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Oh my lord.
Aug. 16th, 2013 07:01 pmYou want to have a heart attack without even trying? Excellent! Open your electric bill after moving in the summer.
I guarantee that if you live somewhere where summer means "AC or you will die", your bill will make your heart stop. If you're lucky, it won't start again. :P
After days of my electric bill being a deceptive "zero", I checked again today and saw the balance which is so high that there are four digits to the left of the decimal point. FOUR.
I... don't know what I was expecting, but I assure you it wasn't this. And because SCEG's site is a POS, I had to flail around in full on "ohmygod, I can't breathe and no one's home and I am actually going to DIE from the sticker shock! We can't afford this place, what the hell? Who has a bill this high? WHO?" panic mode until I load up IE whereupon SCEG says, "Calm yo tits" and I slap them for telling me that.
I then look at the bill and realize the following things are, I believe, true:
1) We had a previous balance and instead of leaving that in the section for the previous address, they just rolled that sonofabitch on over to the new place, leaving the old address with a balance of "zip."
2) The new balance for this place is actually really low (even if it is for just half a month) but when you combine it with the electricity suck that was the previous place, it creates a perfect storm of I NEARLY DIED.
3) I'm clearly not an adult because I still need my mommy to check over this stuff to figure out if my conclusions are correct or if I'm still suffering from the after effects of my heart having stopped.
Annnnnnd now our oven has crapped out.
On a related note, I have found myself unable to cry despite having many an occasion it would be most useful. I broke my tears, guys.
I guarantee that if you live somewhere where summer means "AC or you will die", your bill will make your heart stop. If you're lucky, it won't start again. :P
After days of my electric bill being a deceptive "zero", I checked again today and saw the balance which is so high that there are four digits to the left of the decimal point. FOUR.
I... don't know what I was expecting, but I assure you it wasn't this. And because SCEG's site is a POS, I had to flail around in full on "ohmygod, I can't breathe and no one's home and I am actually going to DIE from the sticker shock! We can't afford this place, what the hell? Who has a bill this high? WHO?" panic mode until I load up IE whereupon SCEG says, "Calm yo tits" and I slap them for telling me that.
I then look at the bill and realize the following things are, I believe, true:
1) We had a previous balance and instead of leaving that in the section for the previous address, they just rolled that sonofabitch on over to the new place, leaving the old address with a balance of "zip."
2) The new balance for this place is actually really low (even if it is for just half a month) but when you combine it with the electricity suck that was the previous place, it creates a perfect storm of I NEARLY DIED.
3) I'm clearly not an adult because I still need my mommy to check over this stuff to figure out if my conclusions are correct or if I'm still suffering from the after effects of my heart having stopped.
Annnnnnd now our oven has crapped out.
On a related note, I have found myself unable to cry despite having many an occasion it would be most useful. I broke my tears, guys.