Bridal Shower recap, part one
Oct. 19th, 2006 12:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
impy... So. The weekend of DOOM. I should probably have something to say about something that cost me so frickin' much, eh?
Okay, refresher course for those who zoned out or tuned in late. Ari is getting married in January. For whatever reason [one I am not privy to] she and Penny decided her shower would be in October. Whatever. As bridesmaids, Cass, Penny, and I were to plot this shindig. That seemed fine in theory until you realized that when you put me in a room with Penny, I'm pretty much incapable of speaking up when I have half an opinion on something. I'm pretty good at the sneaky, underhanded comment that sways us away from something I loathe, but otherwise, meh. I could say a big part of that is that she represents a big chunk of my HS years, but it's not really that. Part of it is just plain jealousy and another part is that I'm a pushover.
Thing is, Cass is extremely opinionated, as is Penny. Together? Not a lot was ever resolved. About the only things they could agree on? Cheap.
So the plan, as much as we ever had one, was to meet up Friday [the day before the shower] and buy all the food and extras then. In a fit of... something, I bought Cinderella plates and napkins because Ari is Disney love. Come on, you don't get engaged and then plan to honeymoon at a Disney theme park unless you love 'em.
The actual shower was to be held at cottage two at the park. Cass and I were under the impression that the invites said the park and anyone wishing to attend would call when they realized how big the stupid thing was... and Ari was to spread the word about the cottage. Not because we laugh in the face of etiquette. No, this was because Penny and Ari never forked the invites over. We never saw them.
Kay, so Thursday I realized the money for the cottage had still not been taken from my account. Being halfway intelligent, I called and asked if the contract had been returned [signed] to them. Nope. Nothing. After cursing a blue streak, I called Cass and bugged her. There was a big to do about the cake, settled, and Mom went off to order it because for some reason she wanted the order put in in person. Kay. I passed out eventually.
This, my darlings, takes us to Friday. After various phone calls and an abbreviated nap, I woke to find out that Lisa and her little family would be shadowing us all day. To be honest, I've waffled on how much I like Lisa ever since I met her. Sometimes we're peachy... but ever since she introduced herself to my boyfriend by going on about what a bitch I am and then proceeded to smile sweetly when I arrived, I've pretty much avoided her. But now you're shoving her on me for the entire day? Are you insane?
Lisa was the least of my problems. Cass and her caravan arrived late and when they stopped for lunch, Cass nearly bit Matt's head off repeatedly because of the lateness. It was a little unnerving.
Finally we make it to the dollar store just in time for the sky to open up overhead. Fab. I'll spare you more boring details. The facts, ma'am:
As Penny was buying other things, she offered to pay for the whole thing and we'd pay her back. Uh... okay. Our portion turned out to be about 13 bucks for the various prizes, bags, and tissue paper goodness. Yes, that means the wrapping cost more than the actual prize. :p
For whatever reason, we all split up. Cass and I to hit our respective banks, Penny to rescue Ari. We were all to meet at Costco within half an hour. No biggie. Money in pockets, we hit Costco and Cass continued to snipe at Matt.
Costco brought Lisa and her baby into the store with us. The best part of the whole trip was Penny flashing her card and then kind of indicating the rest of us and saying, "they're with me." What it seemed like was, "These are my bitches, kay?"
Costco was a bit of a waste, if you ask me. We ended up with a ton of beef for burgers and whatnot. Enough hot dogs to feed a family for a month. [It was about four packs all slapped together, but by the end of our weekend, we had used exactly one pack. One.] Buns, fruit ... salad-ish thing, and chips for Cass's dip were also bought. Somehow this topped us out around $45. Which Penny again paid for. Why exactly did we go to the bank then?
The joy then happened. The boys [Lisa's and Matt] had made a secret trip to the liquor store, so you had Cass trying to be very vague about where they were and we finally sent Penny on her way. 45 minutes later they showed up. Naturally their girly counterparts were less than thrilled. In the meantime, I'd made a grocery list because we still had junk to buy. Onward to the store!
Where we hit highlight number TWO. While picking out hand soap for the cottage, this freaky guy walks towards us, points, and shouts, "That's what I'm talking about!" I look around to make sure Cass and Lisa aren't swapping spit, or that none of our shirts have crawled up over our heads or something. Nope, he's pointing at the baby and then proceeds to launch into this insane speech about the importance of babies, children, something, and backs everything up with bits from the bible. Which, I gotta say, is rather freaky. But the best part is towards the end when we've snagged all we need from the aisle and I'm trying to herd them away from the crazy man. He begins with the quotes again, only this time I'm positive it's a love song. I don't remember which one, but I know full well it's some soft rock crap that they've played at work... and he's treating it as if it's been ripped straight from the bible. Ohmylord. With that, we flee the aisle.
Much bitching, one stop to Sonic, another to the liquor store, and a long wait in Friday rush hour traffic and we arrive at the registration place. They still haven't received the contract and now can't find it, but I'm guessing they let Cass slide since this is her fourth or fifth rental. She's a pro, honestly.
I should mention that when we pulled into the park, we were given very specific directions to the cottages. These directions were so wrong it was funny. We were lost two minutes within entering the park. Oi. See, Sunshine at the Gate forgot the most important part. You make an immediate turn and then follow her directions. Otherwise? You get a good look at the Festival of Lights... without them being turned on, so it all looks kinda lame.
We pile out of our clown cars and stumble up the stairs and into the cottage. Which is, I must say, pretty awesome in it's simplicity. I've always loved these things and time has not changed that. It doesn't hurt that my bedroom is huge. :D The cars are unpacked and the fridge is stocked. The cupboards are as well and things we won't need until Saturday are put out of reach. Fun times. It takes awhile, but I eventually drift back to my room so I'll sleep.
Yeah, that didn't work. I don't sleep well in rooms that are not my own. About the time I was drifting off, Ari called me back. Nyargh. So I managed about half an hour of sleep before having to head back to work. Where I arrived fifteen minutes early, since we didn't know how long the drive would take and if we'd get lost.
Work was fun. Oddly enough, I work very well on a mere four hours of sleep. Yay me!
So. 6am and I leave with my bag of stuff, not to mention the tums I bought for Cass. We get 'home' and I nuke my pizza breakfast as they play a rousing game of Wake the Dead. Seems the boys didn't crash until 4:30, to hell with the fact that one of them was resuming his cross country trip to his new home and the other had to be up in time to pick me up. Geniuses, yes? Yes. Considering the noise everyone is making, I decide I'll pass out when Lisa's section has left.
Matt goes with them for various reasons. So Cass and I try and clean up and fix my phone and after awhile we realize we should sleep and sleep NOW. We even go so far as to head off to our rooms and set alarms.
We cannot sleep. So I grab my blankie, as it's frickin' cold, head out to the kitchen, and have some Dublin Mudslide for breakkie. Cass can't sleep either, so we figure out how to hand out prizes for the games. We make some more calls, we panic, the usual.
Penny arrives, we do some more last minute stuff. Mumsy is called about the tablecloths which she is loaning us. Yay. Food is set up, things are planned, it's all fab. So we sit and wait.
We look at our watches and wait some more. [By this time Cass and I have changed and are prettiful. I've even broken out the skirt for this most special of occasions. Gasp!]
I call my parents. They're just leaving. I panic as they were supposed to have been there by now. Gasp!
Noon comes and goes. No one has arrived. No one. Not a single person. Just the three of us. I don't know if anyone else panics, but I do. Just a little.
Some more time passes and I hear my father's truck, but I don't see it. So I head out to the street and flag them down.
The tables are pretty now. Mumsy is there. So we have one person. Yay?
Then another car arrives and everyone heads out to pass out the bad news about the parking. Tis Derrick's family, by the way. His mom and sister head out to park ... wherever, and his grandmother stays behind. Where I'm left to offer her something to drink. She declines and the world doesn't end. Soon the others come back and again, drinks offered. Again, declined. Then Cass offers and Penny offers and when time Ari gets there [laaaaaaaaaate!] she offers them something to drink as well. At this point I'm trying not to snicker or cry, just because.
It seems everyone got lost on their way to the cottage, couldn't find the driveway [everyone assumed that since it was cottage TWO, it would be the second driveway and sadly, not the case] and apparently there was horrible traffic everywhere. So odd. But wait, it gets better!
It seems that the invites didn't all say the party was at the park. -_-; Sooooo, there's frantic calling to those who didn't decline the invite. Ari's mom still hasn't shown yet.
We tire of waiting, so we play a few rounds of bingo and a round of the purse scavenger hunt. Wheeee. Derrick's mom? Wins both games. o_O By a landslide, no less. We play some freebie bingo and she wins that too!
Zee other Mumsy arrives, we eat, and rapidly run out of chairs. It's a good thing no one else showed up since we'd have no place to put them. As it is, I have to sit on the far side of the kitchen table, obscured by bags and the cake... and I feel like everyone has either forgotten me OR thinks I'm a terrible hostess. So I'm not really all that hungry when the burgers are served. The good thing is that everyone seems to be having a great time. So the fear that we'd all stand or sit around in terrible silence? Not. An. Issue.
A few zillion more rounds of bingo later and everyone realizes Derrick's family has the luck. Even his sister, who was losing big time in the beginning is now stomping all over our arses. Oi! We run out of prizes except for one. That one is being held for whomever wins the ring/pin game. Namely don't say "marriage", "matrimony" or "wedding." I think those were the words, anyway. About halfway through the shower, Penny has most everyone else's ring. I missed when she won Derrick's grandmother's ring, but soon I'm the only hold out. And dammit, I was holding out, too. I wanted to win something and at the very least it was funny to see how irked Penny got by the fact that she couldn't get me to slip on any of the words. Seriously, man, how hard is to avoid the first two? Exactly. Wedding was trickier, but still I managed. Finally I tired of the whole thing, turned to Penny, held out my ring, and said, "holy matrimony!" Ari then won the last prize [Penny gave it to her] and was... less than thrilled. :p
The gifts were presented and I have pictures of this. Probably all of the side of her face, but enh, no one would move so I could get a clear shot. She seemed happy with her haul, which is good because she got some nice stuff, man. A picture frame with the wedding invite on one side and a space for their wedding picture on the other, a tablecloth for the table she inherited from her family, pretty glasses, sheets [from meeee!], a Buddha and cookbook from mumsy, and two or three people forked over the lingerie. :p
So Derrick's family left, Ari's mom's roommate and her son had left prior to the cake, and Mumsy was in the process of leaving when...
Dun dun DUN... Ari's mother and Penny tag team mom and declare she can't leave! It's not fair! She should stay for the second party. The smutty sex toy party.
And I am guilted into letting my mother stay for what is sure to be the single most embarassing afternoon EVER.
Which is where I leave you.
Okay, refresher course for those who zoned out or tuned in late. Ari is getting married in January. For whatever reason [one I am not privy to] she and Penny decided her shower would be in October. Whatever. As bridesmaids, Cass, Penny, and I were to plot this shindig. That seemed fine in theory until you realized that when you put me in a room with Penny, I'm pretty much incapable of speaking up when I have half an opinion on something. I'm pretty good at the sneaky, underhanded comment that sways us away from something I loathe, but otherwise, meh. I could say a big part of that is that she represents a big chunk of my HS years, but it's not really that. Part of it is just plain jealousy and another part is that I'm a pushover.
Thing is, Cass is extremely opinionated, as is Penny. Together? Not a lot was ever resolved. About the only things they could agree on? Cheap.
So the plan, as much as we ever had one, was to meet up Friday [the day before the shower] and buy all the food and extras then. In a fit of... something, I bought Cinderella plates and napkins because Ari is Disney love. Come on, you don't get engaged and then plan to honeymoon at a Disney theme park unless you love 'em.
The actual shower was to be held at cottage two at the park. Cass and I were under the impression that the invites said the park and anyone wishing to attend would call when they realized how big the stupid thing was... and Ari was to spread the word about the cottage. Not because we laugh in the face of etiquette. No, this was because Penny and Ari never forked the invites over. We never saw them.
Kay, so Thursday I realized the money for the cottage had still not been taken from my account. Being halfway intelligent, I called and asked if the contract had been returned [signed] to them. Nope. Nothing. After cursing a blue streak, I called Cass and bugged her. There was a big to do about the cake, settled, and Mom went off to order it because for some reason she wanted the order put in in person. Kay. I passed out eventually.
This, my darlings, takes us to Friday. After various phone calls and an abbreviated nap, I woke to find out that Lisa and her little family would be shadowing us all day. To be honest, I've waffled on how much I like Lisa ever since I met her. Sometimes we're peachy... but ever since she introduced herself to my boyfriend by going on about what a bitch I am and then proceeded to smile sweetly when I arrived, I've pretty much avoided her. But now you're shoving her on me for the entire day? Are you insane?
Lisa was the least of my problems. Cass and her caravan arrived late and when they stopped for lunch, Cass nearly bit Matt's head off repeatedly because of the lateness. It was a little unnerving.
Finally we make it to the dollar store just in time for the sky to open up overhead. Fab. I'll spare you more boring details. The facts, ma'am:
As Penny was buying other things, she offered to pay for the whole thing and we'd pay her back. Uh... okay. Our portion turned out to be about 13 bucks for the various prizes, bags, and tissue paper goodness. Yes, that means the wrapping cost more than the actual prize. :p
For whatever reason, we all split up. Cass and I to hit our respective banks, Penny to rescue Ari. We were all to meet at Costco within half an hour. No biggie. Money in pockets, we hit Costco and Cass continued to snipe at Matt.
Costco brought Lisa and her baby into the store with us. The best part of the whole trip was Penny flashing her card and then kind of indicating the rest of us and saying, "they're with me." What it seemed like was, "These are my bitches, kay?"
Costco was a bit of a waste, if you ask me. We ended up with a ton of beef for burgers and whatnot. Enough hot dogs to feed a family for a month. [It was about four packs all slapped together, but by the end of our weekend, we had used exactly one pack. One.] Buns, fruit ... salad-ish thing, and chips for Cass's dip were also bought. Somehow this topped us out around $45. Which Penny again paid for. Why exactly did we go to the bank then?
The joy then happened. The boys [Lisa's and Matt] had made a secret trip to the liquor store, so you had Cass trying to be very vague about where they were and we finally sent Penny on her way. 45 minutes later they showed up. Naturally their girly counterparts were less than thrilled. In the meantime, I'd made a grocery list because we still had junk to buy. Onward to the store!
Where we hit highlight number TWO. While picking out hand soap for the cottage, this freaky guy walks towards us, points, and shouts, "That's what I'm talking about!" I look around to make sure Cass and Lisa aren't swapping spit, or that none of our shirts have crawled up over our heads or something. Nope, he's pointing at the baby and then proceeds to launch into this insane speech about the importance of babies, children, something, and backs everything up with bits from the bible. Which, I gotta say, is rather freaky. But the best part is towards the end when we've snagged all we need from the aisle and I'm trying to herd them away from the crazy man. He begins with the quotes again, only this time I'm positive it's a love song. I don't remember which one, but I know full well it's some soft rock crap that they've played at work... and he's treating it as if it's been ripped straight from the bible. Ohmylord. With that, we flee the aisle.
Much bitching, one stop to Sonic, another to the liquor store, and a long wait in Friday rush hour traffic and we arrive at the registration place. They still haven't received the contract and now can't find it, but I'm guessing they let Cass slide since this is her fourth or fifth rental. She's a pro, honestly.
I should mention that when we pulled into the park, we were given very specific directions to the cottages. These directions were so wrong it was funny. We were lost two minutes within entering the park. Oi. See, Sunshine at the Gate forgot the most important part. You make an immediate turn and then follow her directions. Otherwise? You get a good look at the Festival of Lights... without them being turned on, so it all looks kinda lame.
We pile out of our clown cars and stumble up the stairs and into the cottage. Which is, I must say, pretty awesome in it's simplicity. I've always loved these things and time has not changed that. It doesn't hurt that my bedroom is huge. :D The cars are unpacked and the fridge is stocked. The cupboards are as well and things we won't need until Saturday are put out of reach. Fun times. It takes awhile, but I eventually drift back to my room so I'll sleep.
Yeah, that didn't work. I don't sleep well in rooms that are not my own. About the time I was drifting off, Ari called me back. Nyargh. So I managed about half an hour of sleep before having to head back to work. Where I arrived fifteen minutes early, since we didn't know how long the drive would take and if we'd get lost.
Work was fun. Oddly enough, I work very well on a mere four hours of sleep. Yay me!
So. 6am and I leave with my bag of stuff, not to mention the tums I bought for Cass. We get 'home' and I nuke my pizza breakfast as they play a rousing game of Wake the Dead. Seems the boys didn't crash until 4:30, to hell with the fact that one of them was resuming his cross country trip to his new home and the other had to be up in time to pick me up. Geniuses, yes? Yes. Considering the noise everyone is making, I decide I'll pass out when Lisa's section has left.
Matt goes with them for various reasons. So Cass and I try and clean up and fix my phone and after awhile we realize we should sleep and sleep NOW. We even go so far as to head off to our rooms and set alarms.
We cannot sleep. So I grab my blankie, as it's frickin' cold, head out to the kitchen, and have some Dublin Mudslide for breakkie. Cass can't sleep either, so we figure out how to hand out prizes for the games. We make some more calls, we panic, the usual.
Penny arrives, we do some more last minute stuff. Mumsy is called about the tablecloths which she is loaning us. Yay. Food is set up, things are planned, it's all fab. So we sit and wait.
We look at our watches and wait some more. [By this time Cass and I have changed and are prettiful. I've even broken out the skirt for this most special of occasions. Gasp!]
I call my parents. They're just leaving. I panic as they were supposed to have been there by now. Gasp!
Noon comes and goes. No one has arrived. No one. Not a single person. Just the three of us. I don't know if anyone else panics, but I do. Just a little.
Some more time passes and I hear my father's truck, but I don't see it. So I head out to the street and flag them down.
The tables are pretty now. Mumsy is there. So we have one person. Yay?
Then another car arrives and everyone heads out to pass out the bad news about the parking. Tis Derrick's family, by the way. His mom and sister head out to park ... wherever, and his grandmother stays behind. Where I'm left to offer her something to drink. She declines and the world doesn't end. Soon the others come back and again, drinks offered. Again, declined. Then Cass offers and Penny offers and when time Ari gets there [laaaaaaaaaate!] she offers them something to drink as well. At this point I'm trying not to snicker or cry, just because.
It seems everyone got lost on their way to the cottage, couldn't find the driveway [everyone assumed that since it was cottage TWO, it would be the second driveway and sadly, not the case] and apparently there was horrible traffic everywhere. So odd. But wait, it gets better!
It seems that the invites didn't all say the party was at the park. -_-; Sooooo, there's frantic calling to those who didn't decline the invite. Ari's mom still hasn't shown yet.
We tire of waiting, so we play a few rounds of bingo and a round of the purse scavenger hunt. Wheeee. Derrick's mom? Wins both games. o_O By a landslide, no less. We play some freebie bingo and she wins that too!
Zee other Mumsy arrives, we eat, and rapidly run out of chairs. It's a good thing no one else showed up since we'd have no place to put them. As it is, I have to sit on the far side of the kitchen table, obscured by bags and the cake... and I feel like everyone has either forgotten me OR thinks I'm a terrible hostess. So I'm not really all that hungry when the burgers are served. The good thing is that everyone seems to be having a great time. So the fear that we'd all stand or sit around in terrible silence? Not. An. Issue.
A few zillion more rounds of bingo later and everyone realizes Derrick's family has the luck. Even his sister, who was losing big time in the beginning is now stomping all over our arses. Oi! We run out of prizes except for one. That one is being held for whomever wins the ring/pin game. Namely don't say "marriage", "matrimony" or "wedding." I think those were the words, anyway. About halfway through the shower, Penny has most everyone else's ring. I missed when she won Derrick's grandmother's ring, but soon I'm the only hold out. And dammit, I was holding out, too. I wanted to win something and at the very least it was funny to see how irked Penny got by the fact that she couldn't get me to slip on any of the words. Seriously, man, how hard is to avoid the first two? Exactly. Wedding was trickier, but still I managed. Finally I tired of the whole thing, turned to Penny, held out my ring, and said, "holy matrimony!" Ari then won the last prize [Penny gave it to her] and was... less than thrilled. :p
The gifts were presented and I have pictures of this. Probably all of the side of her face, but enh, no one would move so I could get a clear shot. She seemed happy with her haul, which is good because she got some nice stuff, man. A picture frame with the wedding invite on one side and a space for their wedding picture on the other, a tablecloth for the table she inherited from her family, pretty glasses, sheets [from meeee!], a Buddha and cookbook from mumsy, and two or three people forked over the lingerie. :p
So Derrick's family left, Ari's mom's roommate and her son had left prior to the cake, and Mumsy was in the process of leaving when...
Dun dun DUN... Ari's mother and Penny tag team mom and declare she can't leave! It's not fair! She should stay for the second party. The smutty sex toy party.
And I am guilted into letting my mother stay for what is sure to be the single most embarassing afternoon EVER.
Which is where I leave you.
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