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impyI don't want to be one of those annoying people who is constantly nattering on about the cute/insane things my child does, particularly since I do not have a child, but sometimes... Sometimes the nephew provides me with laughs that I must share, lest they bust my sides and my sides only.
I truly don't remember starting our Fall Fundraisers the week after school began. I thought they gave us two weeks so that parents weren't quite as strapped by all those pesky school supply lists and had probably been paid again. Apparently the new school regime does not believe in such logical thinking, as Widge came home today loaded with school fundraiser things.
The first that made me choke back a giggle was the SAIL program selling aluminum water bottles. For $9 a pop. Then I looked at the various Scholastic crack-dealings and that was nice, although I didn't see as much as I would have expected to love. Sadness.
But the ultimate wait-what moment came when I looked at the little instruction sheet for their wrapping paper/gardening/chocolate/misc crap extravaganza. Dude. Pick ONE. Otherwise people's eyes glaze over. I guess this doesn't matter since down at the bottom of the pink sheet of DOOM it clearly states:
Remember: Safety first! No door-to-door sales!
To which I looked up and realized they'd abandoned all pretense of having the kids sell their own stuff and really did expect their parents to do the work for them. Then they wanted me/the boy/everyone else to whore this crap out online and over the phone to all our friends.
The problem with this logic, sugarplum fairies, is that I'm just old enough that I was probably one of the last few years of kids who actually did have to hoof it from house to house, selling utter crap to old people who, if I was lucky, would think me cute enough to be irresistible. Sadly for me, my cuteness wore off in third grade and I lived in a neighborhood filled with rich old people... who had already been hit up by all the rich kids who had been back at school since the start of August. I may have laughed at them while I ran around with an extra two weeks of freedom, but obviously they laughed harder when my broke-ass walked from house to house to house being told they'd just bought some useless crap from some other kid.
So. Yeah. I had to sell my own stuff. My parents didn't do it for me. They'd walk with me as I hit each house because, hello, not crazy, but they didn't force little old ladies to break out their checkbooks or anything. So why in hell would I do all that work for someone else? I firmly believe that when the time comes, you inflict the pain you had as a kid on someone else, so long as we're talking selling craptacular, overpriced wrapping paper to virtual strangers.
This isn't to say I wouldn't hit my friends up if I thought there was a chance they'd say yes, but I'd make Widge do the actual hitting up.
But the point, and I did find it again, was this:
Down at the bottom, the first prize listed, $350 Sell This Much And Get Driven To CiCi's Pizza... IN A LIMO.
Yeah. I thought I would die.
Then again, I've met quite a few of the limo drivers around here and I gotta say... wow. No.
Must away to look at what the Widge is selling.
I truly don't remember starting our Fall Fundraisers the week after school began. I thought they gave us two weeks so that parents weren't quite as strapped by all those pesky school supply lists and had probably been paid again. Apparently the new school regime does not believe in such logical thinking, as Widge came home today loaded with school fundraiser things.
The first that made me choke back a giggle was the SAIL program selling aluminum water bottles. For $9 a pop. Then I looked at the various Scholastic crack-dealings and that was nice, although I didn't see as much as I would have expected to love. Sadness.
But the ultimate wait-what moment came when I looked at the little instruction sheet for their wrapping paper/gardening/chocolate/misc crap extravaganza. Dude. Pick ONE. Otherwise people's eyes glaze over. I guess this doesn't matter since down at the bottom of the pink sheet of DOOM it clearly states:
Remember: Safety first! No door-to-door sales!
To which I looked up and realized they'd abandoned all pretense of having the kids sell their own stuff and really did expect their parents to do the work for them. Then they wanted me/the boy/everyone else to whore this crap out online and over the phone to all our friends.
The problem with this logic, sugarplum fairies, is that I'm just old enough that I was probably one of the last few years of kids who actually did have to hoof it from house to house, selling utter crap to old people who, if I was lucky, would think me cute enough to be irresistible. Sadly for me, my cuteness wore off in third grade and I lived in a neighborhood filled with rich old people... who had already been hit up by all the rich kids who had been back at school since the start of August. I may have laughed at them while I ran around with an extra two weeks of freedom, but obviously they laughed harder when my broke-ass walked from house to house to house being told they'd just bought some useless crap from some other kid.
So. Yeah. I had to sell my own stuff. My parents didn't do it for me. They'd walk with me as I hit each house because, hello, not crazy, but they didn't force little old ladies to break out their checkbooks or anything. So why in hell would I do all that work for someone else? I firmly believe that when the time comes, you inflict the pain you had as a kid on someone else, so long as we're talking selling craptacular, overpriced wrapping paper to virtual strangers.
This isn't to say I wouldn't hit my friends up if I thought there was a chance they'd say yes, but I'd make Widge do the actual hitting up.
But the point, and I did find it again, was this:
Down at the bottom, the first prize listed, $350 Sell This Much And Get Driven To CiCi's Pizza... IN A LIMO.
Yeah. I thought I would die.
Then again, I've met quite a few of the limo drivers around here and I gotta say... wow. No.
Must away to look at what the Widge is selling.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-25 12:09 am (UTC)Yeah, I think the schools need to find other kinds of fundraisers if there's not even going to be any pretense of the kids doing the work on their own.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-25 12:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-26 02:22 pm (UTC)I'm tempted by the subscriptions, but then I remember I don't read the ones I've got. *cough*
I demand children be forced to do their own begging.