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well, that wasted ten minutes of my day
Mar. 23rd, 2010 07:27 amI quit. You can get your own kid up for school every day like a normal parent. Then you can make him breakfast, make sure he gets his pills (because while his mother might debate her child's need for the ADHD meds, the allergy one is important) and actually takes them, you can guard his food so his dog doesn't end up eating 90% of it, you can make sure he's got all his stuff for the day, spike his hair, make sure he cleans himself up (kid is a dirt magnet) and then walk or drive him to the bus stop (not that I normally do this part, but it's infinitely harder when you've done all the other stuff as well) and then come back and wipe down the kid's space at the table because no matter what you give him, he will spill it on the table.
In the afternoon, you can make sure you pick him up at the bus stop or are waiting for him to come home, you can do his homework with him (good luck with that, only Mums can pull that trick off, and it still involves high levels of stress), and then you can go out and garden with him while the gnats eat your flesh, or play computer games with him, or teach him to play hangman even though he still can't effing read yet, so in reality you're guessing all 26 letters of the alphabet until you both tire of the game. Then you can watch that stupid iCarly episode that is ALWAYS on when you're forced to watch (not necessarily when you choose to watch) or watch him play BuildaBear. Then he showers, has a snack he will not eat, tuck him into bed, read him a story that will most likely make you want to slam your head into a wall (Jimmy Neutron books will do that to you) or make YOU very sleepy while he's wired and ready to go for another six chapters, and then... then, because I'm making it so that you're doing what a freakin' parent should (except dinner because that never works for the both of you and I'm taking pity on your soul here. Please do be learning your kid does not like his cow to still moo at him, and however you cook hotdogs is a total failure to your kid, I'm sorry to say) YOU get to stay up and make sure he actually falls asleep.
When you do most of this fun and exhausting list, then maybe you'll have time for your social life. Or, you can take part of the afternoon chunk out (homework, bus stop, and the playing before dinner) and the bedtime chunk out and go to work. Like I do.
You, my dear sweet little brother whom I have been awful to just as much as I've been nice to over the years (though in lesser degrees of awfulness these past ten or more years), have no fucking clue how much I do for your kid, which means you have no idea how much I do for you. Because you're too busy totally not sleeping with your friend's ex-girlfriend and hanging out with your stupid friends to notice that your kid is being raised by other people.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find an icepack or something. Kid's elbows are sharp and pointy and find rib cages very, very easily. Ow.
I should point out that Mums does most of the afternoon/evening things, and most of the morning things on days when I am at work or actually get to sleep in. But on my days off, unless I get kidnapped, my day is spent warped around the kid's schedule.
This rant brought to you by people not letting me know the munchkin had a doctor's appointment until AFTER the kid was woken up.
Annnnnnnd now we move on to something more fun. Shannen on DWTS, which I figure I'll watch online instead of taping because I've got Gossip Girl and stuff to record.
Aww, Shannen.
In the afternoon, you can make sure you pick him up at the bus stop or are waiting for him to come home, you can do his homework with him (good luck with that, only Mums can pull that trick off, and it still involves high levels of stress), and then you can go out and garden with him while the gnats eat your flesh, or play computer games with him, or teach him to play hangman even though he still can't effing read yet, so in reality you're guessing all 26 letters of the alphabet until you both tire of the game. Then you can watch that stupid iCarly episode that is ALWAYS on when you're forced to watch (not necessarily when you choose to watch) or watch him play BuildaBear. Then he showers, has a snack he will not eat, tuck him into bed, read him a story that will most likely make you want to slam your head into a wall (Jimmy Neutron books will do that to you) or make YOU very sleepy while he's wired and ready to go for another six chapters, and then... then, because I'm making it so that you're doing what a freakin' parent should (except dinner because that never works for the both of you and I'm taking pity on your soul here. Please do be learning your kid does not like his cow to still moo at him, and however you cook hotdogs is a total failure to your kid, I'm sorry to say) YOU get to stay up and make sure he actually falls asleep.
When you do most of this fun and exhausting list, then maybe you'll have time for your social life. Or, you can take part of the afternoon chunk out (homework, bus stop, and the playing before dinner) and the bedtime chunk out and go to work. Like I do.
You, my dear sweet little brother whom I have been awful to just as much as I've been nice to over the years (though in lesser degrees of awfulness these past ten or more years), have no fucking clue how much I do for your kid, which means you have no idea how much I do for you. Because you're too busy totally not sleeping with your friend's ex-girlfriend and hanging out with your stupid friends to notice that your kid is being raised by other people.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find an icepack or something. Kid's elbows are sharp and pointy and find rib cages very, very easily. Ow.
I should point out that Mums does most of the afternoon/evening things, and most of the morning things on days when I am at work or actually get to sleep in. But on my days off, unless I get kidnapped, my day is spent warped around the kid's schedule.
This rant brought to you by people not letting me know the munchkin had a doctor's appointment until AFTER the kid was woken up.
Annnnnnnd now we move on to something more fun. Shannen on DWTS, which I figure I'll watch online instead of taping because I've got Gossip Girl and stuff to record.
Aww, Shannen.
