circles and circles again
Jul. 18th, 2006 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
impy Isn't worth something overly witty, actually.
First of all, the movie is incredibly long if you end up right behind someone so you can't do the really rude legs propped up on the seats infront of you thing. Really, really long. I thought my ankle/knee pain would kill me. However, had my right leg not been in agony for half the movie, I would not bitch about a long movie. I hate it when movies are too short. I dislike paying a small fortune to sit through a movie that's been cut down to satisfy the short attention spans the entertainment industry has spent so long cultivating. Gimme a long movie, an epic, and make it good.
The good? New Supes is that loverly mixture of total dork [Hello, Clark!] and self assured [ 'Sup, Supes?] and while I thought he looked dorky in the suit, I think that was mostly just that the suit wasn't quite right. I'll be damned if I know what quite right would have looked like though. Lex was fantastical and there were lots of laugh out loud moments where you knew damn well they meant for it to be funny.
I even liked Richard, Lois Lane's bitchboy. At first all I could think was, "God, what a tool. Is there you've been playing nothing but tools lately?" To which ari and I both said about the same thing at the same time and dissolved into laughter. [unintentional humor, you see] But about halfway through the movie, he's busy with saving Lois and um... Jason? The kid. And he's holding them above water, killing time until they all die, and Superman comes along, saves the day, and there's this look like he knows full well he's handing over his family to this spandex wearing, overly gelled up pretty boy and he can't stop it. And all I could think was how unfair is that? Sure, he's a tool, but let's be honest, Bitchtastic Lois would probably require anyone around her to be reduced to a tool. But a real tool would stand in the way, bitching and screaming and throwing a hissy fit as the end becomes obvious. He drives his family to see the other guy because he knows they need to go. I'm a sucker for the third wheel, kay? Shove it.
And for the most part I managed to lose myself in the story. Which is a good thing, yes.
This brings us to the part of the movie that I loathed.
Lois. Fucking. Lane.
I'm fairly certain that I dislike 90% of the female leads in comic-type movies and stories. I dislike being one of those girls who feels that way, because it's a freakin' statistic [or should be] but it happens.
What's not to love about this incarnation of Lois?
Kate Bosworth looks all of 20 in the movie. Actually, a little older what with the HUGE bobblehead and forehead that her hairstyle seems to have been created to show off. So when she's running around talking about a history with anyone or anything, all you're left thinking is, "What? When you were 14?"
Then there's the fact that considering how tiny she is, all the times she's thrown around and her head connects with a nice solid thunk? She should have been to the hospital and possibly the morgue. Seriously. But I could over look this, possibly if not for...
Lois is a bitch. Not an entertaining bitch, but the kind where even if you understand her bitterness, you're still left holding a bunch of other unflattering personality chips. "How many Fs are in catastrophe?" None, you idiot. You won a friggin' Pulitzer and you can't spell catastrophe? I can spell catastrophe and I can't spell worth a damn! At the very least you should know there aren't any Fs, kay? How about the fact that she only seems to give half a rat's ass about her kid once she's got total undeniable proof he's Superman's spawn? Who the FUCK endangers their kid by taking them straight into the bad guy's lair? She doesn't even get the benefit of "well, she couldn't have known" because she went trespassing in the hopes of finding something. This was after she forgot all about the kid in her persuit of said story. Add to it the fact that she's cold as ice towards kiddo the entire time and you're left wondering why there's a kid at all, other than to bind Lois to Richard, hurt Clark, and have someone who seems to love Superman unconditionally.
But the single most annoying thing in the whole movie?
The sledgehammer to the head that was every damn person reciting Lois Lane's article, "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman." Shutthehellupnow,thankyou. The entire thing was uttered so often the whole friggin audience began to groan by the sixth time some idiot would utter it. It's not like the camera didn't linger lovingly over the headline when it's first introduced. Once or twice aloud is okay I suppose, but anything more than that? Over.Kill.
Yeah. Lois? Had she died, I think I would have died of joy. So I suppose it's for the best she didn't.
And that was Superman, the good, the bad, and the painfully skinny.
Figures, the dress I included as a total afterthought? Yeah, that's the one she was all "Yay!" for. Thoughts? Now, to figure out which red will best correspond to the apple from davidsbridal [also known as bridal hell] annnnnnnd I suppose cue the diet. Meh. [The wedding is January 21, 2007 if memory serves. /note to self]
Quickly before breakfast: I do not understand why my brother seems to believe that yelling all the damn time at his kid is the way to go. The dog ended up with gum on her paw yesterday. Uncool, yes. I felt bad for the dog, though I'd have felt worse if she seemed at all bothered by it. But the boy freaks out, starts screaming for Widget and Widget does what most people do when someone is yelling at them so loud you begin to think it's the wrath of God. He froze. He couldn't answer the "Why'd you put gum on the dog?" question being screamed at him. And the thing is, it's not like stepping in would have helped. He'd just yell louder. I seem to recall the boy when he was widget sized freezing up when people would yell at him, and y'know what? While my dad and grandfather would yell and dad would spank and grandaddy would yank you around by the ear [Christ, that's painful] they didn't yell all the damn time.
Annnnnnd now I'm in search of food.
First of all, the movie is incredibly long if you end up right behind someone so you can't do the really rude legs propped up on the seats infront of you thing. Really, really long. I thought my ankle/knee pain would kill me. However, had my right leg not been in agony for half the movie, I would not bitch about a long movie. I hate it when movies are too short. I dislike paying a small fortune to sit through a movie that's been cut down to satisfy the short attention spans the entertainment industry has spent so long cultivating. Gimme a long movie, an epic, and make it good.
The good? New Supes is that loverly mixture of total dork [Hello, Clark!] and self assured [ 'Sup, Supes?] and while I thought he looked dorky in the suit, I think that was mostly just that the suit wasn't quite right. I'll be damned if I know what quite right would have looked like though. Lex was fantastical and there were lots of laugh out loud moments where you knew damn well they meant for it to be funny.
I even liked Richard, Lois Lane's bitchboy. At first all I could think was, "God, what a tool. Is there you've been playing nothing but tools lately?" To which ari and I both said about the same thing at the same time and dissolved into laughter. [unintentional humor, you see] But about halfway through the movie, he's busy with saving Lois and um... Jason? The kid. And he's holding them above water, killing time until they all die, and Superman comes along, saves the day, and there's this look like he knows full well he's handing over his family to this spandex wearing, overly gelled up pretty boy and he can't stop it. And all I could think was how unfair is that? Sure, he's a tool, but let's be honest, Bitchtastic Lois would probably require anyone around her to be reduced to a tool. But a real tool would stand in the way, bitching and screaming and throwing a hissy fit as the end becomes obvious. He drives his family to see the other guy because he knows they need to go. I'm a sucker for the third wheel, kay? Shove it.
And for the most part I managed to lose myself in the story. Which is a good thing, yes.
This brings us to the part of the movie that I loathed.
Lois. Fucking. Lane.
I'm fairly certain that I dislike 90% of the female leads in comic-type movies and stories. I dislike being one of those girls who feels that way, because it's a freakin' statistic [or should be] but it happens.
What's not to love about this incarnation of Lois?
Kate Bosworth looks all of 20 in the movie. Actually, a little older what with the HUGE bobblehead and forehead that her hairstyle seems to have been created to show off. So when she's running around talking about a history with anyone or anything, all you're left thinking is, "What? When you were 14?"
Then there's the fact that considering how tiny she is, all the times she's thrown around and her head connects with a nice solid thunk? She should have been to the hospital and possibly the morgue. Seriously. But I could over look this, possibly if not for...
Lois is a bitch. Not an entertaining bitch, but the kind where even if you understand her bitterness, you're still left holding a bunch of other unflattering personality chips. "How many Fs are in catastrophe?" None, you idiot. You won a friggin' Pulitzer and you can't spell catastrophe? I can spell catastrophe and I can't spell worth a damn! At the very least you should know there aren't any Fs, kay? How about the fact that she only seems to give half a rat's ass about her kid once she's got total undeniable proof he's Superman's spawn? Who the FUCK endangers their kid by taking them straight into the bad guy's lair? She doesn't even get the benefit of "well, she couldn't have known" because she went trespassing in the hopes of finding something. This was after she forgot all about the kid in her persuit of said story. Add to it the fact that she's cold as ice towards kiddo the entire time and you're left wondering why there's a kid at all, other than to bind Lois to Richard, hurt Clark, and have someone who seems to love Superman unconditionally.
But the single most annoying thing in the whole movie?
The sledgehammer to the head that was every damn person reciting Lois Lane's article, "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman." Shutthehellupnow,thankyou. The entire thing was uttered so often the whole friggin audience began to groan by the sixth time some idiot would utter it. It's not like the camera didn't linger lovingly over the headline when it's first introduced. Once or twice aloud is okay I suppose, but anything more than that? Over.Kill.
Yeah. Lois? Had she died, I think I would have died of joy. So I suppose it's for the best she didn't.
And that was Superman, the good, the bad, and the painfully skinny.
Figures, the dress I included as a total afterthought? Yeah, that's the one she was all "Yay!" for. Thoughts? Now, to figure out which red will best correspond to the apple from davidsbridal [also known as bridal hell] annnnnnnd I suppose cue the diet. Meh. [The wedding is January 21, 2007 if memory serves. /note to self]
Quickly before breakfast: I do not understand why my brother seems to believe that yelling all the damn time at his kid is the way to go. The dog ended up with gum on her paw yesterday. Uncool, yes. I felt bad for the dog, though I'd have felt worse if she seemed at all bothered by it. But the boy freaks out, starts screaming for Widget and Widget does what most people do when someone is yelling at them so loud you begin to think it's the wrath of God. He froze. He couldn't answer the "Why'd you put gum on the dog?" question being screamed at him. And the thing is, it's not like stepping in would have helped. He'd just yell louder. I seem to recall the boy when he was widget sized freezing up when people would yell at him, and y'know what? While my dad and grandfather would yell and dad would spank and grandaddy would yank you around by the ear [Christ, that's painful] they didn't yell all the damn time.
Annnnnnd now I'm in search of food.
