Weekend thoughts

Dear various news and tabloid publications,
I still do not give a damn about Jennifer Aniston. Your continued coverage of her ability to continue breathing is still boring and it still does nothing to make me want to buy your magazines, tune into any of your 'news' shows, or do much of anything besides turn away as fast as I can.

Please find someone else to paint as the Patron Saint of Victimhood.

Thank you.

-Me.

Also, there was a fantastic accident at the intersection where I work. Friday some old, crazy dude ticked off the cops after running around half naked and bloody, blathering on about someone trying to kill his son [...right!] but when the cops went to try and, I don't know, ask him about this, he ran. Right, brilliant. Anyway, he hops into his big ol' truck [and we do mean big] and tries to escape. Keep in mind he's going down Folly Road which, guess what non-natives? Dead-ends into the fucking ocean. That's right. Your getaway route ends in a major body of water. Brilliant still! Only somehow he ends up plowing into the dumpster at Burger King and the cops have to tase him, repeatedly. He took out one cop car and two other cars [causing a Cheroke to flip, apparently] and messed up that intersection for two hours. Good times!

Later I'll tell you the original story. That one is the 'truth' so far as the paper told us. Look it up. Or wait for me to find links. But really, old guy in his underwear plows into cop car, two others, and makes a run for it heading towards the beach only to plow into a BK dumpster? How is that anything but classic?

`

*falls off chair*

This might be the greatest thing. Ever.

You are contractly bound to click on that if you like or like to mock any of the following: AG, dolls, Harry Potter, Twilight, Dr. Who, and anything/anyone that might be thrown into a melting pot due to any of those things and their connection to them. And for many of you, you fall under at least one of these categories.