sleepless

I suspect that it would take less time to go to my room and hunt through the 200 tapes I have littered all around the place and find the Silver and Cold video than it would to download it just on youtube. [As opposed to downloading it and then burning it and loving it always. See the difference?] But I'm lazy.

Also, I know full well that if I go to my room, I'll finish the end of The Guy Not Taken, wonder why it wasn't just called Swimming in Divorce, or some other title involving those two things, and then pass out. Or, if I'm feeling particularly masochistic, I'll finish TGNT and then go back to reading Dead End Dating and then pass out whenever my eyes finally couldn't take it anymore.

For you see, I've been cutting into my sleep all week for reasons I don't particularly understand. Tuesday was easy enough to figure out. I spent Christmas awake from well before sunup to well past sundown, so I slept entirely too long that night. Which meant I wasn't tired at all that afternoon. However, I should have passed the fuck out Wednesday. I didn't. Should have Thursday. Didn't. Friday? Nope. Will I today? I hope so, since I switched and now work at ten again. It almost reminds me of most of my teenage years when I wouldn't sleep for too long. That could have been due to the extreme nightmares, or the knowledge that when I woke, the real fun was only beginning. And by fun, I mean torture.

On the shoe front, they did come yesterday. They fit, sort of. The left shoe fits but the right shoe is mocking me terribly. I'll be damned if I go shoe shopping more than once, so I'm waiting to see if they pass the Ari inspection. If they do, I'll deal with any pain. If they don't, I'll deal with pain of another variety. They're super cute and one might imagine I would share a picture, even if it's just the promotional shot. One might be right, if a little early. Tomorrow. Along with a variety of other things I've been meaning to do.

I'm not an evil sort all the time, but hearing all about someone else's perfectly normal, perfectly perfect relationship is sometimes an awful lot like being force fed shards of glass. No fun to begin with and definitely worse as time goes by, just without the tragic end. Fun.

So, to distract myself, I finally cracked open the AFI retrospective and pretty much handed my headache a chainsaw and told it to take out the rest of my brain. And so it did, though with much giggling at a certain song. I think I prefer God Called in Sick Today live, which is odd, as I almost never prefer a song live. I think there are a couple of Tori songs, but usually it's studio stuff. Because I'm just that annoying.

Annnnnnnnd an hour later, give or take half an hour, the video loads. I remember loving this video for all sorts of reasons, the least of which being the fact that I was massively depressed at the time and so the story appealed to me, no matter which way you chose to look at the ending. [If you're playing along at home, but without the inclination to see said video: ( tada! )

Incidentally, aside from this Christmas trip to FYE, the last time I stepped through those doors, the song was playing and I tried to describe the video and was rewarded with, "God, that's depressing," followed by this look that was probably supposed to lead to, "Are you okay" but was instead interrupted by someone else needing attention. I drama queen it up quite nicely when I'm fine, but if it's important, I simply let someone else come in and steal the show until I lack the words to fix it, whatever 'it' is.

I think I shall pass out now, while it's still relatively early, all things considered. If, for whatever reason, I'm not here tomorrow, happy new year.