side by side at the table but facing away from each other and picking sullenly at their food. She waves a napkin in surrender and asks for a truce before letting them know about her premonition about Victor stealing the book. She admits that she knew he was up to something but wanted so desperately to have her father in her life that she looked the other way and it's very sweet and rings true for Phoebe. Prue hugs her and all is forgiven. Piper notices Victor's ring on the ground and keep that in mind for later.
Phoebe heads out to get the paper and sees Fritz and Marshall across the street just before Victor appears. She tries to get away but he pleads with her to just see, and then he somehow forces her back to her vision only this time it's extended so she can see that it's not Victor stealing the book at all. It's Marshall and Fritz and Cynda out to get them! Gasp! Seriously, how did Victor pull this off? See? Smart! Sneaky! He let Phoebe know what she needed to know without letting the idiotic three see a thing. Phoebe runs inside and tries to tell Prue what's going on but then Piper appears with Cynda who made cookies! Phoebe gets a panicked look in her eye but continues upstairs to the attic where the book magically helps her find the right page for the spell the vanquish the trio... and anyone else in the house who isn't a Charmed One.
She runs back downstairs just as Victor appears... twice. Two Dads! Piper's not having it and Prue's ready to unleash the spell.
Phoebe tells her it'll kill everyone who isn't them and the Victors begin to try and convince the girls that they're the real Victor. Finally the real Victor tells them to just destroy them both and Piper reminds Prue about the ring. She uses her powers to push it towards Victor who looks at her to ask if she really means it. She does and he slips it on and Phoebe starts the spell. Our trio turn to go and go poof and Victor is shaken but not melted. Huzzah?
When we next see our heroines, Prue is chiding Phoebe about borrowing her dress but Phoebe explains she wanted to look nice for their dad. Piper's just happy to have him back for however long while Phoebe admits she no longer has the same romanticized version of him that she used to. Prue's calling him Dad so when the doorbell rings, we should all know it's not Victor.
It's not. It's Leo Wyatt, the handyman. Phoebe makes an immediate play for him but he holds out an envelope and says he found it out front. Turns out Victor isn't coming; he chickened out.
He did leave a video of Christmas, 1975 and we're treated to some cute footage of the girls as little ones and Alyssa Milano playing Patty Halliwell even though you really, really have to know what you're looking for since the video is definitely more focused on Victor. Am I to believe that Penny (Grams) filmed this? Really?
Really?
Seriously though, I always liked the way Victor was introduced and then just as quickly shuffled away. At the time, Ari and Cass were having similar issues with their father. He'd call and talk to Ari, the sister who had no interest in him, but ignore Cass who desperately wanted him to notice her. And it was hard to ignore the similarities between them and the Halliwells and their father. Perhaps this is why I prefer Victor 1, as I don't like his redemption and I don't really see A&C's father as redeemed either. Or maybe it's just that their Dad going out of his way to avoid Phoebe when she went to New York to find him doesn't match up at all with Victor 2, and they would've been in NY at the same time after Grams's death so you can't even use the spell as a reason to keep them apart. Not unless it fell apart the moment they got their powers back, I suppose.
Still, original Victor was crafty and had schemes and you just knew he got his money in something less than strictly legal ways and I enjoyed it. He wasn't evil but he wasn't particularly good. He lived in the grey area in between and it helped shape the show.
And now let me leave you with some cute Piper:
And party tips from Prue.