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Opinions required
Sep. 22nd, 2014 08:23 pmI need a second (or third or fourth...) opinion. Today is Cassy's birthday. She was having a bad one what with having to work and then Ari having a bad day thrown on top of it. She stopped by the house to say hey and get her birthday present and we chatted a bit as that's what you do.
And then she said/did two things that made me stop and kind of stare for a second.
1) When discussing her crappy year, she said, "Y'know, I thought the year your Dad died was pretty bad, especially for you... I mean, it was weird going to the house and knowing he wouldn't be there... but sometimes, sometimes it's worse if they do make it through but they're not the same."
Mmm. Yeah. I mean, I get what she's saying on some level. But at the same time, as long as Ari's alive, there is still a chance of her coming back. Brain injuries are weird things. I know, I know I shouldn't pin many hopes on this, but some part of me HAS to.
So I didn't say much because I didn't know what to say to that. But I'm pretty sure I would trade all sorts of things for my dad to be back, even if he didn't remember a damn thing about the previous 10 or so years that had passed. Because he'd still be here.
2) Then, because things hadn't been quite weird enough, she mentioned that she wanted to show me something else. This something else was from the Signifigant Ex. Mine, that is, not hers. Because he posts funny things sometimes and still has a way with the funny.
Yeahhhhhh. About that. Dude hasn't spoken to me, not even TRIED to speak to me, since the summer of 2008. My dad dying? Nothing. So it still sets off something in my head that you're still friends, even the casual FB kind, with him. Dude broke my heart so badly that it took my father's death to blow an even bigger hole in my life, and still! Still some part of me continued to nurse that pain for a little bit longer.
But she's an adult and she can choose her own friends. I can't think of any situation where I would do the same to her unless she specifically asked me to spy on someone but I also come from the school of thought where you hate your friend's ex so that they don't have to.
It was weird on top of weird and I didn't know what to say or if I should even say anything.
Should I have said something? Or do you let things slide when someone is having a shitty birthday to cap off a shitty year and you're reasonably sure they're just not thinking?
And then she said/did two things that made me stop and kind of stare for a second.
1) When discussing her crappy year, she said, "Y'know, I thought the year your Dad died was pretty bad, especially for you... I mean, it was weird going to the house and knowing he wouldn't be there... but sometimes, sometimes it's worse if they do make it through but they're not the same."
Mmm. Yeah. I mean, I get what she's saying on some level. But at the same time, as long as Ari's alive, there is still a chance of her coming back. Brain injuries are weird things. I know, I know I shouldn't pin many hopes on this, but some part of me HAS to.
So I didn't say much because I didn't know what to say to that. But I'm pretty sure I would trade all sorts of things for my dad to be back, even if he didn't remember a damn thing about the previous 10 or so years that had passed. Because he'd still be here.
2) Then, because things hadn't been quite weird enough, she mentioned that she wanted to show me something else. This something else was from the Signifigant Ex. Mine, that is, not hers. Because he posts funny things sometimes and still has a way with the funny.
Yeahhhhhh. About that. Dude hasn't spoken to me, not even TRIED to speak to me, since the summer of 2008. My dad dying? Nothing. So it still sets off something in my head that you're still friends, even the casual FB kind, with him. Dude broke my heart so badly that it took my father's death to blow an even bigger hole in my life, and still! Still some part of me continued to nurse that pain for a little bit longer.
But she's an adult and she can choose her own friends. I can't think of any situation where I would do the same to her unless she specifically asked me to spy on someone but I also come from the school of thought where you hate your friend's ex so that they don't have to.
It was weird on top of weird and I didn't know what to say or if I should even say anything.
Should I have said something? Or do you let things slide when someone is having a shitty birthday to cap off a shitty year and you're reasonably sure they're just not thinking?