Why hello there

[impy]

I'm trying to decide how to properly word a not-quite thank you note to the insensitive woman who hosted my father's memorial service. Given the way she blew up at my brother two days after making everyone in my family, excluding Widget, feel like complete and utter shit at the actual memorial, I thought it was only right to make sure that she knew exactly how much of a cunt I think that makes her. Seriously, who chooses that day to be a right royal bitch to someone? How much of a whackjob do you have to be to introduce yourself to someone (hello, we've already met, lady) and then cut someone down?

But I've found that if you word things just so, there's always plausible deniability in certain things. So. Nice thank you card with a not so nice message inside. But not so over the top that she can wave it around and say, "See? See? Ungrateful trailer trash!" or something. Warfare is dangerous in feminine hands.


I would like to thank you for so kindly offering to host my father’s memorial service at your home. I would also like to say it was nice to see you again, even though our last meeting was so long ago that it slipped your mind.
At the memorial service, however, you went out of your way to make sure that I understood that your generosity towards my family only extended as far as Thomas. As a result, on one of the most difficult days of my life, instead of feeling comforted by the thought that someone I really only knew through my nephew could be so good hearted, I felt horribly out of place and painfully alone in addition to heartbroken.
Given your behavior towards other members of my family, I can no longer presume you meant no harm and instead I’m left to conclude that you deliberately lashed out for reasons unknown to me.
Rest assured that when the time is right, I will make absolutely sure that Thomas understands just exactly how loving and kind his beloved Miss Martha truly is.


*muse* Ah well. I'll figure it out, right?

Soooooo, I'm blaming luxken27 for this. She informs me of Amazon's price for the new SV book that comes out at the end of the month. I take my time, wait Amazon out, and then suddenly in a fit of insanity I buy it. But I detest paying for shipping when it's going to kick it up close to $25 anyway, so I ordered a few books that are essentially from the bargain bin. (I love bargain bin books. LOVE.) Happy but not wholly satisfying, to tell the truth. I'm itching for something else. But what?

Who knows. But two days later I get a notice that the first three SVH books are being re-released in one volume and despite the fact that I know these are the re-issues (and I have serious, serious issues with the third book's revamp; wake up and smell the suck, Elizabeth) I still wants it. But I'm ready to deny myself when I notice that Ghoulia is back in stock on Amazon. And together they're pretty damn close to being $25 even. It's a SIGN, I tell you.

So... I bought them both. I fully expected Amazon to do what it usually does at times like these and hold my stuff hostage until my pre-ordered stuff was available. No. Ghoulia's been shipped, some random book from my first section has been shipped, a third book is in processing to ship. My mother is going to have kittens when my mail starts to pour in, despite the fact that I didn't go completely insane. Two orders from two different paychecks, man.

Whoa. Why did no one tell me that Hey Dude and Salute Your Shorts were available on Amazon's on demand thingie? (Btw, Clarissa Explains It All is on sale for $9.99 @ Best Buy for those who care about such things.)

Comments

[flamingnik.livejournal.com]

That woman? Needs to be hit upside the head with a large object.

You could always hand-deliver the note to her and tell her "Bless your heart for your kindness", which, as every good southern woman knows, is simply a nicely veneered "screw you".

[snarky-imp.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Sometimes I worry I was imagining it, even though everyone who has heard the story gives the same, "Wait, what?" look/reaction.

Going to have to put some thought into the "Bless your heart" thing. It's very true. *muse*