never again and never again..

Alright. I'm sure no one wants to hear it, but I'll blather on anyway. I love my new banner. love. And now I will tell you exactly why. I'm currently on a Prue/Piper/gore kick, and that combined with the MCR addiction? Bloody messes everywhere. Yay!
- I love pissed off Prue in the corner, and for some reason the hands in the same corner? Faaaaabulously creepy.
The dead body section looks like I stole it off one of my old SVH books, so yay. Double yay for the bloody hand that looks like it's attacking Prue. yay for gory hand!
and I like the two shots to the back of the head thing going with Piper being shot and Prue pulling the trigger [the orange is taken from that crappy western episode]

annnnnd I like Prue guilt, so there's tons of that all around.

But mostly I like the bloody hands. Because I'm weird.

I'm in danger of burning out. I thought I'd managed to slide away from it, but apparently I was wrong. Despite plenty of sleep yesterday, I still looked an awful lot like a zombie. To the point where people commented. Frequently. After awhile I was tempted to bare fangs and hiss at people or something. Dude, I've been worked into the ground and they just keep piling it back on. Also, any extended time in the summer aisle is enough to make my head explode. It got to the point where I literally had to bite my lip to keep from screaming in frustration.

Annnnnd it appears rumours of my Mini Noir having been sent were wrong. She was sent sometime this week. Which means I won't see her til next week. This vexes me.

It's weird the things you remember and end up holding onto, memory wise. Or how you can manage to just remember the worst part of something and not the circumstances that led to it. For instance, I have this crystal clear memory of Ari being upset, and I think Cass was too, and I know I was supposed to be, and was, but Ari was visibly upset. I must have said something because she turns to me, cold as the icequeen herself and says, "Well. We can't all be as stoic as you."

Until that moment, I didn't really see myself that way. I knew as high school progressed and I became infinitely more miserable that I could bottle up things ever so well [not to the point where people who know me well can't tell I'm upset, but it will confuse strangers]... but the comment lodged in my brain and has been there ever since. I bet she doesn't remember saying it, and ... huh. Maybe that's when Kristen died. Dunno. Point is, it's weird how some things become stuck in your head and live there forever and ever, amen.

Weirder still how you somehow managed to feel stuck in that perception years later.

Annnnnd now I need a shower and some sleep. The zombie has a weekend to work, and I'm told we get tropical storm fringe. Yay! [/sarcasm]