(no subject)

[impy]

So, what am I planning for my first day of vacation?
Potentially breaking up with the invisible boyfriend.

I don't ask for much, really. I don't ask for presents, I don't ask for giant gestures of the grand persuasion, I don't ask that you travel the however many miles on a monthly basis, or that you learn the fine art of smoke signals or something. I don't ask that you even move to the same city as I do, although you have brought this up numerous times and I've been both a little chilly in reception [for reasons I should think will become obvious] and also fairly enthusiastic, while not asking, "Well, what the hell took you so long?"

I do, however, require that you don't fall back into the habit of falling off the planet for long stretches of time without any. fucking. contact. I'm fairly understanding [I'm told many of the above are, and have been, deal breakers for other people, k?] but the last time you did this shit, I found you curled up in a fucking bottle, screaming that you wanted to die. Excuse me, my dear, if I'm not exactly loving this current bout of quiet time. Also, last time I had a really great friend to hold my hand through your bullshit. This time, while I have many a lovely, none are quite as close, nor do any of them really know you. So... um, what the hell? The last I heard, you were trying to explain why you chose to spend an hour in the parking lot getting high while I was visiting a friend. Which, btw, totally your call, although we're both well aware of how our opinions on such things differ. The problem with your plan was that your accomplice in this little act? Yeah, he was fucking driving. Since then, you've been dead quiet.

I'm tired of this. If anyone else told me the same things, I would sit them down and slap them. Hard. So... with that in mind, I don't talk about it. I don't wish to be slapped, y'know?

So. Now I have to wonder, assuming he doesn't have a fantastic excuse [and I think only a hospital stay would work], what to do? When thinks work, they work. We get each other, which is kind of amazing considering how different we are. I suspect that if we didn't have this distance dance to do, we'd have either burned out, or we'd have worked out most of our issues. I'm not saying forever and ever worked out, but decidedly less drama. Of course, none of that means jack if he keeps going missing.

The kicker here, is that Widget keeps asking about him, and each time he does, it's a little like being stabbed. Twice. One for Widget missing him and one for me.

La. Guess I can't decide anything until I talk to him.

Assuming, y'know, that I can get in touch with him at all. Woo?


The best part of this? I emailed C-ass about it, and after waiting a little less than a week, I get a short paragraph, that basically says, "You should, like, totally listen to that new Rihanna song."

FYI, I hate the pacing of the song, so her email is sitting unloved in a corner, while I try to tell myself that replying with the knowledge that I hate the song would just be petty. And rude. Still, if one speaks to you of something important and you're going to go against your normal answer, gimme more than "now go listen to this song you would normally never like anyway!"

Especially, especially when given the perfect opportunity to say and if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone. Who is this imposter and what has she done with my Cass?


Ah well. I'm off to finish ink exchange, which is definitely better now that Ash is speaking in complete sentences.