(no subject)

I truly hope you are appreciating me holding back on my full on obsessive freakout over this show. Because it's coming. One day.

Just not today since work reminded me that I owe a story. And it's just as well I didn't post when it first happened because now you get the unexpected sequel!

Ugh.

We'll go in reverse since the original is still the better story and I want to end with it.

Last night I'm working on totes and it's been very quiet and I am very grateful for this fact. I think it's because we apparently were closed Monday and maybe Sunday, too, so people weren't sure we were open past midnight. One of the regulars I'm not all that fond of comes in and hits the ATM and I go back to my work, wondering what exactly he has on him that sets the alarm off only half the time. He moseyed on over and starts chatting about how I'd warned him that when I wasn't there they'd be closed and sure enough... I mean that's only half the warning (the other half being that if they don't find me a coworker ASAP I'm going to burn out and then we'll be closed EVERY night but okay, ignore that) but I nod along because whatcha gonna do.

I ask if he needs to buy anything or just needed the ATM and he says nah, he just wanted to talk to me. And then gives me a LOOK before following that up with, "you've just got this...calming presence for me." Followed by another LOOK.

My dude, your girlfriend would probably like a word and also no, no thank you. Finally: I'm like 92% positive you're stealing so not cool.

I don't know how one is supposed to respond to that so I just kind of look at him, probably not unlike the gif up there but wearing a mask, and then excuse myself to go finish my tote of toys.
A couple of minutes later I notice another regular at the register so I head up there to ring him up and he mentions the closing. Seriously, Island, this has been ongoing for awhile now. But I digress. Then other dude comes through the line and says, "yeah, see, we NEED you. He gets it."

-_-


Now... the one that really made me wish I could've just sat down right after it happened.

So. There's this adorkable dude who comes in a fair bit due to his job hours and whatnot. And he and I would chat for a little bit and while some of the stuff he'd talk about would be a little out there, it wasn't weird. Just unusual, and frequently on the science end of things. Like he'd learn a new thing and share it and it was cute. This kept happening and sometimes the things he'd say were borderline flirty but I cannot stress the social awkwardness on both sides enough, k? So I wasn't really sure until someone else confirmed they were getting the same vibes from him towards me.

I decided that if I wasn't imagining it and it came up for real, this would be one of the few times I didn't politely decline. Or not so politely decline, depending on the person. See the adorkable part.

I forgot, apparently, that I seem to exclusively attract the weirdos, crazies, and the old (weirdos/crazies) these days.

First red flag was one of the mornings I stayed after my usual time to leave and he was there, which almost never happens. Like I think that's the first time I've seen him there that early/late. I'm putting my carts of stuff away which took forever, and he flags me down and asks something about the lady who took over for me. She's a gruff old lady but I like her, and I said as much. He was upset because he thought she was being super rude to/about me. Fuck if I know because I wasn't there for whatever conversation they had. But I also know she has no filter, whatsoever, and says whatever she thinks whenever she thinks it. So if she was mad at me for something, she'd have said it, and if she cared enough to want me to know it, I'd know it. *shrug* So that seemed a bit odd but whatever.

Now for the fun part. After that he'd gone back to his chatty awkward flirty ways. Pretty sure this was the time frame for someone else getting the same vibes from him, anyway. He comes through the line and somehow I just knew this was going to be the time he said whatever he had to say.

What he had to say was basically this: he thinks he can scientifically prove God exists and really wants to talk this over with me. Heavily implied like outside the confines of my work environment but no move is made beyond that. Because he's so wrapped up in the proving God exists thing.

My eyebrows probably both lifted clear off my face. I know the next girl in line had a similar expression because after he left, practically floating on air at sharing this thought, she looks dead at me and says, I am so sorry you have to deal with that.

Like...wtf.

He laid low for a bit after that and then came back and went hard on the God bit recently, just in case I somehow thought I imagined that. I did not!

I don't have the words and it's been a month or something since this happened.