but don't tell me now

She didn't need a mirror to tell her she was ugly. All she had to do was look in somebody's eyes. Anybody's. [One Chance from Strays and Waifs by Charles DeLint]
That is perhaps the saddest thing I've ever read that also hit a little too close to home. It basically sums up how I felt for ten or so years, and still feel 85% of the time. Read that the other night and have been meaning to put it in here so I could use it later.

Snifflie.

Now, I'm going back to reading the wonder that is Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. You'll go read now, if you're smart.

the hamster has fallen off the wheel, captain.

'Tis my day off. Should be asleep since I'm fairly tired, but I'm hoping the mail will come and bring me a letter from Ryan. Don't want to go blathering on about him as I think it would annoy me later and annoy some people now. Lonely though, and since I think the boy is auditioning new girlfriends, even going so far as to talk to the crazy ex [I know, I say that like he's got the one and no others]... it'll just be a parade of morons until he finds one. Ugh. But I want a letter.

I also wish I weren't girly and sniffle over movies I know don't end happily before I even see them. I finally caved and watched Tuck Everlasting which had a big problem I never quite got over. No, I didn't keep seeing Alexis/Winny and screaming "Rory!". It was that the freakin' movie seemed to suffer from someone's inability to properly cut from one shot to the next and back again. Not cool. Otherwise, I sniffled and marveled at pretty boy's ability to be quite possibly prettier than Alexis and tried to remember if Scott Bairstow is the actor accused of having sex with his underage cousin. ... Yeah. I'm kind of odd like that.

Which reminds me. Sometimes I worry that the link between what I think and what I say is beginning to fray. I'll say the stupidest things sometimes. Usually when I do this it's for an obvious reason. Like I'm freakishly uncomfortable or trying to impress someone. Since this is not the case any of the times I come off sounding very, very weird, I'm starting to worry a smidge. On the other hand, who doesn't want to be eccentric? I mean, I always wanted to be rich first, but I guess we can't always have what we want.

La. I should sleep. I'll fall into one of those moods if I don't, and that would be bad. Because not even a visit from the muse would be worth it.


( holly banner hidden )

who loves ya? heidi! heidi!

Eeeeeeee! Cue the fan girls that surround undeserving popstars. Eeeeee!

I am the proud recipient of a call from mad madam Heidi. :D This makes me happy because, duh. A call from Heidi? Joyous. For those not so blessed, well, it sucks to be you, doesn't it? :p

And in case Miss Heida doesn't know, she's got a cute voice. Which I feel perfectly comfortable in saying.

*hugs*

And now I really do sleep so I can stalk later like planned.

Oh, new icon to signify joy. Hopefully miss holli_hope won't mind being associated with a funny Holly picture.

[for those wondering, this makes...]:
( nada to do with heidi, thus it takes away from the glee )