Tears and Joy

  I have been meaning to post this for ages. Seriously, I've had entire posts that were fluff and nothing more than a lead up to "AND NOW... for something actually important!" and I kept forgetting the important part. My blondness, it shows. ;) Reminded of this because luxken27 updated her recommended fic list and I made it. I believe the closest reaction would be: ^____________^ and then I might've teared up a bit because the middle of the month does this to me. Yes. Tears and joy.


Which will kind of be the theme here today.

  Cass and I called Ari Saturday to ask her the name of the combined collection of the Final Friends series for Christopher Pike (if you, like me, have lived under a rock and not realized they've been churning out collected editions of his stuff, they are. Some of them make sense, like the Thirst/Last Vampire collections. Others? Not so much. I'm looking at you, Master of Murder/Last Act. Though maybe that's because they're both... well, you know. Still... I think this tangent calls for a Pike discussion!) and instead Ari discussed two Important Things. One) She's found a liquor store that speaks her language. So much so that we are going to go visit it today. I'm broker than broke at the moment, however that's probably the best time to do this visit because I cannot buy a blasted thing! Two) She's found a used bookstore that she has deemed "awesome" and "amazing." My fingers are crossed that it actually is. Also that it's easy to get to so I can revisit it should it actually be either awesome, amazing, or both.

Yesterday Widget asked me for the nine billionth time when we could decorate for Christmas. In my family, for as long as I can remember, the answer has been the same: After December 4th. So when I couldn't take the constant barage of questions, I finally asked Mums and expected her to back this up or at least say "not til Black Friday" figuring that the last few years she's been pretty flexible on the 12/4 thing.

  Not so much. She tried to say he could decorate outside and that was about it, only what she actually said was the opposite. So... he ran upstairs and grabbed all the Christmas boxes and went to town after being repeatedly told not to take all the lights out and check them. This ended in me stepping on a bulb and the pain is still very much there.

   I do not want Christmas stuff up yet. It's not even Thanksgiving for one, and I do not want it to be a Christmas without Dad. Ever. But I'll settle for not yet since I kind of have to, y'know? I am not ready. I am not even ready to be not ready. I have worked pretty hard at moving around or through things that hurt either because it had to be done or it was the only way I could cope at the time... but this is firmly on the top of my "No, no, NO!" list. I was going to ease into things with perhaps figuring out the best way to do his advent calendar this year. Maybe make a few ornaments. Those things I could tell myself were merely crafty expressions, but then I'd get into the swing of things and it wouldn't be like being thrown into the deep end of the pool. (Yeah, that's how I learned to swim, and no, I really don't recommend it.)

  It's hard enough realizing that the joy I get from picking out the perfect card is going to immediately cause me pain because half the fun was showing the card to Dad, and despite knowing this, it still hits me each time I find a good one. :/

   That said, when the boxed card display went up in the store, I found my box of cards for this year. It sang. The heavens parted and a beam of light illuminated the way. It was the box. So when they went on sale yesterday, I bought them. The sale was buy one, get one 50% off and I thought and thought and came up with a list and figured "well, I don't need a second box because I've got everyone and even some left over!" I thought WRONG. So now I'm debating buying a second box of THE cards or buying a box of very pretty, but only certain people could get them because they're exceptionally religious and mostly family would get them. I have a couple of friends who'd be immediately placed on the religious list if I went that way. Which leads me to...

Who wants holiday cards? Seriously, if you do let me know. If you want to think about it, that's cool too because I'll be making the super official "comments are screened" post in a bit. Or you can message me your address if you think I do not have it (and with a very few exceptions, I would assume I do not have it because I lose addresses very, very easily.)

Now I'm going to see if I can find a new layout for my LJ because I'm tired of this one. It's still very pretty, but it's no longer what I need.