![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
impyWell, now I'm sad.
In middle school, I met Cassi. Part of me wants to say I met her earlier, but I really think it was simply a case of meeting someone and them being such a big presence in your day to day life that they immediately feel like someone you've known longer. I'm not really sure how we wound up friends, but it's probably as simple as being two relative outcasts sitting next to each other in computer lab. I know we were in the same sixth grade class, because through Cassi, I met Ari (and thus Cass), and that was because Cassi introduced us after getting to know me and realizing yup, these weirdos are my people.
I'm sad that most of my memories of Cassi are from middle school because no one's best times are immortalized during that time. Like, I learned what serious mental illness and parental neglect looked like from Cassi, but that's not why I randomly looked her up this morning.
Years ago, and I do not remember how long, but likely more than ten, we ran into each other at the Green Dragon (before it moved) and we caught up and she seemed happier, but maybe not happy (trying not to rewrite history here and it's hard) but working on it. She showed me some of her art and it's her art I was hoping to find online, honestly. I mean, she'd have been great too, but I was expecting her to have a site or a gallery or something because she was talented as hell and instead Google's like "sooooooooo, about that..."
I'd forgotten she was two years older than me, which really does probably explain a lot of the rage (in addition to general middle school fuckery) back in the day. I spent a lot of my sixth grade computer lab worrying about her, and a lot of lunches laughing with her. She was one of the first really computer savvy people I knew; she was pretty much the second teacher in that class. She was wickedly funny and too smart for her own good, and I hope life was better to her after we parted ways. I mean, clearly it didn't give her a very long time, so I'm hoping for quality over quantity.
I've looked her up a few times over the years but other than occasionally finding a FB account (Cass backs me up on this) and maybe once a brief hint at art, somewhere, she wasn't to be found. I wonder if that was intentional, or if she just wasn't interested or what. I'll never know now. It's weird realizing how often you find yourself hoping that you'll run into someone you liked from school to counter all the people you're not a fan of who keep appearing. I imagine this works better for those of us who didn't move away from our hometowns, obviously.
I suspect I'll still look for her though.
In middle school, I met Cassi. Part of me wants to say I met her earlier, but I really think it was simply a case of meeting someone and them being such a big presence in your day to day life that they immediately feel like someone you've known longer. I'm not really sure how we wound up friends, but it's probably as simple as being two relative outcasts sitting next to each other in computer lab. I know we were in the same sixth grade class, because through Cassi, I met Ari (and thus Cass), and that was because Cassi introduced us after getting to know me and realizing yup, these weirdos are my people.
I'm sad that most of my memories of Cassi are from middle school because no one's best times are immortalized during that time. Like, I learned what serious mental illness and parental neglect looked like from Cassi, but that's not why I randomly looked her up this morning.
Years ago, and I do not remember how long, but likely more than ten, we ran into each other at the Green Dragon (before it moved) and we caught up and she seemed happier, but maybe not happy (trying not to rewrite history here and it's hard) but working on it. She showed me some of her art and it's her art I was hoping to find online, honestly. I mean, she'd have been great too, but I was expecting her to have a site or a gallery or something because she was talented as hell and instead Google's like "sooooooooo, about that..."
I'd forgotten she was two years older than me, which really does probably explain a lot of the rage (in addition to general middle school fuckery) back in the day. I spent a lot of my sixth grade computer lab worrying about her, and a lot of lunches laughing with her. She was one of the first really computer savvy people I knew; she was pretty much the second teacher in that class. She was wickedly funny and too smart for her own good, and I hope life was better to her after we parted ways. I mean, clearly it didn't give her a very long time, so I'm hoping for quality over quantity.
I've looked her up a few times over the years but other than occasionally finding a FB account (Cass backs me up on this) and maybe once a brief hint at art, somewhere, she wasn't to be found. I wonder if that was intentional, or if she just wasn't interested or what. I'll never know now. It's weird realizing how often you find yourself hoping that you'll run into someone you liked from school to counter all the people you're not a fan of who keep appearing. I imagine this works better for those of us who didn't move away from our hometowns, obviously.
I suspect I'll still look for her though.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-05-29 11:30 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you lost your friend. Middle school might be awful, but those are some of the best friendships we ever make.