she smiles way too much
Mar. 28th, 2009 09:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
impyI'm giving myself part of this impending vacation to pick at my emotional woes and then dude, we're getting over this one way or another. Cuz, yeah. The random kick to the kidneys is getting really old and it's not like I can just chatter on about it to anyone because, well, let's be honest. You'd like to pretend your audience gives half a flying fig, y'know? *imagines flying figs*
The anniversaries of doom are impending. Well, actually, today is also the super fun day of joy as well. I'll share that story for those stupid enough to have clicked. :P I think I've shared this one, but what the hell.
When I was sixteen, I was a moron. I say this like I'm not a moron now, or that any sixteen year old is safe from being a moron at one time or another. Anyway. Had this guy friend online who suddenly seemed interested which was bizarre and weird and not really expected. Things were always insane and I thank my lucky stars that the majority of this... whatever you call it... took place online and not in person because I went half crazy even with the distance that keeps you semi-protected even as it makes other factors worse. Liked the guy well enough, wasn't imagining happily ever after in case you thought I was completely typically stupid sixteen. I'm leaving a lot out intentionally, but we'll skate by on the fact that drama was this guy's drug of choice. Seriously.
Anyway, the day I realized that nothing would ever really come of this other than an addiction to Excedrin and feeling like a jackass for the next ten odd years, was the day I got a call from Cass. Now, see, nothing really out of the ordinary there. Only she was cagey and this was before she specialized in cagey. In fact, this is where she learned that particular skill. She mentions she talked to him and this was a bit odd as he'd fallen off the radar and whatnot and at the time, I think he was ticked at her for something and he could hold a grudge. Drama! Anyway. Thing is, most of his drama stemmed from his ex. Whom he was Serious about. SERIOUS, people. But they broke up. (what's this rebound of which you speak?) And they'd actually planned to get hitched on his birthday. Or maybe the week before. It was set for around now in any case.
And he went psychotic when the day came and went and the realization that what he'd planned just wasn't ever gonna happen on this planet Earth. Trashed just about everything that actually mattered. So she tells me this. More maddeningly than I am now because she'd stop and start and get distracted and it's like asking someone to stab you, really, when they give you news like that. "Hey, that guy you kinda thought might at least be Something? Yeah. No. And here's why."
I'll freely admit that while I'm a wimp in regards to physical pain, I'm an emotional masochist. But even I draw the line somewhere, but I also find it maddening to be told half a story and have someone clam up. So. Yeah. I remember it was actually still cold at the time, and I remember the lights weren't on when she told me, but it was still that lingering sort of winter afternoon.
But that has nothing to do with anything other than the date, as today is his birthday and I hope he's much happier than he was the last I heard from him. Truthfully, sarcasm not included in this offer.
April 1st brings the day I started working at Walgreens overnight. I think I did my training on the 27th of March, but I count April Fool's day as my anniversary as it's easier to remember. So that's the good anniversary. :D
The bad is that it's what I consider my anniversary with the most recent ex. Yeah. I know. But you see how far you get without the joy of the door slamming, voices raised so that the neighbors wonder if maybe the cops will appear, and something getting thrown sort of breakup. Or even the, "so. you? Yeah, me neither." type.
Honestly not sure how well I'll be taking things. At the moment, I've got episodes of Psych, so I'm good. Plans for whiskey sours. Yeah. Good, good times.
If you ignore the nine billion memories and all. :P
So. Anyway. Paid off my two bills that were looming over my head. Our fridge has crapped out, yet again. At least this time it waited until the ... wait. I'm not sure it did wait until the trip to the store had been scheduled but not happened. *muse* Oh well. This time we are prepared! Except, y'know, financially. :P If we can find the number of the last guy who worked on it, then we'll be set.
I bought my easter goodies from work. They're clearancing out the Jane stuff and I bought... quite a bit, well. For me it was, anyway. Plan on going back for another thing tonight. Have coupon you see. Probably won't get all that I've got stashed. But... shiny things demand a second thought, just in case.
Sucks to be the smokers of the world. Tax hike goes into effect Wednesday as well. I... don't understand why we raised prices a couple of weeks ago, though. Reason #33 I don't smoke, I guess.
The anniversaries of doom are impending. Well, actually, today is also the super fun day of joy as well. I'll share that story for those stupid enough to have clicked. :P I think I've shared this one, but what the hell.
When I was sixteen, I was a moron. I say this like I'm not a moron now, or that any sixteen year old is safe from being a moron at one time or another. Anyway. Had this guy friend online who suddenly seemed interested which was bizarre and weird and not really expected. Things were always insane and I thank my lucky stars that the majority of this... whatever you call it... took place online and not in person because I went half crazy even with the distance that keeps you semi-protected even as it makes other factors worse. Liked the guy well enough, wasn't imagining happily ever after in case you thought I was completely typically stupid sixteen. I'm leaving a lot out intentionally, but we'll skate by on the fact that drama was this guy's drug of choice. Seriously.
Anyway, the day I realized that nothing would ever really come of this other than an addiction to Excedrin and feeling like a jackass for the next ten odd years, was the day I got a call from Cass. Now, see, nothing really out of the ordinary there. Only she was cagey and this was before she specialized in cagey. In fact, this is where she learned that particular skill. She mentions she talked to him and this was a bit odd as he'd fallen off the radar and whatnot and at the time, I think he was ticked at her for something and he could hold a grudge. Drama! Anyway. Thing is, most of his drama stemmed from his ex. Whom he was Serious about. SERIOUS, people. But they broke up. (what's this rebound of which you speak?) And they'd actually planned to get hitched on his birthday. Or maybe the week before. It was set for around now in any case.
And he went psychotic when the day came and went and the realization that what he'd planned just wasn't ever gonna happen on this planet Earth. Trashed just about everything that actually mattered. So she tells me this. More maddeningly than I am now because she'd stop and start and get distracted and it's like asking someone to stab you, really, when they give you news like that. "Hey, that guy you kinda thought might at least be Something? Yeah. No. And here's why."
I'll freely admit that while I'm a wimp in regards to physical pain, I'm an emotional masochist. But even I draw the line somewhere, but I also find it maddening to be told half a story and have someone clam up. So. Yeah. I remember it was actually still cold at the time, and I remember the lights weren't on when she told me, but it was still that lingering sort of winter afternoon.
But that has nothing to do with anything other than the date, as today is his birthday and I hope he's much happier than he was the last I heard from him. Truthfully, sarcasm not included in this offer.
April 1st brings the day I started working at Walgreens overnight. I think I did my training on the 27th of March, but I count April Fool's day as my anniversary as it's easier to remember. So that's the good anniversary. :D
The bad is that it's what I consider my anniversary with the most recent ex. Yeah. I know. But you see how far you get without the joy of the door slamming, voices raised so that the neighbors wonder if maybe the cops will appear, and something getting thrown sort of breakup. Or even the, "so. you? Yeah, me neither." type.
Honestly not sure how well I'll be taking things. At the moment, I've got episodes of Psych, so I'm good. Plans for whiskey sours. Yeah. Good, good times.
If you ignore the nine billion memories and all. :P
So. Anyway. Paid off my two bills that were looming over my head. Our fridge has crapped out, yet again. At least this time it waited until the ... wait. I'm not sure it did wait until the trip to the store had been scheduled but not happened. *muse* Oh well. This time we are prepared! Except, y'know, financially. :P If we can find the number of the last guy who worked on it, then we'll be set.
I bought my easter goodies from work. They're clearancing out the Jane stuff and I bought... quite a bit, well. For me it was, anyway. Plan on going back for another thing tonight. Have coupon you see. Probably won't get all that I've got stashed. But... shiny things demand a second thought, just in case.
Sucks to be the smokers of the world. Tax hike goes into effect Wednesday as well. I... don't understand why we raised prices a couple of weeks ago, though. Reason #33 I don't smoke, I guess.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-28 08:32 pm (UTC)And yeah, people should never smoke. It makes (me have) stuffy noses and breathing problems. Which is why I should stop smoking - I'm not even a smoker. I bum and I occasionally buy a pack when I'm stressed and it really just makes everything worse. Bad nicotine! BAD!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-29 12:00 pm (UTC)I don't get the allure of smoking, though I know it obviously exists for a lot of people. It still cracks me up that my brother used to be such a bitch about my mom smoking when we were kids that he wouldn't ride in the front seat because of the smell... and by the time he was a teenager, he was well on his way to a pack-a-day. Then again, back in his day, smokes were cheap! When even SC is hiking prices, you know there's a problem.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-30 05:47 am (UTC);) You know, I was just wondering why we don't exchange numbers. I bet we could bitch on the phone for HOURS!