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Oct. 27th, 2025 06:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
impyGod bless Hoopla, as it keeps me from having to fork out money for yet another streaming service. I've often wondered why Hallmark, of all companies, doesn't lean into cutesy Halloween movies. The closest they really seem to have come was when they went all in on the Good Witch series (movies and show) which, at least movie wise, always felt like someone forgot to add in the conflict portion of the story. I'm not asking for scary Halloween from them because, well, duh, but like gimme the Halloween love stories, dammit. They skimp on those in their rush to slog out more Christmas movies and it's always annoyed and baffled me.
So, imagine my surprise when they advertised getting Kimberly J Brown (and her husband) of Halloweentown fame to be in a Halloween movie. Huzzah! I broke out Hoopla and used my bingepass for HallmarkPlus, ready to fire this sucker up only to have it not work. Literally, in 13 minutes of runtime, I had to restart it 25+ times to get that far, and I suspect I only made it that far because I fastforwarded a bit and then went back to try and loop it back. Mm, no. I eventually watched something else (oddly, it also starred the male lead from Haul Out the Halloween), and it was fine and had some Halloween. I let Hallmark know their movie they'd been advertising for awhile was unwatchable, literally, and went about my week. I checked back in yesterday and huzzah, the movie worked!
First up, this is a sequel to a Christmas movie I haven't seen. Second, uh, wow. They did NOTHING with KJB beyond a few really unsubtle nods to other things. Seriously, I was expecting a battle of the decorating based on promos and it was not that because that would take time away from whatever else was going on? I dunno.
For what it was, it was fine. It was extremely cheesy though. Like I always expect a certain amount of cheese for both cutesy Halloween and holiday movies in general, but this was at least double that.
Hallmark staple Lacey Chabert plays Emily and Wes Brown plays Jared, and the two open the movie getting married, while Emily tells us about Evergreen Lane, which is just the best street in all of Utah. Mm. They go on their honeymoon and before they come back, KJB and her husband move in and go all in on Halloween decorations outside. The movie loses two points right away for mispronouncing Samhain (and we're gonna dock 'em 25 later for doubling down on this while giving us a history of Halloween), but gets 5 points for one of the side characters critiquing the decorations (too many ghosts, not enough headstones, get it together!)
Jared and Emily return home, and Jared scoops Em up to carry her over the threshold, only to drop her when he sees what Luna and Marvin have done with their yard. You see, Jared is head of the HOA and he breaks out the BINDER of rules he took on his honeymoon. (To be fair, Em does comment on this.) They immediately go over to confront/welcome the new neighbors and Jared's all, "yeah, pumpkins are great but everything else is gonna have to go." When Luna and Marvin say they talked about it with Em's parents who said it was fine, Jared gets the immediate "wtf" for them spending the rest of hurricane season in Utah with their newlywed daughter and also the whole decorating go-ahead.
To cut this a bit shorter, turns out there are no HOA bylaws against decorating for non-Christmas holidays (to be fair, that sounds like it'd be a recipe for a lawsuit anyway, Hallmark), it's just that after the INCIDENT (everyone quickly look at and then away from Emily!), everyone on Evergreen Lane agreed not to go all out for Halloween anymore.
The incident, in case you wondered, was Emily and Jared getting yard yelped and then Emily's grandmother taking them out for the best night of trick or treating ever on her golfcart... only to die two weeks later. Really, this sounds more like it would fuck Thanksgiving over than Halloween, but uh, okay. Turns out Grandma really, really loved Halloween, even if she did conflate its origins with the Day of the Dead (I'm including this with the 25 points off I mentioned earlier), and Emily hasn't really celebrated since Grandma died. Which was when Emily was a child, maybe middle school at the latest. That is a LONG time for no new neighbors to move in and want to decorate for something other than Christmas, even in Utah.
Honestly, when the incident was first mentioned and I finally got the movie to show anything beyond that, I assumed that when Grandma hopped into her golf cart that she was either going to crash (injuring the kids) or maybe just have a health incident that night, so having her die two weeks later just felt... underwhelming? Y'all really coddled this child for that? Also also, wouldn't whichever of Emily's parents that lost their mother be just as, if not more, devastated? Wouldn't grandma's death have also taken out Christmas? Is that covered in the original movie? Probably not since this street is known for their OTT decorating for Christmas.
Anyway, Emily learns all this and is like guys, that was nice and all, but you didn't need to do that. I didn't ask you to do that and honestly, I didn't want you to either. So she's on board to bring Halloween back to the Lane and they go ALL IN. Seriously, I get that most of the side characters are likely retired and don't have jobs to worry about, but there are a lot of activities planned that just... wouldn't be all that feasible for people who didn't have a lot of time or money. Then again, this street is obviously expensive so I guess that explains the money bit. But talking fines and community service for not taking part? Mmmno. And this is coming from someone who would LOVE it if everyone in the neighborhood decorated for Halloween.
Not the point. Things go off the rails pretty quick when Jared realizes, live on local news, that his mother is romantically interested in one of the wacky neighbors (the guy who can't pronounce Samhain) and smashes a pumpkin likeness of that guy on air. Everyone worries that the rest of the Halloween fundraising activities will be affected and Jared has to come to terms with his mother dating again. Honestly, this part had some some really good moments and some painfully cringeworthy moments, and I'd really rather we'd had the decorating Halloween off I assumed this movie was going to be.
Emily's sidequest involves rekindling her love of writing/illustrating books and making amends with a frenemy while still being a little wary that said frenemy isn't really up for being actual friends.
Overall, it's fine, it just feels very much like someone skinned a Christmas movie and stuffed it into a halfhearted Halloween costume. Yes, that was graphic and no, I will not apologize for that since KJB deserved MORE.
Ellen Travolta remains delightful and if she's in the original, I might go ahead and add it to my watch list since I assume we're also getting a new Christmas movie for this year given how this movie ended.
I hope this did well enough that Hallmark decides to actually go in on doing Halloween movies more than just throwing Halloween in during an Autumn movie they use to fill airtime before they decide fuck it, it's Christmas. Maybe bring KJB back and let her do something. It was fun seeing her go all Shakespeare loving fiend, but I need moooooooooooore.
Oh, if you're someone who suffers serious secondhand embarrassment, there is a rap at the end because WHY THE FUCK NOT.
Now to crawl into a shower and see if the cramps go away.
So, imagine my surprise when they advertised getting Kimberly J Brown (and her husband) of Halloweentown fame to be in a Halloween movie. Huzzah! I broke out Hoopla and used my bingepass for HallmarkPlus, ready to fire this sucker up only to have it not work. Literally, in 13 minutes of runtime, I had to restart it 25+ times to get that far, and I suspect I only made it that far because I fastforwarded a bit and then went back to try and loop it back. Mm, no. I eventually watched something else (oddly, it also starred the male lead from Haul Out the Halloween), and it was fine and had some Halloween. I let Hallmark know their movie they'd been advertising for awhile was unwatchable, literally, and went about my week. I checked back in yesterday and huzzah, the movie worked!
First up, this is a sequel to a Christmas movie I haven't seen. Second, uh, wow. They did NOTHING with KJB beyond a few really unsubtle nods to other things. Seriously, I was expecting a battle of the decorating based on promos and it was not that because that would take time away from whatever else was going on? I dunno.
For what it was, it was fine. It was extremely cheesy though. Like I always expect a certain amount of cheese for both cutesy Halloween and holiday movies in general, but this was at least double that.
Hallmark staple Lacey Chabert plays Emily and Wes Brown plays Jared, and the two open the movie getting married, while Emily tells us about Evergreen Lane, which is just the best street in all of Utah. Mm. They go on their honeymoon and before they come back, KJB and her husband move in and go all in on Halloween decorations outside. The movie loses two points right away for mispronouncing Samhain (and we're gonna dock 'em 25 later for doubling down on this while giving us a history of Halloween), but gets 5 points for one of the side characters critiquing the decorations (too many ghosts, not enough headstones, get it together!)
Jared and Emily return home, and Jared scoops Em up to carry her over the threshold, only to drop her when he sees what Luna and Marvin have done with their yard. You see, Jared is head of the HOA and he breaks out the BINDER of rules he took on his honeymoon. (To be fair, Em does comment on this.) They immediately go over to confront/welcome the new neighbors and Jared's all, "yeah, pumpkins are great but everything else is gonna have to go." When Luna and Marvin say they talked about it with Em's parents who said it was fine, Jared gets the immediate "wtf" for them spending the rest of hurricane season in Utah with their newlywed daughter and also the whole decorating go-ahead.
To cut this a bit shorter, turns out there are no HOA bylaws against decorating for non-Christmas holidays (to be fair, that sounds like it'd be a recipe for a lawsuit anyway, Hallmark), it's just that after the INCIDENT (everyone quickly look at and then away from Emily!), everyone on Evergreen Lane agreed not to go all out for Halloween anymore.
The incident, in case you wondered, was Emily and Jared getting yard yelped and then Emily's grandmother taking them out for the best night of trick or treating ever on her golfcart... only to die two weeks later. Really, this sounds more like it would fuck Thanksgiving over than Halloween, but uh, okay. Turns out Grandma really, really loved Halloween, even if she did conflate its origins with the Day of the Dead (I'm including this with the 25 points off I mentioned earlier), and Emily hasn't really celebrated since Grandma died. Which was when Emily was a child, maybe middle school at the latest. That is a LONG time for no new neighbors to move in and want to decorate for something other than Christmas, even in Utah.
Honestly, when the incident was first mentioned and I finally got the movie to show anything beyond that, I assumed that when Grandma hopped into her golf cart that she was either going to crash (injuring the kids) or maybe just have a health incident that night, so having her die two weeks later just felt... underwhelming? Y'all really coddled this child for that? Also also, wouldn't whichever of Emily's parents that lost their mother be just as, if not more, devastated? Wouldn't grandma's death have also taken out Christmas? Is that covered in the original movie? Probably not since this street is known for their OTT decorating for Christmas.
Anyway, Emily learns all this and is like guys, that was nice and all, but you didn't need to do that. I didn't ask you to do that and honestly, I didn't want you to either. So she's on board to bring Halloween back to the Lane and they go ALL IN. Seriously, I get that most of the side characters are likely retired and don't have jobs to worry about, but there are a lot of activities planned that just... wouldn't be all that feasible for people who didn't have a lot of time or money. Then again, this street is obviously expensive so I guess that explains the money bit. But talking fines and community service for not taking part? Mmmno. And this is coming from someone who would LOVE it if everyone in the neighborhood decorated for Halloween.
Not the point. Things go off the rails pretty quick when Jared realizes, live on local news, that his mother is romantically interested in one of the wacky neighbors (the guy who can't pronounce Samhain) and smashes a pumpkin likeness of that guy on air. Everyone worries that the rest of the Halloween fundraising activities will be affected and Jared has to come to terms with his mother dating again. Honestly, this part had some some really good moments and some painfully cringeworthy moments, and I'd really rather we'd had the decorating Halloween off I assumed this movie was going to be.
Emily's sidequest involves rekindling her love of writing/illustrating books and making amends with a frenemy while still being a little wary that said frenemy isn't really up for being actual friends.
Overall, it's fine, it just feels very much like someone skinned a Christmas movie and stuffed it into a halfhearted Halloween costume. Yes, that was graphic and no, I will not apologize for that since KJB deserved MORE.
Ellen Travolta remains delightful and if she's in the original, I might go ahead and add it to my watch list since I assume we're also getting a new Christmas movie for this year given how this movie ended.
I hope this did well enough that Hallmark decides to actually go in on doing Halloween movies more than just throwing Halloween in during an Autumn movie they use to fill airtime before they decide fuck it, it's Christmas. Maybe bring KJB back and let her do something. It was fun seeing her go all Shakespeare loving fiend, but I need moooooooooooore.
Oh, if you're someone who suffers serious secondhand embarrassment, there is a rap at the end because WHY THE FUCK NOT.
Now to crawl into a shower and see if the cramps go away.
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Date: 2025-10-28 10:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-10-28 11:58 pm (UTC)(And woe to the ever forgotten Thanksgiving.)