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impySomeone, quick! Explain to me how the smutty from the start LKH series has one and a half sex scenes but the last Anita book had an orgy that lasted so long that people blacked out to spare us the pain of reading all about it? I finished Swallowing Darkness, and while it's been out for a little while, someone here might actually want to be 'surprised' so...
What you need to know: There is a damn good reason so many people freaked out, thinking this was the last Merry book. She's said it's not, so we'll believe her on that, but dude, there is a happily ever after ending, and not like her normal "and now I tie loose ends up, but there's still a bit of mystery floating about" endings.
Meredith's father's murderer? Revealed to no one's surprise outside the book. Of course Cel killed him, you jackasses! He's INSANE. He wanted to rule and EVERYONE has something nice to say about Essus. Everyone! So yeah, that mystery is solved. Because Cel was outed as a murderer, he was also outed as infertile, which is why Andais yanked Merry back to Faerie in the first place. She knew damn well Merry would conceive before Cel.
Anyway, you don't tell someone you killed their father and expect to live, but if you're Cel, you do. Merry makes him go all 'splodey, literally, and it's gross and leads to the abuse of the words "thicker things" which is fine once in a paragraph, but twice is more than overkill. Once more, LKH, you need someone to pretty your words up a smidge, you do. Because, well, it's sloppy and if you're so worried about your fictional men coming across as the sex gods they believe themselves to be [hey, padded room?] you should also want to present them [and everything else] in as good a light as possible.
Merry and Sholto are crowned King and Queen of the sluagh, and Merry and Doyle are crowned King and Queen of the Unseelie, but give those crowns up to save Frost.
That's right kiddos, Frost is missing for less than a book and they save his ass from being a stag. The fuckery is this hell? He's been a stag for what, a fucking day? Less than a week, even with all the time jumps going on... and they get him back.
I need something between Whedon's love of torturing my little shipper soul and this "oh, oh, it hurts too much!" crap. I need middle ground! With faeries. And stuff. I want to pretend, for a moment, that someone will die and stay dead and it won't be the bad guys. I need the suspense to be killing me, man. I need it to hurt, but in the best sort of way. I need there to be a chance that when it all ends, it'll end a way different than what I expected, but just as good.
I dunno. Swallowing Darkness has it's moments, but I swear, it's like the world's longest string of fluff scenes. They're all repeated, except for the sex [shocking, I know] and... it's kind of difficult to care at times.
I will say that it's even more cruel of Merry to string the other 'fathers' along when it's clear that losing Galen, or Rhys would hurt, but not kill her the way Doyle and Frost would. Don't they, I don't know, deserve to have someone actually love them as much as she loves Frost and Doyle? Because, I promise, I can buy their love triangle. I could, in theory, even buy a larger circle, if that's what LKH chose to go with. But she didn't. Merry might love the others, or just really like them, but they deserve someone who actually loves them.
But I could just be completely biased towards Rhys as he's been my favorite since the start. *cough*
Oh, and I still say that Merry having twins, but six fathers is the biggest, baddest, worst cop-out in the history of EVER.
But naming a blond dude in the book Dawson finally made me giggle because I kind of pictured TV Dawson just to cheer myself up.
I have $35 in gift cards to Books-A-Million. Do your best to sway me to another book love. Go on, you know you want to. And even if I don't spend my cards on your suggestions, I might go to the library, or wait til I have money for another full-fledged book-binge. Not the next paycheck, but the one after. Next paycheck pays off cable bills as well as Dad's birthday. We hope.
Mwerp!
Oh, and pictures of my newest dolly loves will appear sometime today or tomorrow. Really. Promise.
What you need to know: There is a damn good reason so many people freaked out, thinking this was the last Merry book. She's said it's not, so we'll believe her on that, but dude, there is a happily ever after ending, and not like her normal "and now I tie loose ends up, but there's still a bit of mystery floating about" endings.
Meredith's father's murderer? Revealed to no one's surprise outside the book. Of course Cel killed him, you jackasses! He's INSANE. He wanted to rule and EVERYONE has something nice to say about Essus. Everyone! So yeah, that mystery is solved. Because Cel was outed as a murderer, he was also outed as infertile, which is why Andais yanked Merry back to Faerie in the first place. She knew damn well Merry would conceive before Cel.
Anyway, you don't tell someone you killed their father and expect to live, but if you're Cel, you do. Merry makes him go all 'splodey, literally, and it's gross and leads to the abuse of the words "thicker things" which is fine once in a paragraph, but twice is more than overkill. Once more, LKH, you need someone to pretty your words up a smidge, you do. Because, well, it's sloppy and if you're so worried about your fictional men coming across as the sex gods they believe themselves to be [hey, padded room?] you should also want to present them [and everything else] in as good a light as possible.
Merry and Sholto are crowned King and Queen of the sluagh, and Merry and Doyle are crowned King and Queen of the Unseelie, but give those crowns up to save Frost.
That's right kiddos, Frost is missing for less than a book and they save his ass from being a stag. The fuckery is this hell? He's been a stag for what, a fucking day? Less than a week, even with all the time jumps going on... and they get him back.
I need something between Whedon's love of torturing my little shipper soul and this "oh, oh, it hurts too much!" crap. I need middle ground! With faeries. And stuff. I want to pretend, for a moment, that someone will die and stay dead and it won't be the bad guys. I need the suspense to be killing me, man. I need it to hurt, but in the best sort of way. I need there to be a chance that when it all ends, it'll end a way different than what I expected, but just as good.
I dunno. Swallowing Darkness has it's moments, but I swear, it's like the world's longest string of fluff scenes. They're all repeated, except for the sex [shocking, I know] and... it's kind of difficult to care at times.
I will say that it's even more cruel of Merry to string the other 'fathers' along when it's clear that losing Galen, or Rhys would hurt, but not kill her the way Doyle and Frost would. Don't they, I don't know, deserve to have someone actually love them as much as she loves Frost and Doyle? Because, I promise, I can buy their love triangle. I could, in theory, even buy a larger circle, if that's what LKH chose to go with. But she didn't. Merry might love the others, or just really like them, but they deserve someone who actually loves them.
But I could just be completely biased towards Rhys as he's been my favorite since the start. *cough*
Oh, and I still say that Merry having twins, but six fathers is the biggest, baddest, worst cop-out in the history of EVER.
But naming a blond dude in the book Dawson finally made me giggle because I kind of pictured TV Dawson just to cheer myself up.
I have $35 in gift cards to Books-A-Million. Do your best to sway me to another book love. Go on, you know you want to. And even if I don't spend my cards on your suggestions, I might go to the library, or wait til I have money for another full-fledged book-binge. Not the next paycheck, but the one after. Next paycheck pays off cable bills as well as Dad's birthday. We hope.
Mwerp!
Oh, and pictures of my newest dolly loves will appear sometime today or tomorrow. Really. Promise.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-29 12:34 am (UTC)I highly recommend anything by Francisca Lia Block.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-29 12:48 am (UTC)I haven't really had any good fiction lately. ;_;
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-29 11:45 am (UTC)Annnnnnnnd I've been meaning to see which FLB books have come out since I last looked. Genius!