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Tales from home shopping
Aug. 2nd, 2009 04:33 pmThe trouble with weddings is that there is no set uniform for them. So each one requires a different outfit, unlike say, a funeral. One wedding was easy/painful in that I was in it, so duh, uniform covered, although not without some serious second thoughts. The other was a bit of a disaster in that everyone was told different things, so the first wave of people was super casual, and every wave thereafter got more and more dressy. Speaking as one of the casual, my feet still hurt, so I could've at least been wearing sexy shoes.
Today I braved the elements and tried to find something to wear to a polo and khakis casual wedding. Because, you see, these things aren't exactly in my closet. My closet is kind of pathetic, really. But that's neither here nor there. I had/have a shirt I like, but wouldn't work with any of the pants I own, and I was thinking that she's a bit traditional and I'd probably be better suited if I found a skirt... or some really awesome pants. But that wasn't likely. I did, however, find a skirt really easily. And I thought to myself, "SO EASY, YAY." Tis a witchy skirt [and really, that should tell you enough] and it's black and I'm thinking... crap. I can't wear all black, no matter how pretty the beading on the shirt is, right? So... I try and find a shirt. And being a good little Imp, I find a bunch of shirts I like.
In black.
Well, fuck me, man. Eventually I found a pretty teal number I shall call crinkly and it's awesome with silver threads and... then I got stupid. Neither of these items was particularly cheap, even though I got half off the shirt. But I thought, bangle. Fucking. Bracelets. And they fit and didn't hurt and were just that awesome. So... all the savings I'd accrued in the shirt sale? I blew it on bracelets. At least it's not just one bracelet made to look like more. It's actually six or seven silver bangles and my 80's inner child is all excited. She doesn't even give a right royal damn that the shoes don't exactly work with the outfit. Who the fuck cares? Witchy, crinkly, and bangles. What more do I need?
I know. Which is why I stopped at Best Buy and actually entered the store for the first, and quite possibly last, time. NCIS, S2. I figured the extra four bucks I'd save at Amazon would kill me as I waited two frickin' weeks for delivery. Whoever set up the store layout should be shot. I don't really say this lightly. I really mean they should suffer some bodily harm, even if it's not actually being shot. Maybe paintballs? Something. I don't like seriously considering shoplifting because I cannot find the goddamned register. They've hidden... the registers. What the hell? I had to follow signs, like a literate mouse in a maze. What the hell? I seriously considered mugging the guy on the Tv DVD aisle for his cane, then running for the door, using the cane to bitchslap the guy at the door if he said anything. But... I didn't figure I'd get a cell with a DVD player nor would they let me keep my stolen DVD should the cops nab me. You're on notice, Best Buy.
If you need me, I'll be in a coma now. And I apologize to all abused commas everywhere. During/after all LKH books, I find myself torturing them even more than usual.
Today I braved the elements and tried to find something to wear to a polo and khakis casual wedding. Because, you see, these things aren't exactly in my closet. My closet is kind of pathetic, really. But that's neither here nor there. I had/have a shirt I like, but wouldn't work with any of the pants I own, and I was thinking that she's a bit traditional and I'd probably be better suited if I found a skirt... or some really awesome pants. But that wasn't likely. I did, however, find a skirt really easily. And I thought to myself, "SO EASY, YAY." Tis a witchy skirt [and really, that should tell you enough] and it's black and I'm thinking... crap. I can't wear all black, no matter how pretty the beading on the shirt is, right? So... I try and find a shirt. And being a good little Imp, I find a bunch of shirts I like.
In black.
Well, fuck me, man. Eventually I found a pretty teal number I shall call crinkly and it's awesome with silver threads and... then I got stupid. Neither of these items was particularly cheap, even though I got half off the shirt. But I thought, bangle. Fucking. Bracelets. And they fit and didn't hurt and were just that awesome. So... all the savings I'd accrued in the shirt sale? I blew it on bracelets. At least it's not just one bracelet made to look like more. It's actually six or seven silver bangles and my 80's inner child is all excited. She doesn't even give a right royal damn that the shoes don't exactly work with the outfit. Who the fuck cares? Witchy, crinkly, and bangles. What more do I need?
I know. Which is why I stopped at Best Buy and actually entered the store for the first, and quite possibly last, time. NCIS, S2. I figured the extra four bucks I'd save at Amazon would kill me as I waited two frickin' weeks for delivery. Whoever set up the store layout should be shot. I don't really say this lightly. I really mean they should suffer some bodily harm, even if it's not actually being shot. Maybe paintballs? Something. I don't like seriously considering shoplifting because I cannot find the goddamned register. They've hidden... the registers. What the hell? I had to follow signs, like a literate mouse in a maze. What the hell? I seriously considered mugging the guy on the Tv DVD aisle for his cane, then running for the door, using the cane to bitchslap the guy at the door if he said anything. But... I didn't figure I'd get a cell with a DVD player nor would they let me keep my stolen DVD should the cops nab me. You're on notice, Best Buy.
If you need me, I'll be in a coma now. And I apologize to all abused commas everywhere. During/after all LKH books, I find myself torturing them even more than usual.