goddammit.
Nov. 1st, 2010 12:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
impyBreathe.
Just. Freakin'. Breathe.
Just because the boy says something does not mean it will happen. And just because you do not want it to happen does not mean it might not be a good thing. Somehow.
My Halloween kind of blew. It's strange. My birthday, I fully understand how it never lives up to expectactions. For July 10, I expect people to remember my birthday. I expect a gift or six, and I not so secretly wish that someone would throw me a goddamned party since I, someone who is about a step up from recluse but working my way down every day, have thrown people parties before and for fuck's sake, they threw my mother one once... Um, my point... I had it.
Oh. Yes. Birthdays I set myself up and I know I do.
So by the time Halloween rolls around, I have very low standards.
I want to smell the aroma of a pumpkin being burned from the inside out via a candle. Real ones, people. Real ones. I like to watch at least one Halloween themed episode of *something*. It doesn't even have to be a show I like. I visit the old neighborhood to see who survives the "you didn't decorate for my favorite holiday!"=pocalypse. I have a handful of candy corn. I pretend for half a second that I like carving pumpkins. And I take the Widget trick or treating.
I should mention that with the exception of the first and last things mentioned, this can all be stretched out over the month of October. (I do admit I also like a viewing of The Worst Witch, but I think I OD'd on it last year)
Soooo... yesterday was kind of iffy. On the one hand, NCIS marathon that included episodes I haven't seen. :D On the other, the carton of icecream that was mostly full before dinner? Almost completely empty after dinner. :( I really wanted some, too. But a whiskey sour and the NCIS marathon and I was better. When we switched to episodes I'd seen, I found Clue on ABC family and stayed up til 2am watching that. I thought that obviously this was a sign of goodness. :D
I woke up without needing my backup alarm and sent Widget on his way. I knocked out most of the stuff on my list well before it was time to start considering heading downstairs for the Monster High special on Nick. Watched that, enjoyed it (we'll discuss that later) and Widget came home on time to carve pumpkins!
Only... somehow *my pumpkin* ceased to be mine. So... Widget threw fit after fit when we pointed out that he had a nice sized pumpkin, why was the face teeny tiny and impossible for me to carve? G'ah. Still! Halloween!
Time flew by and it was soon nap time. So naturally Widget woke me up when I had fifteen minutes left and I hadn't really fallen asleep anyway, and certainly didn't after that. I figured I had a little less than an hour to get him in his costume and to have him help set up the last few things before he went to the Church down the street for an hour or two.
4:30 and he's whisked away. No pictures taken at all. *grumbles* Frickin' Halloween... I assemble the front room and the living room and turn the lights on and set up a pumpkin on the back porch in case someone wanders down the gravel road. The darker it gets outside, the more tea lights I turn on. The house looks pretty damn good, if I must say so myself. I set out the candy and wait. And wait. I have dinner. Sketti. Yum!
And wait. Around 6:30 I figure I should put on any makeup I wanted to have on for trick or treating and of course this means I miss the first trick or treater of the night. Truthfully, I'm not that big on handing out candy. Kids are little bastards so... I don't really like that part of Halloween. So. Not heartbroken.
There's a makeup miracle (perfect cat's eye eyeliner for one eye!) and mistake (so not perfect on the other and when I went for the lighter shade, I ended up in the darker and it was just not cool) but it was fixable.
Downstairs I go, excited because it's almost 7 and the Widget will be home soon and trick or treating and This Year Will Be The Year I Don't Need to Coach Him. YES!
And I wait.
And wait. Mums goes upstairs to attempt to catch eggs on the dragoncave again. If nothing else, she's successful at that. Huzzah? I tell her not to stay gone too long because I'm kinda seriously sad at this point (it's after the makeup but before 7) and... yeah. I don't see her again until much, much later.
7:30 comes and goes and I'm more than a little sad. Did you know that crying through glittery makeup actually makes it look better? Strange, but true.
8:00 appears and still nothing.
I forget when he appears but it's with his trick or treat bag filled with candy and he's all thrilled and hyper like kids are on Halloween and the first thing out of his mouth was "Trick or treating was so much fun!"
What.
The.
FUCK.
I understood when I thought he'd just stayed at the church til that was over because the boy hadn't picked him up or he didn't have a way to get home, or he simply was having so much fun he didn't want to leave. It hurt, but not like this.
Went.
Without.
Me.
And couldn't understand why I wasn't bubbling over with absolute glee at this. I tried to pawn him off on Mums so that I wouldn't totally squash the goodness. I'm vindictive and cruel at times, but I do TRY to avoid making people feel like shit sometimes.
Somehow I end up offering to take him to the houses he didn't hit and it was fun, although I felt more than a little weird taking him around to the very few houses with lights still on. Most of the people were very nice, even if he STILL doesn't grasp the trick or treat concept (you've got to say it, kidlet!) and he chatted and always remembered the thank you, so at least there was that. Since we were so late, and I don't think there were a ton of trick or treaters this year (our door only opened four, maybe five times?), he ended up with quite a bit of candy considering how few houses we actually hit. I got a full sized Twix from the house with the best candy (they gave out toys, too) and the couple handing out the candy had accents so score.
House that turned out the lights after he knocked on the door, but without opening up and giving him a penny or something? UNCOOL. Luckily there were two more houses after that, although we did have to walk quite a bit to get to them.
Came hom where I was denied the joy of trick or treating at my own house (seriously, answer the frickin' door, people!) and found that my pumpkins (the smell, remember?) had been blown out. :(
I was about ready to call it even when the boy tells me, about an hour ago now, that he's trying to find some place to send the dog. Not a real home, but a shelter.
WHO THE FUCK RUINS MY HOLIDAY LIKE THAT?
It took killing my feet to get me back to not wanting to punch everyone and then you spring that? Fuck you.
I hate him. I truly hate him.
Breathe. Remember he says a lot of things. And a lot of those things? Never come to pass. Otherwise he'd be employed, wouldn't he? Indeed.
Hate.
Just. Freakin'. Breathe.
Just because the boy says something does not mean it will happen. And just because you do not want it to happen does not mean it might not be a good thing. Somehow.
My Halloween kind of blew. It's strange. My birthday, I fully understand how it never lives up to expectactions. For July 10, I expect people to remember my birthday. I expect a gift or six, and I not so secretly wish that someone would throw me a goddamned party since I, someone who is about a step up from recluse but working my way down every day, have thrown people parties before and for fuck's sake, they threw my mother one once... Um, my point... I had it.
Oh. Yes. Birthdays I set myself up and I know I do.
So by the time Halloween rolls around, I have very low standards.
I want to smell the aroma of a pumpkin being burned from the inside out via a candle. Real ones, people. Real ones. I like to watch at least one Halloween themed episode of *something*. It doesn't even have to be a show I like. I visit the old neighborhood to see who survives the "you didn't decorate for my favorite holiday!"=pocalypse. I have a handful of candy corn. I pretend for half a second that I like carving pumpkins. And I take the Widget trick or treating.
I should mention that with the exception of the first and last things mentioned, this can all be stretched out over the month of October. (I do admit I also like a viewing of The Worst Witch, but I think I OD'd on it last year)
Soooo... yesterday was kind of iffy. On the one hand, NCIS marathon that included episodes I haven't seen. :D On the other, the carton of icecream that was mostly full before dinner? Almost completely empty after dinner. :( I really wanted some, too. But a whiskey sour and the NCIS marathon and I was better. When we switched to episodes I'd seen, I found Clue on ABC family and stayed up til 2am watching that. I thought that obviously this was a sign of goodness. :D
I woke up without needing my backup alarm and sent Widget on his way. I knocked out most of the stuff on my list well before it was time to start considering heading downstairs for the Monster High special on Nick. Watched that, enjoyed it (we'll discuss that later) and Widget came home on time to carve pumpkins!
Only... somehow *my pumpkin* ceased to be mine. So... Widget threw fit after fit when we pointed out that he had a nice sized pumpkin, why was the face teeny tiny and impossible for me to carve? G'ah. Still! Halloween!
Time flew by and it was soon nap time. So naturally Widget woke me up when I had fifteen minutes left and I hadn't really fallen asleep anyway, and certainly didn't after that. I figured I had a little less than an hour to get him in his costume and to have him help set up the last few things before he went to the Church down the street for an hour or two.
4:30 and he's whisked away. No pictures taken at all. *grumbles* Frickin' Halloween... I assemble the front room and the living room and turn the lights on and set up a pumpkin on the back porch in case someone wanders down the gravel road. The darker it gets outside, the more tea lights I turn on. The house looks pretty damn good, if I must say so myself. I set out the candy and wait. And wait. I have dinner. Sketti. Yum!
And wait. Around 6:30 I figure I should put on any makeup I wanted to have on for trick or treating and of course this means I miss the first trick or treater of the night. Truthfully, I'm not that big on handing out candy. Kids are little bastards so... I don't really like that part of Halloween. So. Not heartbroken.
There's a makeup miracle (perfect cat's eye eyeliner for one eye!) and mistake (so not perfect on the other and when I went for the lighter shade, I ended up in the darker and it was just not cool) but it was fixable.
Downstairs I go, excited because it's almost 7 and the Widget will be home soon and trick or treating and This Year Will Be The Year I Don't Need to Coach Him. YES!
And I wait.
And wait. Mums goes upstairs to attempt to catch eggs on the dragoncave again. If nothing else, she's successful at that. Huzzah? I tell her not to stay gone too long because I'm kinda seriously sad at this point (it's after the makeup but before 7) and... yeah. I don't see her again until much, much later.
7:30 comes and goes and I'm more than a little sad. Did you know that crying through glittery makeup actually makes it look better? Strange, but true.
8:00 appears and still nothing.
I forget when he appears but it's with his trick or treat bag filled with candy and he's all thrilled and hyper like kids are on Halloween and the first thing out of his mouth was "Trick or treating was so much fun!"
What.
The.
FUCK.
I understood when I thought he'd just stayed at the church til that was over because the boy hadn't picked him up or he didn't have a way to get home, or he simply was having so much fun he didn't want to leave. It hurt, but not like this.
Went.
Without.
Me.
And couldn't understand why I wasn't bubbling over with absolute glee at this. I tried to pawn him off on Mums so that I wouldn't totally squash the goodness. I'm vindictive and cruel at times, but I do TRY to avoid making people feel like shit sometimes.
Somehow I end up offering to take him to the houses he didn't hit and it was fun, although I felt more than a little weird taking him around to the very few houses with lights still on. Most of the people were very nice, even if he STILL doesn't grasp the trick or treat concept (you've got to say it, kidlet!) and he chatted and always remembered the thank you, so at least there was that. Since we were so late, and I don't think there were a ton of trick or treaters this year (our door only opened four, maybe five times?), he ended up with quite a bit of candy considering how few houses we actually hit. I got a full sized Twix from the house with the best candy (they gave out toys, too) and the couple handing out the candy had accents so score.
House that turned out the lights after he knocked on the door, but without opening up and giving him a penny or something? UNCOOL. Luckily there were two more houses after that, although we did have to walk quite a bit to get to them.
Came hom where I was denied the joy of trick or treating at my own house (seriously, answer the frickin' door, people!) and found that my pumpkins (the smell, remember?) had been blown out. :(
I was about ready to call it even when the boy tells me, about an hour ago now, that he's trying to find some place to send the dog. Not a real home, but a shelter.
WHO THE FUCK RUINS MY HOLIDAY LIKE THAT?
It took killing my feet to get me back to not wanting to punch everyone and then you spring that? Fuck you.
I hate him. I truly hate him.
Breathe. Remember he says a lot of things. And a lot of those things? Never come to pass. Otherwise he'd be employed, wouldn't he? Indeed.
Hate.
