This is why I hate people

Tonight I apparently have my crabby pants on because my temper has flared in varying degrees over a fun assortment of things.

1) It's hot as hell in this house and yet, if I go outside? Mosquitoes descend upon me like I am a tasty, tasty buffet.

2) Despite liking the first book, and loving at least two characters in the series as a whole, I still hate that if one mentions a vampire or a werewolf (SPOILER: HE'S NOT A FUCKING WEREWOLF. HE'S A SHAPESHIFTER. There. Now you don't have to fucking read Breaking Dawn.) BAM. You are obviously influenced by Twilight. What I hate even more? That to a degree, they're right. I'm not entirely sure we would have gotten MH goodness if Twilight hadn't told a new generation of tween girls that vampires are AWESOME and werewolves shapeshifters are, too. On the other hand, it's possible. Vampires seem to have their moment in the sun, as it were, and then they fade away to the fringes of society again until pop culture remembers her old friends. I get it.

I just don't have to like it.

3) What the shit is this? It's bad enough fucking CBS won't put Mike & Molly episodes up anymore, now I'm told that people cannot handle fat people in a relationship, and all that entails, on a television show because fat people are icky?

Really, Marie Claire? You're going to pull this shit now, too? I fucking took Allure off my subscription list (and I really liked Allure til they went with the "are fat people icky?" question and didn't seem to find anything wrong with it), don't you think I'm going to say something? Yeah. It's going to be small, but anyone who isn't borderline stick-thin will now get, "Marie Claire's writers find you disgusting so are you sure you want to give them your money?" as a bonus question. I am dead. Serious.

So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.

AND

I would really like to apologize for the insensitive things I've said in this post. Believe it or not, I never wanted anyone to feel bullied or ashamed after reading this, and I sorely regret that it upset people so much.

Those two things do not go together. How the HELL did you intend this to be taken? Oh, right. You wanted people to back you up or be so grateful that you were dispensing weight loss tips that they didn't realize what an unbelievable fuckup this was. And it was. Oh, it was. It is, even. If I were slightly less interested in being the bigger person in every goddamned way, I would make many a cheap shot at certain things mentioned in the update. But sadly, if I'm going to be the bigger person, I'd like it to be in more than just clothing size.

But remember kids. It gets better. Unless, of course, you're fat. Then you're fucked.

*seethes with rage* Add to that the family is desperately in need of something, although I don't know what that is short of a friggin' lottery win without the accompanying curse, and you've got super fun times.

*makes strangling motions*


( So... hair? )