(no subject)

If someone you like/care about says to you that there was some Blair Witch style standing in a corner shit at work, do you just ignore that or do you fucking ask a follow up question?


Obviously you ask the follow up.


Friday night got fucking weird. Thursday and Friday night were both stupidly cold, with Thursday being the invading damp kind of cold while Friday was mildly better... but still fucking cold. So at some point we wound up with some people in the store that were acting a little... odd. One I'd be willing to bet has Tourette's, as he was acting pretty similarly to people I know have it. The other was wandering around the store with a mask hanging half off their face and just giving off oh fuck me, what now vibes. I spent damn near an hour trying to get my SFL to answer so I could take my lunch and eventually, with four customers in the store and my blood sugar about to bottom out, I went to the back and woke the SFL up. Because of COURSE he fell asleep. The office is warm and toasty and he was sitting and watching learning videos (allegedly). Of course he was gonna fall asleep.

I let him know there are customers, one of whom is acting odd and doesn't grasp mask ettiquette, so maybe glove up, and then go on my break. I hit the bathroom first so I can wash my hands and stuff, and then go enjoy my lunch. I finish and about 5 minutes before the end of my break, I go hit the bathroom because sometimes it turns out you can guzzle too much water.

I walk in and notice the light is on. Dammit, someone is/was in there. I look up and ahead and see the very tall, skinny dude in his parka standing in the stall with the door half open. Uh... he realizes I'm there, says he's sorry, and then goes back into the stall for... something, then leaves the stall and heads for the sink. I tell him it's okay (spoke too soon) and go into the stall where I realize he's been dipping things in the toilet (there's liquid all around the toilet, but also items have very clearly been IN the toilet), including a playing card he's put on the toilet paper holder, the false lashes package that someone clearly stole and stashed in the stall trashcan, and also left a shit stain on the toilet seat. In the however long it takes to tally up the ways in which cleaning this is now NOT MY JOB, the sink is still running at full blast. I decide fuck it, I will just hold it, possibly forever, and wash my hands in the breakroom. I unlock and open the stall and immediately curse my own stupidity.

Because he's not at the sink.

Nor has he left.


He's standing in the corner, Blair Witch style, kind of shaking and murmuring to himself.


Making this SO MUCH WORSE is the fact that the corner he's chosen? Is the one right in front of the door.

I can't leave without having to go past him as he's having his moment. I stand there for a minute wondering wtf. I don't want to startle him because WTF but also I am not staying in there while he sorts things out or flips his lid or whatever the fuck is going on.

When a minute passes and he's still busy losing his religion or what the fuck ever, I clear my throat and in my most Southern Auntie voice say, "Honey, I'm gonna need you to move away from the door so I can leave, and you should also turn the water off, okay." He moves towards the sink and I get the fuck out, heading for the breakroom (yay for it having a lock!), wash my hands, and then go tell K about the fuckery. On the way, I realize that in his weird state, he's fucking trashed the store. There are playing cards placed all over the aisles and he's left a cup of coffee on the family planning aisle, put an adult toy with the kids toys, and a zillion other things. He eventually comes up to the front as I'm telling K about the fuckery and asks where the bus stop is.

It's 4am on a Saturday morning. The bus doesn't run for another four hours at least. Also, the bus stop is on the other side of our parking lot and kind of hard to miss, but okay. I point it out to him from behind the counter and wonder where the fuck he got the white jacket/shirt/whatever he's now got on his head. Also also, K thinks he's wearing lipstick and I'm thinking it's something else, but it doesn't really matter since he then thanks me for the info and says he just got out of the hospital before shuffling off.

I would bet dollars to donuts that he means he was under a psych hold that let out because he wouldn't be the first kicked out in the wee morning hours on a weekend, but K takes it as he must have COVID (and it's possible dude did say something to our pharmacist, so who knows) and goes around the store spraying everything he can with store brand Lysol.

Considering our other K coworker did turn out to have COVID (and wasn't wearing a mask), this might not be the worst idea ever had.

But yeah, no. I'm gonna need the bathrooms to not be open to the public anymore after a certain time because what the actual fuck.