(no subject)

[impy]

Almost done with local shopping. Just small people left. Everyone else? Epiphany, bitches.

I don't think you realize: With the exception of Widget and his littlest sister, I am done. In one day.

In your face!

I'm not sure whose face, just someone's. Maybe the bitch who threw beef jerky at me this morning at work. I hope her day sucked even more after that. Hmm. It appears I have time, so I'll share.

I was helping customer A look for a Visa gift card. When she and I left the counter there was no one else around. By the time she decided that without a $25 or $50 card, she wasn't interested, we had a small line. Um, okay, weird. The lady behind her, Beef Jerky Mama, glares at me as Customer A and I go back to the register, where Customer A has already put down two items. Let me repeat that, the counter has four items. 2 pieces of beef jerky and two non-jerky items. I point to the non jerky things as BJM yanks the jerky away and Customer A nods. I ring her up and one of BJM's kids says, "I thought you were next in line."

Um, where do you think the mystical other two items came from? But Customer A asks something else and I can't point out the blinding flash of the obvious [or offer my standard, "Sorry, I was in the middle of helping her, I'll be right with you" line] and I finish out my very quick transaction with Customer A.

As A is gathering her bag and receipt, BJM throws the motherfucking jerky down on the counter, dead at me and gives me this look that clearly says, "I wanted to throw them at your face." Actually, she was also giving me this look I've come to realize over the years also tends to imply, "It's cuz I'm black, isn't it, bitch?" To which I want to slap someone and say no, it's because the world doesn't revolve around you. But it's the South and old white people get crotchety, too. So.

Threw the beef jerky down at me and gives me The Look. "Why did you help her? I was next in line."

I stare at her for a second and then remember that throwing the jerky back at her would be bad form because I guarantee you she'd bitch about it. Whatever. I inform her that I was helping A and she might have noticed A's stuff on the motherfucking counter when she put her nasty-ass jerky down. Obviously the profanity was left out as was the editorial on what I think of jerky. [Like something died your mouth, guys. Just sayin'.] "But there wasn't anyone here. I assumed I was next in line."

OHMYGOD, woman! Her stuff was on the counter! I was helping her! We came back to the register at the same time! SHUT UP!

But no. She keeps at it and I keep pointing out that hello, she's an idiot and she cuts me off, "I think you've explained it enough," and I swear to god, I wanted to tell her to go get in line at someone else's register because I. Didn't. Do. Anything. Wrong.

Realizing that nothing, but nothing, was going to convince her I wasn't just letting some woman cut her in line [stuff on the counter! What the fuck?!] I smiled [probably grimaced] and said, "Merry Christmas."

And she got whiplash, she looked so damn confused. Which she should, because I was tasting acid or that strange thing in the back of my throat when I get so embarrassed and pissed at the same time that I think, for just a moment, I might actually tell someone I don't know to fuck off. Smiled, told her merry Christmas, and wished that she'd come back and complain to D. Who would give her more attitude than I could dream of.

So, to close this, I hope you had a really shitty day, Beef Jerky Mama!

Comments

[picklepud.livejournal.com]

I would of taken the Jerky and rammed it right up her ass!

Or just told her to fuck off.
I told customers to fuck off before.

xx