(no subject)
Mar. 17th, 2024 09:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
impyI need an opinion because life lately has been tap dancing on my nerves and I'm fairly certain I'm not crazy for feeling the way I do, but I'd like someone else to chime in and lemme know.
So. Get added to a cousin family game night chat on FB. The eldest cousin (her brother's passed away) reminds everyone that at some point everyone had been all in for a cousin family game night and hey, we could do it online rather than waiting for hell to freeze for everyone to get together. Considering we're spread across at least *thinks* 5 states, maybe 6? Fair.
Despite the fact that I am immediately hit with the same wave of anxiety induced panic that always accompanies anything involving hanging out with other people, part of me thinks perhaps it is time to be less of a hermit and test whether I'm the black sheep or the mythical, seldom seen creature instead. I was gonna say unicorn but like, they're fab and I'm not sure anyone's out here pining away for not having seen me in eons, k? I've been feeling this way for awhile and since opportunity presented itself, I'd go for it.
As far as I can tell, everyone except *maybe* B and my brother answered with a resounding yes. B and I aren't FB friends (he's kept to himself and I don't initiate FB friend status with people generally speaking but it's not beef on my end) and the boy was out of town, plus it's possible he just did a thumbs up and I missed it in the flurry of "OMG, YES!" replies.
Everyone also starts giving options for times that work or don't work for them. I'm pretty sure that of the living cousins, I'm the only one without kids (step or otherwise) and spring means a lot of sports just kicked into high gear so I get that people have complicated schedules. I'm mentioning this as an out, because at least three people replied with caveats to their OMG, YES with notations about being swamped for like, the next month but still being interested.
At least two mentioned Sundays as being wiiiiiiiiiiiiide open for them, so I was feeling pretty hopeful when I threw out that if we did Sundays, I could actually partake because of it being my weekend night off. (graveyard shift!) And then the chat went silent. Because I can kill a conversation like no one else. yay. But when I came home this morning and checked, Eldest had sent instructions for discord and how to join and I immediately accepted because, and I cannot stress this enough, I was actually excited for this, even as the anxiety wave was building in the background.
I poked around, realized nothing had been done yet beyond bare bones, and went back to the chat where I saw this:
Then we can find a time to try it out. Sounds like a good time to try would be a Saturday at 6pm Eastern
...oh.
ok.
Uh... well, I guess that's how it is.
I didn't expect to feel like this so soon and yet here we are. I cannot tell you the number of times I've double (triple/quadruple) checked to make sure that I hadn't missed some message between mine and hers that said oh, no, Sundays are definitely out for sure. But unless her brother (B) did and since we're not friends it didn't show, uh, no. It literally goes from "Sundays means I can play too!" to "So Saturdays sound like the best option!"
I know I could just as easily say something, anything because maybe it's a typo, maybe I got lost in the shuffle somehow (fb is a bitch after all) -whatever... but I just can't bring myself to do so yet. Maybe at all.
There's some other stuff but that's about it. Oh. And uh, Eldest was my favorite so this feels extra fun.
So. Get added to a cousin family game night chat on FB. The eldest cousin (her brother's passed away) reminds everyone that at some point everyone had been all in for a cousin family game night and hey, we could do it online rather than waiting for hell to freeze for everyone to get together. Considering we're spread across at least *thinks* 5 states, maybe 6? Fair.
Despite the fact that I am immediately hit with the same wave of anxiety induced panic that always accompanies anything involving hanging out with other people, part of me thinks perhaps it is time to be less of a hermit and test whether I'm the black sheep or the mythical, seldom seen creature instead. I was gonna say unicorn but like, they're fab and I'm not sure anyone's out here pining away for not having seen me in eons, k? I've been feeling this way for awhile and since opportunity presented itself, I'd go for it.
As far as I can tell, everyone except *maybe* B and my brother answered with a resounding yes. B and I aren't FB friends (he's kept to himself and I don't initiate FB friend status with people generally speaking but it's not beef on my end) and the boy was out of town, plus it's possible he just did a thumbs up and I missed it in the flurry of "OMG, YES!" replies.
Everyone also starts giving options for times that work or don't work for them. I'm pretty sure that of the living cousins, I'm the only one without kids (step or otherwise) and spring means a lot of sports just kicked into high gear so I get that people have complicated schedules. I'm mentioning this as an out, because at least three people replied with caveats to their OMG, YES with notations about being swamped for like, the next month but still being interested.
At least two mentioned Sundays as being wiiiiiiiiiiiiide open for them, so I was feeling pretty hopeful when I threw out that if we did Sundays, I could actually partake because of it being my weekend night off. (graveyard shift!) And then the chat went silent. Because I can kill a conversation like no one else. yay. But when I came home this morning and checked, Eldest had sent instructions for discord and how to join and I immediately accepted because, and I cannot stress this enough, I was actually excited for this, even as the anxiety wave was building in the background.
I poked around, realized nothing had been done yet beyond bare bones, and went back to the chat where I saw this:
Then we can find a time to try it out. Sounds like a good time to try would be a Saturday at 6pm Eastern
...oh.
ok.
Uh... well, I guess that's how it is.
I didn't expect to feel like this so soon and yet here we are. I cannot tell you the number of times I've double (triple/quadruple) checked to make sure that I hadn't missed some message between mine and hers that said oh, no, Sundays are definitely out for sure. But unless her brother (B) did and since we're not friends it didn't show, uh, no. It literally goes from "Sundays means I can play too!" to "So Saturdays sound like the best option!"
I know I could just as easily say something, anything because maybe it's a typo, maybe I got lost in the shuffle somehow (fb is a bitch after all) -whatever... but I just can't bring myself to do so yet. Maybe at all.
There's some other stuff but that's about it. Oh. And uh, Eldest was my favorite so this feels extra fun.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-19 01:48 am (UTC)For people with children's sports commitments, I feel like those happen on Saturdays, too, so I don't really see how that's possibly the best time.
Full honesty, this would be a nightmare for me. I don't have any type of social anxiety, but I'm not sure how that many people across that many states (unless all the same time zone but still) can coordinate long enough to actually have fun playing a game. I think it would drive my logical, organizational self insane.
I hope it works out!
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-19 09:42 am (UTC)If I remember correctly on where everyone lives, we're talking two, maaaaaaaaaybe three time zones. Not sure where mystery B lives, but last I heard was either West or Mountain. Everyone else is on the East Coast. Honestly, hadn't even gotten into thinking about how the game play would work scattered like people are simply because while I like having learned to play a new game, I hate the actual learning to play a new game because it kicks the anxiety up several dozen notches. Brain, you don't need to know how to play all the things ever at once. Brain does not agree.
As of right now, I have no proof that anyone other than Eldest and her older kid have even been on the server. So there's that.