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impyThe problem with cleaning is that you are bound to find things. Some you'll be thankful to have found, like the bra I've been missing for the last year or so. Some you'll be sad to see the condition of [my black sandals. All of them.] because time and cats, possibly nephews and gravity as well will have ruined them. And some will make you remember things that maybe you should really just be busy forgetting.
So, I figure I'll succumb to the nostalgia bug but try and divert it with another kind of memory. Thus, I'm listening to Savage Garden and admiring how cute Daniel was. Is. I don't know. Doesn't matter. Teen me was all swoonage over him and I'm pretty much the same way. Except, even then, no real actual swooning will have taken place. Granted, teen!me didn't have to worry about the nine billion other fangirls all having massive crazy crushes on her favorite of the two. No. I just had to worry about the possibility of actually, you know, seeing Daniel in a video. :P
Fun fact: You wouldn't have to worry about reading/skipping this if not for SG. SG was first official fandom. Made many a psychotic friend there. Kept quite a few for a long, long time. Might still be able to reconnect with a few. But not even the land of SG was free from board wars. HOWEVER, they were probably the only ones I didn't at least secretly egg-on and I do remember being able to go back and forth between quite a few boards and not have to worry about being killed in the crossfire. Which, if you've been part of a board war, you know is awfully difficult to do over a couple of boards, let alone five or so. *cough*
Also, that fandom brought me my first creep-factor dude. I know, right? And for the most part, he's the only one who's ever actively interacted with me off-board and it was just so bizarre. Sometimes I wonder if maybe he just came across as creepy but really wasn't. On the other hand, I kind of doubt that, too. It's hard to tell. You get to a certain stage and you wonder if maybe you misjudged people in the past because now you sort of understand where they *could* have been coming from, even if you don't think they actually were.
*hums* I'd forgotten how many sad songs there were on Affirmation. Well. No. I guess I hadn't. There's a reason I haven't listened to it lately and that would be it.
That said, it was much easier to buy presents then. I'd just buy whomever a SG CD/single/whatever, depending on what was out. Yeah. I didn't care what you did with it afterwards, but you were getting it as a gift. :P
Obviously the diversion didn't work, but these things, they happen. I kind of hope next year tomorrow's date will just be another day, and not a reminder of what was and what could have been. Not necessarily what should have been, just what could have. But I'm not going to think about that so much as slowly moving on. I figure after ten years, I get to take my freakin' time moving on, even if I'm the only one.
Maybe this way I won't be like certain people who are still massively stuck on the one person they never managed to let go of. I don't want whatever's next to be ruined by not having... gotten over it. And after a decade, I think it takes a while, particularly when you tend to run away from things like this. And trust me, I do a mean run from emotional crap.
So. Hey. Wherever you are, you wuss, tomorrow would have been 12 years. Only you couldn't hack it, so. It's not. One of these days I'll tire of cursing you when my day goes to hell. But that day is not today, and I don't think it'll be tomorrow either. Try back next year. Until then? I hope you realize what an asshole you were and that it either kicks you in the ass or that it will.
and the years go by so fast
fun fact #2: one of the only things that got me through certain days of school was having the lyrics to a thousand words on one of my binders and essentially tuning people out and going to my happy place. High school. Sucking the soul out of you since the beginning of time. Some of the happiest seconds of the worst days I have are spent remembering that I don't have to deal with that anymore, no matter what the nightmares say.
This week I'll be stalking the mailman. Until then, I'm off to drown in Pepsi and snuggle a kitty.
So, I figure I'll succumb to the nostalgia bug but try and divert it with another kind of memory. Thus, I'm listening to Savage Garden and admiring how cute Daniel was. Is. I don't know. Doesn't matter. Teen me was all swoonage over him and I'm pretty much the same way. Except, even then, no real actual swooning will have taken place. Granted, teen!me didn't have to worry about the nine billion other fangirls all having massive crazy crushes on her favorite of the two. No. I just had to worry about the possibility of actually, you know, seeing Daniel in a video. :P
Fun fact: You wouldn't have to worry about reading/skipping this if not for SG. SG was first official fandom. Made many a psychotic friend there. Kept quite a few for a long, long time. Might still be able to reconnect with a few. But not even the land of SG was free from board wars. HOWEVER, they were probably the only ones I didn't at least secretly egg-on and I do remember being able to go back and forth between quite a few boards and not have to worry about being killed in the crossfire. Which, if you've been part of a board war, you know is awfully difficult to do over a couple of boards, let alone five or so. *cough*
Also, that fandom brought me my first creep-factor dude. I know, right? And for the most part, he's the only one who's ever actively interacted with me off-board and it was just so bizarre. Sometimes I wonder if maybe he just came across as creepy but really wasn't. On the other hand, I kind of doubt that, too. It's hard to tell. You get to a certain stage and you wonder if maybe you misjudged people in the past because now you sort of understand where they *could* have been coming from, even if you don't think they actually were.
*hums* I'd forgotten how many sad songs there were on Affirmation. Well. No. I guess I hadn't. There's a reason I haven't listened to it lately and that would be it.
That said, it was much easier to buy presents then. I'd just buy whomever a SG CD/single/whatever, depending on what was out. Yeah. I didn't care what you did with it afterwards, but you were getting it as a gift. :P
Obviously the diversion didn't work, but these things, they happen. I kind of hope next year tomorrow's date will just be another day, and not a reminder of what was and what could have been. Not necessarily what should have been, just what could have. But I'm not going to think about that so much as slowly moving on. I figure after ten years, I get to take my freakin' time moving on, even if I'm the only one.
Maybe this way I won't be like certain people who are still massively stuck on the one person they never managed to let go of. I don't want whatever's next to be ruined by not having... gotten over it. And after a decade, I think it takes a while, particularly when you tend to run away from things like this. And trust me, I do a mean run from emotional crap.
So. Hey. Wherever you are, you wuss, tomorrow would have been 12 years. Only you couldn't hack it, so. It's not. One of these days I'll tire of cursing you when my day goes to hell. But that day is not today, and I don't think it'll be tomorrow either. Try back next year. Until then? I hope you realize what an asshole you were and that it either kicks you in the ass or that it will.
and the years go by so fast
fun fact #2: one of the only things that got me through certain days of school was having the lyrics to a thousand words on one of my binders and essentially tuning people out and going to my happy place. High school. Sucking the soul out of you since the beginning of time. Some of the happiest seconds of the worst days I have are spent remembering that I don't have to deal with that anymore, no matter what the nightmares say.
This week I'll be stalking the mailman. Until then, I'm off to drown in Pepsi and snuggle a kitty.
